Circular Geometry’s Peanut Cheese Bars

So the notion of the preferred snack of Saturn Valley, Peanut Cheese Bars, has been an idea that has baffled me since I was a young lad just playing Earthbound on the Super Nintendo. Well, in honor of the Fanfest, I decided to use my culinary prowess to combine the power of peanuts with the…well cheesiness of cheese. Boing! Zoom! Enjoy!

Ingredients:

16 oz Cream Cheese

8 oz Cool Whip

2 cups of Graham Crackers, Crushed

2 cups Peanuts, Lightly Salted

2 3.4 oz Boxes Instant Vanilla Pudding Mix

4 cups Whole Milk

2 1/3 Cups Creamy Peanut Butter

1 9x13 inch baking pan

1 cup Powdered Sugar

4 Tablespoons Granulated Sugar

½ cup Smart Balance Oil (Hey, we need to keep this semi-healthy! Besides, we are preparing these for Mr. Saturn and not Master Belch)

3 Tablespoons Delisauce

1 Hat-Ness (for added awesomeness)

Preparation

Step 1: Pre-heat your oven to 350 degrees. Take your graham crackers and mix them together with the oil and granulated sugar. Pack the mixture densely into the baking pan. Place pan in oven for 10 minutes and then allow the graham cracker crust to cool completely.

Step 2: In a bowl, place cream cheese and Cool Whip. Using a rubber spatula or other mixing apparatus, fold the mixture together until they combine completely. In another bowl, mix together the Instant Pudding mix with the milk. Whisk for 2 minutes and then allow the pudding to set for 4 minutes. Add Delisauce, the ultimate condiment, into your pudding. If you have used up your Delisauce on Rock Candy, then substitute the following:

1 Tablespoon Cinnamon

1 Tablespoon Nutmeg

1 Tablespoon Allspice

After adding your spices, mix in the peanut butter to the pudding. Stir with a spoon until the mixture becomes creamy and the peanut butter is mixed in completely.

Step 3: Pour your cream cheese mixture over the graham cracker crust. Use a butter knife to evenly spread the mixture across the pan. If you get any graham cracker that pulls up and mixes in with the cream cheese, don’t become like this: . This will happen and will not affect your bars, so all hope is not lost!

Step 4: Pour the peanut butter pudding mixture over the cream cheese layer and spread evenly. Place in the fridge for a few hours to allow everything to set.

Step 5: Watch infomercial with the Team Fortress 2 Scout (you know the one) and obtain a Slap Chop. Place peanuts into plastic holder and finely chop the nuts.

Step 6: Sprinkle the chopped peanuts over the bars evenly. Then, cut the mixture into bar sized portions. We are almost ready for a Saturn Valley treat!

Step 7: Place a bar onto a plate. Grab a fork, and dig in! Wearing the Hat-Ness has been proven to increase your eating experience by 300%.

The real question is…how do they taste? Well, after some intensive research and honest statistics given by Liar X. Agerate, I can safely say they are amazing. However, what did the masses have to say about the bars?

Kid tested, vid approved. Thanks Starmen.net and happy cooking!