Counseling Through Play: Understanding the Language of Children

Counseling Through Play: Understanding the Language of Children

What is Play Counseling?

Play counseling is a counseling intervention that involves the use of play to communicate with children and to help children learn to solve problems and change their negative behaviors. Play is the language of children and toys are their words.

Play is the main way children…

• Learn about the world
• Understand how things work
• Express thoughts and feelings
• Develop physical, mental and social skills

How is Play Therapeutic?

Play therapy creates a safe environment where children can express themselves, try out new things, and work through their problems. The play sessions allow children the opportunity to explore and open up more than usual.

When we as adults handle a tough problem, we think about it for a while, look at it from different angles, and talk it over with someone we trust. Children do the same thing through play. They are provided with the tools (toys and activities) and the atmosphere to express themselves, work on problems, “try on”different solutions, and learn better coping skills.

Play Counseling in Schools

School counselors, especially at the elementary levels, are using play counseling increasingly to help students overcome their obstacles to learning. One of the main reasons for this is the efficiency and effectiveness of this way of counseling.

Play counseling involves the systematic use of play methods by a trained counselor to help students to perform closer to optimal levels at school. Play counseling in schools is used to…

• Communicate with students
• Help students build a variety of skills
• Improve students’ adjustment to school
• Improve peer relationships
• Prevent bullying, violence, and other serious problems
• Remove emotional and behavioral obstacles to learning

What Happens in Play Therapy?

Generally, the play therapist takes children into a room of carefully selected toys. Toys are chosen to help children express a variety of feelings and problems. The therapist allows the child to choose toys and the way in which they want to play with them. The therapist pays close attention to the child’s actions and feelings and reflects this to the child. Sometimes the therapist engages in imaginary play at the child’s request.

Limits are set if the child’s behavior causes harm to the toys, the therapist, or himself. The therapist is trained to interpret the meaning of the child’s play and, therefore, be able to discuss the underlying causes of the problems with parents and help the child to come up with more effective coping skills.

How Do I Talk To My Child About Play Therapy?

Parents often wonder what to tell children about coming to see the counselor for play therapy. You can say that he/she will be coming to be with MissElyse in her special office every week where there are lots of toys to play with. If your child asks why she is going to the playroom, you can say something like, “Things sometimes don’t go well for you at home (or school) and sometimes it helps to have a special time just for yourself.”

After play therapy sessions, if you were to ask your child what he/she did, the likely response would be, “I played” just like for adults in counseling to say that they just talked. Both experiences are important but children sometimes are unaware that something important has happened during the play therapy sessions. At times it is easier for children to explore feelings, especially fear and anger, with someone objective (someone not involved in the issue) rather than with parents and teachers. So, it is best to avoid questioning your child about what she did, what happened, or if the session was fun. The sessions in the room are special and private for children. They should not be required to give a full report to any adult.

Just like counseling sessions for adults, play therapy sessions are confidential. Therefore, only general impressions and suggestions will be offered but not specifics of what your child says or does in the play room.

Sometimes, children will bring home a painting or drawing. Praising the painting (ex. “That’s pretty” or “That looks great”) may make your child feel she should make other paintings for you. A more helpful response might be to simply comment about what you see such as “You used lots of colors” or “I see some blue and green.” Avoid reprimanding children for getting paint, markers, or sand on their clothes. It is all washable.

For more information contact:

Counseling Through

Play