Responsive Services: Supplementary
High School Advisory Activities
(Healthy Dating for Adolescents)
Summer 2008
Preface for Advisory Committee Co-Chairs & Coordinators
In an effort to provide support to the district-wide high school advisory program, the Austin Independent School District Guidance and Counseling Office coordinated its first advisory summer writing retreat in June. The results of this effort are advisory activities addressing four topics from the comprehensive guidance component of responsive services. The topics addressed, which may serve the advisory goals of supporting character development, healthy adolescent development, and positive peer culture are:
Bullying & Sexual Harassment
Healthy Dating for Adolescents
Mental Illness Awareness & Empathy
Suicide Prevention
Within each topic are three sequential activities. Depending on the length of advisory on your campus, you may wish to combine activities into one session, but please do not use just one activity in isolation. A one-shot experience on a sensitive topic can raise questions, concerns and misconceptions, without yet offering information and resources. Using at least two of the sessions will increase the likelihood of building empathy and a stronger safety net for advisees.
Despite the sensitivity of the topics the sessions have been written to stay within a teacher’s comfort level, focusing on information, awareness, empathy, peer support, and school culture. Advisors are not expected to be counselors and should refer advisees to the counseling office for counseling support. As a reminder, advisors should not self-disclose aspects of their personal lives as related to these topics.
It is recommended that before implementation that your campus does the following:
1. Notify your advisory consultant of intent to use activities. (Educators for Social Responsibility or First Things First)
2. Review activities with campus principal for activity approval.
3. With principal, determine if parent notification is needed.
4. Notify Holly Ingram, Program Specialist in the AISD Guidance and Counseling Office if assistance is needed.
5. Arrange for pre-training of advisors by pairs of school counselors & committee members.
6. Alert counseling team of date activities to be implemented as there could be an increased number of students seeking counseling services.
The Austin ISD Guidance and Counseling Department looks forward to continued support of the district-wide high school advisory program. If you have questions, concerns, or need assistance, don’t hesitate to call Holly Ingram, Secondary Program Specialist at 414-0174.
The summer 2008 advisory writing team contributors were:
Kris Downing, LCSW, Communities in Schools of Central Texas
Dianna Groves, LPC, Austin ISD Student Support Services
Sondra Halweg, Austin ISD Guidance and Counseling and National Alliance on Mental Illness Advocate
Holly Ingram, Austin ISD Guidance and Counseling
Rachel Poliner, Educators for Social Responsibility
Barri Rosenbluth, LCSW, SafePlace
Healthy Development Activity
Healthy Relationships: Values Auction (Session 1 of 3)
Date:
Gathering: Group JuggleActivity / Topic: Values Auction
Closing: Look at Your Relationships
Supplies: Several small, soft objects for tossing such as balls or stuffed animals; Board or flip chart; Handout Values Auction
Grouping: Full group / 10 minutes
15 minutes
5 minutes
Rationale: Having a healthy dating relationship is part of healthy adolescent development. However, many teens find themselves in unhealthy and even abusive dating relationships. This session helps advisees identify characteristics they value in a friend and potential dating partner.
Gathering: Group Juggle
1. Have advisees stand in a circle at arm’s length apart.
2. Explain that the group is to establish a pattern for tossing a ball so that the ball gets to everyone once, but they cannot throw it to a person next to them. For the first go-round, have all advisees raise their hands. Once they catch the ball, they lower their hands. This will easily show who has yet to receive the ball. Try out the pattern by repeating it once or twice.
3. Explain that the group must keep the ball going by following the established pattern. For the second go-round, before tossing the ball, they must call out the name of the person who is to receive it. Pause after everyone has had the ball.
4. Next ask advisees to think of a trait or characteristic they look for in a friend. Responses might include humor, kind, loyal, etc.
5. For the third go-round, each advisee will call out their trait or characteristic before tossing the ball following the established pattern. After they get good at it, you can add more objects to toss after the first ball is in play, reverse the order or challenge them to toss the ball faster.
