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September 17, 2017 at Advent Lutheran Church in Cedarburg, Wisconsin. Matthew 18:21-35. We bring the wrath upon ourselves if we refuse to forgive.

Today’s topic is forgiveness…a word that appears 133 times in the text of the Bible, 59 of those times in the New Testament. We church people use the word forgiveness a lot, and I wonder how well we understand what it means.

QUESTION: Are there some things that cannot be forgiven? If so, what are they? Last Tuesday I received the following e-mail from Pastor Paul Schwann;

We are on our way down to Indiana for the funeral of our 26-year-old nephew who was shot to death in Indianapolis. Shock. Christy’s brother's oldest son. Will talk to you when we get back next week.

Sent from Paul's I Phone,

Be Kind for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

I immediately recalled vividly the phone call from Aina’s brother Gunnar, in December of 2002 when he called and simply said:

“Michael was murdered.”

You never forget the sound, the place where you were standing and the shock of hearing words you want to run away from. Until Michel’s death I had been, as is our official ELCA position, opposed to the death penalty.

Several experiences, including my service in Vietnam, Michael’s murder, and more recently the murders of Dr. Pettit’s wife and two daughters that you may recall from the news coverage have caused me to reverse my thinking about the death penalty.

Vietnam because I found it incongruous and deeply troubling that the same people who are horrified by capital punishment because all life is sacred, don’t seem to have any problem with killing human beings whom you don’t even know and even be hailed as a hero for doing so.

The need for practicing forgiveness is one of the core teachings of the Christian faith, and indeed the teachings of Jesus. In today’s Gospel Jesus says that forgiveness is not a single act, but the “seventy – seventimes,” means forever, or endlessly.

This is important, very important because as with faith itself, it is not only something you believe or do on a case by case basis – but it is who and what you are. Forgiveness then is a lifestyle.

But what about murder? Is that included? The Christian position that the commandment, “Thou shalt not kill,” prohibits the taking of human life in all circumstances I believe is woefully misguided

The Hebrew word translated to the English “kill,” is really the word “murder.” Thou shalt not murder. Murder, for obvious reason was strictly prohibited and in fact punishable by death and depending upon circumstances the punishment for accidental or unpremeditated murder was treated much like our own justice system.

I have found that the biggest block that keeps us from forgiveness is the sense that somehow by forgiving we are condoning what was done. Rid yourself of that thought if you can – because that is not what forgiveness is.

I was so moved by Dr. Pettit’s answer when in an interview Oprah asked if forgiveness could enter this horrific story in any way. This is his answer;

“I don’t think you can forgive ultimate evil. You can forgive somebody who stole your car. You can forgive somebody who slapped you in the face. You can forgive somebody who insulted you. You can forgive somebody who caused an accident. I think forgiving the essence of evil is not appropriate.”

Notice, there is that brutal warning about what happens to the wicked slavein today’s Gospel. It reminds me of what Dr. Petit also said in reaction to the conviction of the first man who was sentenced to death.

After the verdict was given, Dr. Petit spoke from outside the courthouse. "This is a verdict for justice," he said. "I think the defendant faces far more serious punishment from the Lord than he can ever face from mankind."

For me this demand for justice, by both God and human beings is the turning point of forgiveness.

As you know, I am delighted whenever I come across something in life, most especially science and medicine that validates the text of the Bible and the truths that are found in the stories.

I recently found this:

“Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. These wounds can leave you with a lasting anger, bitterness or even vengeance. But if you don’t practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy.”

Any idea where I found this?

No, not on some religious site but the Mayo Clinic Medical advice page!

Without question, our physical health and well-being is directly affected by our spiritual health and well-being. And when we refuse to forgive?

“You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you? And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt.”

And just to be clear about what he has just told in that parable of what the kingdom of heaven is like, he adds:

“So, my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

I read the Mayo Clinic piece with great interest. The torturethat the wicked slave is subjected to in the parable, Mayo Clinic is saying for us is self-imposed.

Quoting from the introduction I read a moment ago;

“But if you don’t practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly.”

When you have been hurt, especially by someone you love and trust the most normal response there is, is to be angry! It would be strange and abnormal to not feel that way. But, if you hold onto and dwell on feelings filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility, you will indeed torture yourself!

You will “Bring anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience.”

You will “Become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can’t enjoy the present.”

You will “Become depressed or anxious.”

You will “Feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you’re at odds with your spiritual beliefs.”

You will “Lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others.”

The point of forgiveness is not to get another person to change their actions, behavior or words – it is about how it can change your life by bringing you peaceof mind,happiness, and both emotional and spiritual healing.

I’m reminded once again that forgiveness is about you and not the person who hurt you, as Anne Lamont wrote in her delightful book, Traveling Mercies: Thoughts on faith.

“In fact, not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.”

AMEN.

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