Cyber Workshop Critique: Fiction SAMPLE
Writer’s name ______
Critiquer’s name ______
To the critiquer: before completing this worksheet, be sure you have studied any and all relevant Power Point material on poetry, as well as any relevant links on our calendar.
You should type your feedback directly onto this Word document, then save and post it as a reply to the writer’s Pub thread.
Use a font style or color distinct from the questions (makes reading the results easier!).
Immediate Impressions
I was worried at the start that this story would be just another Twilight Zone-ish student story about a mysterious event. But I think it turns out to be more interesting than that.
As I think some students remarked in class, it’s kind of nice that “the voice” is ambiguous—we can’t neatly pin down what it is. The narrator takes some pains to explain that it’s not a function of szizophrenia, and it doesn’t seem to operate necessarily like voices that sometimes run through anyone’s head. So we don’t exactly know what it is. I normally wouldn’t like that much, but, for some reason, it works for me here. I think.
And the ending, to my ear, is wonderful. The last line is so ironic, resonant, and indeterminate that it flat-out hurts. YES!
Character Development
The main character is coming into view, but not quite fully in view. That is, I get some sense of who he is, but the story could be richer if he were more fully drawn. I know that he’s an indecisive person who’s not sure where he’s going or what he should be doing in life, but I’d like his uncertainly to be more distinctive. While uncertainty is universal to all of us, the particulars of our uncertainties are always completely unique to each of us.
We get a little character nuance with his name choice—“Gabriel” has interesting connotations—and when he uses the word “faggot.” This word suggests a variety of things, but nothing conclusive. (Is he a bigot? Does he only use a word like that when he’s being kind of irreverent or irritated? Is he political and socially conservative, or has he just been listening to too much shock radio?) Which is fine—though it would help if that detail could dovetail with other particulars to give a good, complex, and full sense of the person.
Prose Style
For the most part, really nice. Very readable, lucid, competent, seemingly effortless.