Bowles/Borden
Creative Editing Online Exercises
Chapter 5: Editing Stories
1) Supply the missing numbers in this exercise. Use the style outlined in Chapter 3 to express your answers unless your instructor directs you to use a different style guide.
a. The number of faculty members increased from 752 in 1991 to 767 in 1992, an increase of ______percent.
b. The number of students receiving scholarships was 1,520 last year, as compared with 1,432 this year, a decrease of ______percent.
c. During his career, the coach has had a record of 405 wins and 110 losses, a win/loss ratio of ______to ______.
d. The United Way campaign has raised $136,000, ______[fraction] of its goal of $185,000.
e. The number of companies contributing to the United Way campaign increased ______percent, from 67 last year to 82 this year.
f. He deposited $3,260. At an annual interest rate of 6.4 percent, his deposit will earn ______during the next 12 months, giving him a total of $______.
g. The grade distribution this term for freshmen at the university was 157 A's, 203 B's, 436 C's, 179 D's and 124 F's. The percentage of freshmen making A's was ______; B's, ______; C's, ______; D's, ______and F's, ______.
h. The monthly subscription rate for cable television went from $11.95 for basic service to $13.97, an increase of ______percent.
i. Among football players at the university who had been in school for four years, four of 18 graduated last year and three of 20 graduated this year, a decrease of ______percentage points.
j. Census data indicate that 578 women in the county said they had been sexually assaulted last year, but the number of sexual assaults reported to all law enforcement units in the county was 265, indicating that ______[fraction] of the alleged sexual assaults went unreported to police agencies.
k. Here are the mill levies for three taxing units: city, 42.2; county, 32.5; school district, 75.7. Property is assessed at 8.6 percent of market value. The owner of a house with a market value of $70,000 would pay property taxes on an assessed value of $______for a total of $______. The city would receive $______, the county would receive $______, and $______would go to the school district.
2) Edit this story. Be on the lookout for errors in numbers as well as grammar, punctuation, spelling and style.
The state Bureau of Investigation released crime statistics yesterday which cover the first six months of 1999. According to those statistics, crime in the state dropped 5.7 per cent during the first six months of 1999 from the same period during the previous year but 9.2% more rapes were reported.
Violent crimes (murder, rape, robbery, aggravated assault) decreased over all 3.6% from the first half of 1998. Property crimes, including burglary, larceny, motor-vehicle theft and arson dipped 5.7%.
Crime bureau statistics that were released yesterday indicate violent and property crimes in the state dropped for the tenth consecutive quarter. Rape is the only violent crime on the upswing in the last 5 quarters bureau director J. A. Kelly said.
Among violent crimes, rapes (at least those reported) increased from 276 in the first half of 1998 to 304 during the comparable period in 1999.
Homicides showed the biggest drop at 47.6%. 62 murders were recorded in the first half of 1998 but only 42 murders through June of 1999.
Robbery dropped 16.1 per cent while aggravated assault was up less than one per cent.
Arson was down 12.5% with 392 cases reported in the first half of 1999, compared with 441 in 1998.
The most frequent crime committed was larceny, with 31,756 cases reported during the first half of 1999.
3) Edit the following sentences to eliminate redundancies:
a. The humane society director said she would postpone her decision about computer identification for pets until later.
b. The car skidded a total distance of 100 feet before the driver managed to resume control.
c. College students sometimes think editing exercises are totally unnecessary and the answers are patently obvious.
d. When we break camp, we must promise to assemble our lively little group together again next summer.
e. At 6 a.m. Monday morning, the networks broadcast the first news reports that Prince would begin a national tour in the fall.
f. The decision to increase funding for education became clear after the mayor asked the council for a consensus of opinion.
g. Suddenly the lawyers began to argue over whether the testimony referred back to the original crime or to the pretrial hearing.
h. The freshness of the spring rain still remains, although each and every cloud has disappeared from the morning sky.
i. A happy song advises that if you fall down, you should pick yourself up and start all over again.
j. The football player said he wouldn't turn pro at the present time but might consider the option next year.
4) Combine each pair of sentences into one sentence. Make certain each new sentence has the same meaning as the original sentences.
a. Music shouted from a stereo. Music drifted out to the dark garden and quiet street.
b. Brownies had been baked. Brownies had been stacked high on paper plates.
c. An awkward couple lazed to the center of the floor. An awkward couple disappeared in a clump of bodies starting to dance.
d. The soft drink seeped into the carpet. The soft drink dried to a sticky patch on the floorboards.
e. The sound of a ringing telephone cut through the blend of music and voices. The sound of a ringing telephone continued and continued until someone picked up the receiver.
5) In hard-news stories, reporters try to make their leads as simple and as short as possible. Some of the following leads contain unnecessary attribution, redundancies, opinions of the reporter, excess wordage, unimportant quotations, too many statistics or imprecise information. Tighten the following leads:
a. Blue-collar rocker Bruce Springsteen won three American Music Awards Monday for his 18-month-old Born in the USA album, and nine other artists or groups won two awards each at ceremonies that ended with a stirring anniversary salute to "We Are the World."
b. The space shuttle Challenger's solid-fuel rockets were not equipped with sensors that could have warned of trouble because designers thought the boosters were "not susceptible to failure," William Graham, acting administrator of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration, said Tuesday.
c. A 14-year-old boy fired three shots into a third-floor apartment at 91 Monmouth St. Wednesday to climax an argument with a 39-year-old mother who had defended her 9-year-old daughter against an attack by the boy.
d. Four French and two Canadian women have started a ski trek from Norway's Spitsbergen Island about 690 miles across the Arctic, aiming to reach the North Pole by Jan. 1, the Norwegian NRK television reported Thursday.
e. A federal grand jury indicted former Philippine President Ferdinand Marcos and his wife, Imelda, Friday in a racketeering case that includes charges they embezzled more than $100 million from the Philippine government and used the money to buy millions of dollars' worth of New York real estate.