Activity / Topic: Values Auction
Directions:
1. Copy the items on the handout Values Auction on a board or flip chart.
2. Pass out the handout Values Auction.
3. Explain to advisees that each characteristic on the list will be auctioned off to the highest bidder. Each advisee will have $1,000 to spend during the auction. The starting bid for each characteristic is $100, and advisees can bid only in increments of $100.
4. Ask to begin by prioritizing for themselves on the handout which characteristics they absolutely want to have in a partner. How much is each of these traits worth to them? Have them make notes for themselves how much they want to pay for each trait on the list. Remember, only increments of $100 can be used. Let the auction begin.
5. Keep track of how much characteristics were sold for and who bought them by writing the highest bidder’s initials and winning bid next to each item on the list.
Debriefing: After all of the characteristics have been sold, discuss the activity using the following questions.
1. Which were the most valued characteristics?
2. Why are these characteristics so important to you?
3. Was there a bidding war for a certain characteristic? Why?
4. Are all characteristics realistic?
5. How does knowing what is important to you in a partner help you have a healthy relationship?
Closing:
Option 1: Share one of the qualities from the Values Auction that you bid for that you exhibit in a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend, a close friend or family member.
Option 2: Think about a current or past relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend, a close friend or family member. Does the relationship help you feel better about yourself, worse about yourself, or about the same? Share what is one thing that you can do to make you feel better in the relationship.
Follow-up: Healthy Relationships: Dating Abuse & Violence (Session 2 of 3)
Additional Activities:
Ask advisees to write a pretend personal ad describing their ideal partner. Descriptions should focus on inner qualities vs. outer appearances. Ask for volunteers to read their ads to the group.
Values Auction
Below is a list of characteristics of a potential dating partner. How important are these characteristics to you? Imagine you had $1,000 to spend at an auction. Decide how much money you would bid for the traits that are most important to you. You can bid in increments of $100.
1. Has a lot of money
2. Loves children
3. Shares in the decision-making with you
4. Knows himself/herself and is comfortable being alone
5. Drives an expensive car
6. Accepts you for who you are, not for how you look
7. Has many of the same values as you do
8. Is a good student
9. Is able to express anger without being violent or abusive
10. Doesn’t expect you to be perfect
11. Is a good listener and communicates well
12. Takes responsibility for what he/she says and does
13. Comes from a powerful and well-known family
14. Doesn’t rush into the relationship but slowly gets
to know you better
15. Accepts when you spend time away with your friends
16. Has supportive friends other than you
17. Asks permission before touching you or being sexual
18. Will support you and your goals
19. Makes and keeps commitments
20. Is able to work through conflict by talking
21. Has set goals for the future independent from yours
Healthy Development
Healthy Relationships: Dating Abuse & Violence (Session 2 of 3)
Date:
Gathering: The Act of LoveActivity / Topic: Video Causing Pain: Real Stories of Dating Abuse and Violence (13 min. version) and Discussion
Optional Activity: Dating Jeopardy
Closing: How to get help
Supplies: Board or flip chart; computer with speakers and internet access; Video Causing Pain: Real Stories of Dating Abuse and Violence (13 min. version) downloadable from www.chooserespect.org. Handout AISD Notice of Student and Parent Rights
Supplies for optional activity: Board or flip chart
Grouping: Full group / 3 minutes
22 minutes
5 minutes
Rationale: Unhealthy relationship behaviors can start early and last a lifetime. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that 1 in 11 youth reports being a victim of physical dating abuse (Physical Dating Violence Among High School Students—United States, 2003, MMWR 2006; 55:532-535.) In response to the prevalence of dating abuse and its impact on adolescent health the CDC created Choose Respect, a primary prevention initiative for dating violence. Choose Respect includes an educational video and discussion guide, fact sheets and other print materials, public service announcements for television and radio and interactive web-based resources. All of these can be downloaded at no cost from www.chooserespect.org. The goal of the video is to make teens aware of the dynamics of abusive relationships so they can recognize the signs and prevent abuse in their own lives and in the lives of their friends.
