Christian Faith 103: Stewardship

Stewardship: Lesson Eighteen

“And Those are the ones on whom seed was sown on the good soil; And they

hear the Word and accept it and bear fruit, thirty, sixty, and a hundred fold.”

Mark 4:20 (NASB)

Discipleship 103

Stewardship

Part Two—Principles To Experience

Financial Freedom

Lesson Eighteen

Using Your Power to Make Wise

Financial Decisions

ProvidenceBaptistChurch

Charles E. Nesbitt, Jr., Pastor/Teacher

Please note that the lessons on “Stewardship” are adapted from Financial Freedom: Seven Secrets To Reduce Financial Worry, Ray Linder, Chicago: Moody Press, 1999.

Ongratulations!

You Have 95 % Successfully Completed

The Stewardship Course!

Always pray for God’s presence, blessing, wisdom, and guidance in the Spirit every time you are making a financial decision to spend His money entrusted in your care, and when you are experiencing financial turmoil.

Always glorify God for the blessing He gave you through praising Him, and sharing your testimony with others as you are led by the Holy Spirit. Always remember, not every one will receive your praise report in a positive Christian attitude. This is why you have to ask the Holy Spirit for assistance in the persons you share your testimony.

In the power of the Holy Spirit, read and meditate on Matthew 6:24-34 & 1 Timothy 6:17-20a before you make a financial decision with the money God entrusted in your care, and to experience peace when you are experiencing financial turmoil.

And remember this secret to reduce financial worry: Good stewards consider relationships in their decision-making. Therefore, good stewardship is a matter of how you solve financial problems in the context of relationships with God and spouse, orGood and significant other, or God and roommate, or God (if you are single).

Stewardship: Lesson Eighteen

Now, each person in this class, reflect on how this course has transformed your understanding and practice of stewardship. Share one major transformation you have experienced that will have a lasting impact on your relationship with God and stewardship over all the resources He has entrusted in your care.

Write Reflection Notes Here

Stewardship: Lesson Eighteen

This part of the lesson is directed to married & single persons who are changing their financial lifestyle to become good stewards over the finances God has entrusted in their care. Please note that the lesson is based on biblical principles. Therefore, the “point of what is covered in this lesson is not to debate the theological correctness of male headship, but to present what a model of effective male headship looks like (Linder, 165).”

The Proper Use Of Male Authority: To Honor AWoman’s Position In The Relationship, and To Use Finances In Favor Of Her Interests.
The Bible is the “authoritative law” on how “male authority” is to be exercised in the context of a marital/familialrelationship. Listed below is what the Bible states clearly. Please read each passage and take notes as you are instructed by your teacher.

A man is to be a good steward over the finances God entrusted in his care to acknowledge the woman’s/family’s position of honor.

(1)Ephesians 5:25: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

What does “love as Christ loved the church mean?

Unless a clear biblical principle could be knowingly violated in a marital decision, the husband must give himself up for his wife.

(2)Philippians 2:3-5: A husband’s attitude in the care of his wife and her interests should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.

What does “husband must regard her interests with the same attitude as Christ Jesus?

The husband’s regard for his wife’s interest must be “one of service.” That is, “if a husband wants his wife to exercise her power on his behalf, he must “first” and “consistently” do the same for her! (Linder, 166)” When a husband treats his wife with the biblical principles of honor, she will gladly yield to his ultimate authority (Eph. 5:22.25; Col. 3:18; 1 Peter 3:1). The result and reality is thathis wife “will not be threatened by her lack of final authority when it is wisely used on her behalf (Linder 166).”

(3)1 Corinthians 13:4-5: Love . . . is not self-seeking.

(4)Romans 12:9-10: Love is sincere, and the husband and wife are devoted to one another in “brotherly love.”

What does husband and wire are devoted to one another in “brotherly love” means?

“The “brotherly love” commanded in Romans 12:10 refers to the Greek word “Philadelphia”, which is a ‘fellowship love requiring enjoyable interaction through comradeship and communication. Both man and wife should demonstrate “philadelphia” to each other, working together to make mutually satisfactory decisions. But husbands are also “commanded” to have “agape”, the self-sacrificing love for others that shows ‘an ever-present concern for the beloved’s [wife’s and family’s] highest good. Five times in the New Testament husbands are commanded to “agape” their wives (Linder 165-166):

(1)Husbands, love your wives (Eph. 5:25).

(2)Husbands ought to love their wives (Eph. 5:28).

(3)He who loves his wife loves himself. (Eph. 5:28).

