Description Person

Good description --- At 6’4” Jaydon is tall for an 8th grader. He has brown hair and brown eyes. He lives with his mother and father. He has two younger sisters, which he is the protector of. Jaydon is a good student who tries very hard to get his work in on time. He has really good grades. He is a straight A student. He always helps others and does the right thing.

He is on the basketball team and he is pretty good. Last year he scored most of the points for his team. The team placed 2nd in division. This year he hopes to place 1st and go to State.

Jaydon is a great person with a great personality. I am glad he is my friend, and teammate. He is so cool. I wish I were as good at school and sports as he is.

Better description more details used --Jaydon sticks out in the crowd of average sized middle school students. His wavy brown hair, tan skin and big, brown doe eyes appear above everyone’s head. At 6’4” Jaydon is the tallest student at Manes Middle School and he defiantly stands a head above the rest.

That’s not the only way he stands out, Jaydon is also and excellent student and basketball player. In the classroom his focus and determination help him make straight A’s. He is always willing to help others who struggle in or out of school. Jaydon is the type of person who will stick up for you no matter who you are. He believes in doing the right thing even when it is not cool.

On the court Jaydon leads his team with ambition and talent. Being the top scorer for his team last year Jaydon helped win the 2nd place title for our division. It is his hope that this year he is able to go all the way to State.

Jaydon spends his evenings at home with his average sized mother who is only 5’6” and his above average father who is 6’7”. Jaydon also has two younger sisters he protects and helps care for. Jaydon takes his responsibility as a big brother very seriously; as he helps his sisters with their homework and makes sure they always feel that he is there when they need him.

It is my pleasure to call Jaydon my friend and teammate. His abilities and attitude are remarkable. He is truly a role model to others and myself. I say lets all strive to be more like Jaydon.

Description Thing

Good Description --- The plant is wilted. Sitting on the bookshelf in the sun. Its leaves are turning yellow. It needs to be watered.

Better description more details used –Isolated and gloomy the plant sits on the long, brown bookshelf. Its desolate leaves changing from a brilliant green, to a sad yellow; which will soon be a dead brown. Sunlight alone will not bring this plant back to its vibrant self. Water is what it is desperately begging for.

Good Description --- I can’t find you. You are about five inches long, yellow and contain lead. I use you to write with. You are my pencil.

Better description more details used – Where are you my dear friend I cannot do this without you. I know you are in here somewhere why can’t I find you. I found your buddy paper, and your dear cousin pen, but you are nowhere to be seen. I think the Backpack monster has kidnapped you and now I cannot write this paper. We both know that Mrs. Walker will not like it if I use the pen. Oh wait, there you are, my yellow savior. Hiding at the bottom of my bag, I almost didn’t see you there. You blended right in with the markers, candy wrappers, old papers and other items in the bottom of the wasteland I call a backpack.

Description Place

Good Description --- There is a white board with instructions in the front. 31 desks in 5 crooked rows. Two student computers are in the back of the room. One teacher computer on her desk, another computer hooked to the projector. There is a podium in the front of the room. The teacher talks about descriptive writing. The students are loud, talking, passing notes, laughing. Bob gets out of his seat. The teacher says sit down. She yells at the class. They are quiet for a bit. Some one smells like B.O. The air is stale.

Better description more details used --As I gaze around the room I notice people passing notes, and talking as Mrs. Walker is trying to teach. Today’s lesson is scrawled upon the white board at the front of the room, ‘Descriptive Writing: using your words to create a vivid picture.’ She tries to ignore the talking as she progressively gets louder to drown out the disruptive voices. Franklin gets up for the fourth time and begins to wonder around the room. Mrs. Walker tells him to sit down then the verbal lashing commences. She advises us to listen and threatens to give us extra work. All 31 students get quiet, as we listen to her grumble about our behavior. Then she goes back to teaching, once the gripe session is over and the actual teaching begins; my classmate’s start talking again. There is someone in each of the five rows is being disruptive.

Oh no, I can tell by the look on her face she is not happy. She is giving the evil eye to Brock. I can see it now… here it comes… Dang the assignment, ‘Describe this room in great detail. Arrrrrg! Why can’t my classmates just be quiet, and more respectful.

Ok here it goes. Posters, frogs, pictures, and rules line all the light blue walls of the Language Arts room. The Flag is promptly displayed by the dark blue door that leads into the hall. The clock above the white board slowly ticks away the seconds as I try to write this essay. Bookshelves line the left wall under four large windows. They are filled with books every size and genre. There is a furnace incased in a closet in the back corner that omits noise and sometimes a foul odor. The back of the room consists of a microwave two student computers and the teacher’s desk. Her desk is cluttered with books, folders, papers to be graded, and a computer along with other various messes. There is a shelf high on the wall above her desk that adorns many frogs and a purple stuffed bear.

In the midst of the room are thirty-one desks in five slightly askew rows. Each desk contains a middle school student who is either tiring to get this descriptive assignment done or ignoring the fact that there is an assignment all together. The talking has not dissipated and it is hard for me to concentrate. The lingering smell of B.O. fills my nostrils and distracts me even more. I hope this is enough description as I am bringing this essay to an end.

Hour______Name______Date_____

Assignment: Descriptive essay using visualization (Imagery)

You will need to pick a topic this can be anything that you can describe in great detail, using most of the 5 senses. However, in your writing you cannot name your topic. Let the reader try to figure out what you are writing about. Give enough clues, and descriptions that the reader will be able to figure it out. Be as descriptive as possible.

Your essay must be no less than 150 words. Write down your word count______

Essay needs a title 5 ______

This rubric filled in and stapled to essay5 ______

Essay is at least 150 words long, written in essay form,

not just descriptive sentences20______

Essay used at least 4 of the 5 senses10______

You essay is descriptive enough that the reader can decipher 5______

what your essay is about.

Your essay contains few errors grammar, spelling, capitalization, 5______

indentation.

50 ______

Brain storm below