COMMON WRITING ERRORS
Embedding Quotes
original
The theme for this story seems to be that no matter how much money you possess, it can’t save you. “When his dominions were half-depopulated, he summoned to his presence a thousand hale and lighthearted friends from among the knights and dames of his court” (Poe 83). This supports the theme by showing that this prince’s kingdom was plagued by death and destruction, but he felt as though he were invincible.
revised
The theme for this story is that no matter how much money a person possesses, money is no savior in the end. In the story, “when his dominions were half-depopulated,” the prince “summoned to his presence a thousand hale and lighthearted friends from among the knights and dames of his court” (Poe 83). The prince’s intention was to hide himself along with the wealthy of the land in his castle in order to escape death. The setting shows that the kingdom was plagued by death and destruction, but the prince felt as though he were invincible.
Thesis Statements
original
There are 3 examples of stories, straight out of the literature book, that show the impact of setting in literature, and these stories will be the main focus of points of the paper.
revised
Three classic stories by Edgar Allan Poe, Ray Bradbury, and W.W. Jacobs effectively show the impact of setting on theme in literature.
- Last sentence of the introduction
- Lets the reader know what the paper will be about
- Informs the reader on your stance or position in a persuasive paper
- Sometimes, thesis statements may make use of a three point argument, but this is not necessary and is usually considered to be writing that is less sophisticated and elementary.
Block Quotes and Embedding Quotes
original
Poe starts by describing an old prince’s mansion. “It was a voluptuous scene, that masquerade. But first let me tell of the rooms in which it was held. There were seven – an imperial suite. In many palaces, however, such suites form a long and straight vista, while the folding doors slide back nearly to the walls on either hand, so that the view of the whole extent is scarcely impeded” (Poe 83). This quote really makes the reader see the castle and the seven rooms throughout that represent death.
Revised with a block quote
Poe starts by describing the masquerade ball and the prince’s mansion.
It was a voluptuous scene, that masquerade. But first let me tell of the rooms in which it was held. There were seven – an imperial suite. In many palaces, however, such suites form a long and straight vista, while the folding doors slide back nearly to the walls on either hand, so that the view of the whole extent is scarcely impeded. (Poe 83)
Poe’s description helps the reader see how the castle and the seven rooms throughout represent death because each room is symbolic of a phase of life. Poe’s imagery allows the reader to experience the long walk through the mansion that ultimately ends in the seventh room. By the time the reader comes to this final room, he or she realizes that death may await.
OR
Revised using ellipses to signify missing words
Poe starts by describing the masquerade ball and the prince’s mansion as “a voluptuous scene” (83). He describes the rooms as being “seven – an imperial suite,” where “in many palaces…such suites form a long and straight vista…so that the view of the whole extent is scarcely impeded” (83). Poe’s description helps the reader see how the castle and the seven rooms throughout represent death because each room is symbolic of a phase of life. Poe’s imagery allows the reader to experience the long walk through the mansion that ultimately ends in the seventh room. By the time the reader comes to this final room, he or she realizes that death may await.
Clarify the Speaker
original
In Ecology of a Cracker Childhood, the condition that Janisse Ray grew up in helps you realize that she was thankful for what she had. “What I’ve come from has made me who I am” (Ray 33).
revised
In Ecology of a Cracker Childhood, Janisse Ray writes about her upbringing. She states, “What I’ve come from has made me who I am,” which lets the reader know that she is thankful for what she had (33).
PLEASE REMEMBER:
Titles of shorter works are enclosed in quotation marks.
“The Masque of the Red Death” – short story
“Salutation” by Ezra Pound - poem
Titles of longer works are italicized (if typing) or underlined (if handwriting).
Ecology of a Cracker Childhood - novel
Romeo and Juliet– play
Use of 1st and 2nd person
original
When reading the story, we understand what it is like to live in a junkyard. You experience the problems that Ray experienced as you read along with the author.
revised
When reading the novel, the reader is able to understand what it is like to live in a junkyard. Ray uses imagery and language effectively so that the reader feels immersed in Ray’s experiences.
Referring to the Author
You will initially refer to the author by his or her full name, but afterwards refer to the author by last name.
example:
Janisse Ray grew up living in a junkyard in Baxley, GA. Throughout her life, Ray knew what it was like to be poor.