(4)Each one of you also must love his wife (Eph. 5:33).

(5)Husbands,love your wives (Col. 3:19).

Husbands Must Know“Seven Important Facts” About Their Wives

Scripture makes it very clear that husbands are to be sensitive and seek to understand their wives (1 Peter 3:7). The Apostle Peter teaches husbands the following:

(1)Husbands need to have an intelligent, intimate, perceptive knowledge of their wives.

(2)Husbands need to know their wives desires and needs.

(3)Husbands need to know how to meet their wives desires and needs.

(4)Husbands need to know what will make their wives feel loved.

(5)Husbands need to know how to do the very best for their wives on a consistent basis.

(6)Husbands need to know how to use financial matters in the best interest of their wives.

(7)Husbands need to know their wives personality type, temperament type, and money-spending style to make financial decisions corporately.

Husbands Must Understand The “Six Emotional Needs” of Their Wives

John Gray, in his book titled “Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars”, reported from his research findings that men and women differ in their emotional needs. Based on Gray’s findings and conclusions, Linder adapted them to explain what men should know about women’s primary six needs, using biblical principles.

(1)First Need: Caring—Primary Concern is for his wife’s overall well-being.

Money is relational for a woman, because money is the opportunity for the husband to demonstrate that he cares about her and the family.
Men and women view money in a marriage differently. Money is used to purchase a new home may mean investment, cash flow, tax breaks, new appliances, and maintenance cost for the husband. However, the wife will regard the purchase of the home as a place of rest and security, stability, and our own. When a couple goes to purchase a car, the wife will view the car as comfortable for the children; where as, the husband will view the same purchase as a leisure and/or cost-effective accomplishment.

(2)Second Need: Understanding—Affirm his wife’s expression of feelings.

Women sometimes exaggerate and generalize in the expression of their feelings. Therefore, a husband must not mistakenly take these expressions literally, and should inquire about his wife’s specific intention.
Husbands must understand that their relational world view is expressed through problem solving; however, their wives world view is relational.
Husband must understand that men ask direct questions and expect direct answers; where as, women think several questions ahead and expect answers to each question.

(3)Third Need: R-e-s-p-e-c-t—Honor your wife by holding her inhigh regard.

Acknowledge her rights, wishes, dreams, needs and interests.
If the marriage is dual-income, value her income as equally important to the welfare of the household.
If the wife works-at-home, communicate that her contributions to the household are equally important and valued.

(4)Fourth Need: Devotion—Invest in your wife’s priorities

Don’t forget gifts for special occasions: birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day, etc.). Ask for specific gifts she would love.
No not use spending money to make up your lack of care, concern and personal involvement with your wife.
Do activities with your wife that is important to her, because this communicates that you are dedicated to her.
Do not take a “Type A” vacation: Spend 95% of time doing work from the job and allocate only 1-2 hours to devote to her leisure needs. Do not take the beeper, cell phones, laptop computer from the job.
Take a “Type B” vacation where you spend quality leisure time with her having fun and relaxation.

(5)Fifth Need: Validation—Validate her opinions; don’t debate them. That is, Don’t debate—validate!

Don’t subordinate her views to your forceful, coercive, logical male point of view.
Don’t use facts based on prices, research, warranty, safety, reliability, and affordability to prove you are a “know-it-all” and she is a “know-nothing.”
Let her know that she has a right equal to yours, even if you disagree with it. You know the old saying: “Agree to disagree with respect for each other’s point of view.”
Know that companionship is more important correctness.

(6)Sixth Need: Reassurance—Confidently reassure her contribution to the family’s financial stewardship.

Reassure on a consistent basis her financial stewardship in the family.
Affirm that she is more important than the budget, retirement plans, investments, and tax reduction strategies.

Accept that both husband and wife “keep score” of small acts, big dividends.

Why are men from Mars?

(1)Both men and women keep scores by tracking when they have been wronged in a relationship, and what special things have been done on their behalf. Therefore . . .

Don’t assume you score higher when you buy an expensive gift, and lower points when you purchase a smaller gift, such as flowers or cards. Each gift is important to a woman when it is expressed in agape love.

(2)Men make the mistake to think money can buy happiness.

Don’t assume she desires gifts to make up for your lack of attention shown to her and/or the children.

For Discussion

What information you learned about males’ authority in a marriage do you agree and/or disagree with? Explain why.

How has the information you learned transformed your “biblical understanding” of a husband’s authority in marriage?