Optional Activity: Dating Jeopardy is suggested if you cannot show the video.
Gathering: Quote: The Act of Love
Write the following quote by James Gill on a board or flip chart. Ask advisees to reflect on the quote and share their reactions to it.
“The act of love is to say ‘I want you to be who you are.’
The act of abuse is to say ‘I want you to be who I want you to be.’
It is that simple.
-James Gill
Activity / Topic: Causing Pain: Real Stories of Dating Abuse and Violence (Video, 13 minutes)
Directions:
1. Prepare for this activity by reviewing the AISD policy on dating violence, sexual harassment and bullying. Students in AISD have a right to file a Student Complaint Form if they are being threatened or harmed by another student or a staff member. A complaint of dating violence, sexual harassment or bullying is taken very seriously. The Principal will investigate all complaints and take action to protect the targeted student. For more information about this policy speak with a school administrator or counselor. Encourage advisees to speak with a counselor or someone they trust if they are being hurt or threatened or if they are aware that this happening to someone else.
2. Introduce the video by explaining that dating and domestic violence affects many people. Explain that advisees in the group may be involved in an abusive relationship, experiencing domestic violence at home or have a friend or family member who is in an abusive relationship. Ask advisees to watch the video silently and to show respect for fellow classmates at all times. Get their individual verbal agreement to do so. This will help others feel comfortable talking about this issue and hopefully reaching out for help.
3. Watch the video – use 13 minute version.
4. Ask for advisees’ reactions to the video, their thoughts and feelings about what they saw and heard.
Debriefing: Use the questions below to facilitate discussion.
1. What is dating abuse? How would you define it?
· Dating abuse is the act or threat of violence—either verbal, physical, sexual or emotional—by one partner in a current or past dating relationship toward the other partner.
2. How big is this issue? Have you ever seen or heard about an abusive dating relationship? Please do not use the names of other students.
· The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that 1 in11 youth reports being a victim of physical dating abuse (Physical Dating Violence Among High School Students—United States, 2003, MMWR 2006; 55:532-535.)
· Seventy percent of girls and 52% of boys who are abused report an injury from an abusive relationship (Foshee, VA. Gender differences in adolescent dating abuse prevalence, types and injuries. Health Education Research 1996; 11(3):275-286.)
· About I in 4 female high school students report being physically or sexually abused by someone they’ve dated. (Foshee VA, Linder GF, Bauman KE, et al. The Safe Dates project: theoretical basis, evaluation design, and selected baseline findings. American Journal of Preventive Medicine 1996; 12(2):39-47.)
· The most dangerous time for a victim is during and immediately after the break up of the relationship. This is when the abuser experiences a loss of control over his partner. If you suspect that your partner may become abusive, break up over the telephone or in a public place.
3. What forms of abuse did you see in the video?
· Controlling behaviors such as choosing a partner’s clothes, friends
· Shouting, hitting
· Put downs
· Pressuring someone to have sex
· Discouraging study or working toward good grades
· Trying to separate the partner from friends or family
4. How did the victims say they felt?
· Willing to put up with anything
· Fear that no else will want them
· Loneliness
· Anger
· Depression
5. One of the girls in the video mentioned that “if you’re mentally abused, then that can shoot you down just as much as a fist could.” How can mental abuse be as crippling as physical abuse?
6. What are the warning signs that you may be in an abusive relationship?
· Feel bad about yourself
· Feel afraid of your partner
· Feel humiliated or embarrassed by your partner
· Loss of interest in hobbies, social activities, school
· Making excuses for your partner’s behavior
· Abusing alcohol or drugs
· Constantly dealing with your partner’s jealousy
· Afraid to break up
7. What can you do to stop or prevent dating abuse?