DEAR DOCTOR JERRY
The mailman just came, and there is a letter from you. I guess I really did not have to write this letter.
"Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit." --Proverbs 26:5
Dear Doctor Jerry,
We are going to have to do something about the criticism concerning you and other leaders in our fellowship. Ignoring our critics is not working; they have too many names, dates, and places documented. Talking about our critics without mentioning their names is not working either. We are going to have to do something different to get the heat off us.
Lately, I have been noticing the SUCCESS of the "lunatic fringe fundamentalists" in their periodicals. They have been quite effective in their causes by publishing letters concerning their opposition. I think that we ought to try something like that. What is that scripture that you always quote? "If it works, use it!" We might as well get on the bandwagon.
We will, no doubt, run into a few problems, for we have been telling people, for years, that we ignore our critics and never say negative things about brother fundamentalists no matter how sharply we disagree with them, and we have scolded so many of the "lunatic fringe" for the same. So, be careful not to look like you are shooting our own wounded. So, right up front, admit that we are going to do something that we do not usually do; we must make it seem necessary, however. After all, this thing is affecting something far more important than THE FAITH—US!
We are also going to have to decide whom we are going to take on in confrontation; we have so many critics. What we need is someone popular, vain, ambitious, arrogant, foolish, doctrinally not with it, and a little on the dumb side. Stay away from the "lunatic fringe” fundamentalists; they are too rough and usually won't quit. When you find a choice, it wouldn't hurt to dig up a little lovable dirt on him or to print an address where folks can get it; you know . . . the way we do it in the fellowship. Also, try to round your choice's ex-friends (now enemies) to help. (Hey, nice job you did on Jim Baker; he did not know what hit him.
Naturally, you will know (better than anyone) how to clothe our diatribes, in sweet, loving, tender, brotherly rhetoric. Be smooth. The following are words and expressions that you might insert in whatever context that you deem appropriate:
Malicious, dishonest, childish, venomous, petty, sneaky, blatant, smear, jealous, ignorant, hateful, divisive, vindictive, unloving
Whatever you do, make your expose' seem like you are seeking reconciliation. You might clothe it in an "invitation" of some sort to the many pastors on your mailing list. We must not allow folks to get the impression that we sweet "Marshmallow fundamentalists" are as bad as or worse than the “lunatic fringe fundamentalists”. We might do the same thing, but we do it sweetly and without folks knowing what is going on. As for the scriptures that we have strained to silence the "lunatic fringe," don't use them for a while.
In the majority's name,
Dr. I. R. Doofunkey, Chief Maharajah-hoo-hoo
Marshmallow Baptist Fellowship
--by Herb Evans in the Flaming Torch, Sept/Oct 1984, p. 12
EDITOR'S NOTE: This article was written in reference to the letter that Mr. Falwell wrote and sent to thousands of preachers concerning articles which have appeared in THE SWORD OF THE LORD. If you did not receive the letter and would like a copy, we will be glad to send you one for $2.00. The letter is six pages long. Better still, it would be helpful for you to write to Dr. Curtis Hutson and not only get a copy of the letter, but his answer. Dr. Hutson's answer appeared in the Friday, September 7th issue of THE SWORD OF THE LORD. -- Don Edwards