If you are a husband, what changes do you need to make in “self,” so your male authority is divinely aligned with biblical principles of a husband’s responsibilities to his wife and/or family?

If you are a single male, how has this lesson formed your biblical understanding of a male’s authority in a marriage?

What changes do you need to make in “self” so that when you get married, your stewardship of love and care for your wife is divinely aligned with the Word of God?

Stewardship: Lesson Eighteen

Once again . . .this part of the lesson is directed to both married & single persons who are changing their financial lifestyle to become good stewards over the finances God has entrusted in their care. Please note that the lesson is based on sound biblical principles. Therefore, the “point of what is covered in this lesson is not to debate the theological correctness of female authority, but to present what a model of effective femaleauthority looks like (Linder, 165).”

The Scripture gives the directive that wives are to “submit to your husband, as is fitting in the Lord (Col. 3:18).”

Wives should not have difficulty submitting to the authority of their husbands who meet their needs based on biblical principles. However, the term “submission” is often highly debated by women. Why? Some women find the term to be insensitive and offensive, if they have intergenerational history where husbands have misinterpreted the term “submission” to mean they have all authority from God to abuse and to neglect their wives’ emotional, financial, and relational needs.

Six traits women should know about their husbands, for these traits represent women trying to submit to and elevate their husbands they respect.

(1)First Need: Trust—Depend on your husband’s character, abilities, and strengths as a equal provider of the family’s financial stewardship needs.

Consistently reassure your husband that you depend on him to care for you and the family.
The more you make your husband feel trusted in his stewardship abilities, the more he is likely to show you how much he cares about you and the family.

(2)Second need: Acceptance—Willingly receive and have a favorably response to your husband’s thoughts, wishes, and personality preferences.

As long as your husband is not violating clear biblical principles, allow him to hold and carry out his unique desires without protest or negative reaction. Accepting them does not mean you agree; rather, it means that you are showing respect for his opinion and his personality preference for his money-spending style that is gender-specific (e.g., taking a vacation when you want to buy furniture, saving for retirement when you want to spend the money on a present desire for self and the family).

(3)Third Need: Appreciation—Verbally acknowledge how much you love your husband.

Men are “doers” who hate to feel that their hard earned money is being wasted or used unwisely. Let him know how the money is spent on his loved ones.
Appreciated husbands are more readily to demonstrate affectionate care for their wives financial and emotional needs and desires.
Give your husband time to understand and show you special acts of devotion by verbalizing them to him. Don’t tell him after he doesn’t meet your specific needs and/or desires. This keeps you from “keeping scores” of your disappointments in him.

(4)Fourth Need: Admiration—Husbands need to be highly honored and esteemed by their wives.

Money from employment is often central to a man’s ego, identity, and self worth. Therefore, admire him for his employment accomplishments (i.e., promotion, raises, etc.). Give him a celebration dinner with you and/or the children or allow him to choose how to celebrate is vocational accomplishment. Adults want reinforcement for their accomplishments just life children.
A husband without his wife’s appreciation and esteem is more likely to seek it by spending time making money or spending the money unwisely.

(5)Fifth Need: Approval—Husbands want their acts of good stewardship to be recognized by their wives.

Focus on the good he does rather than only the bad things brought up for discussion.
Verbally acknowledge through thanksgiving and praise when he does well.
The more you approve his actions, the more he will reciprocate by validating your feelings.

(6)Sixth Need: Encouragement—Reassure consistently that he is trusted, accepted, appreciated, admired, and approved.

Believe and accept that this is how husbands receive and view their wives: She is a helper, according to Genesis 2:18.
Wives, affirm your helper status by inspiring your husband with courage, good spirits, and hope. He will return the encouragement to continually appreciate you.

Stewardship: Lesson Eighteen

For Discussion

What information you learned about females’ authority in a marriage do you agree and/or disagree with? Explain why.

How has the information you learned transformed your “biblical understanding” of a wife’s authority in marriage?

If you are a wife, what changes do you need to make in “self,” so your female authority is divinely aligned with biblical principles of a wife’s responsibilities to her husband and/or family?

If you are a single female, how has this lesson formed your biblical understanding of a female’s authority in a marriage?

What changes do you need to make in “self” so that when you get married, your stewardship of love and care for your husband is divinely aligned with the Word of God?

Stewardship: Lesson Eighteen

Listed below are seven ways a husband and a wife can honor each other as good financial stewards.

Be a Team: Share involvement in managing all household and marital needs financially, emotionally, and spiritually.
Practice “my income is our income” to make joint decisions how to spend money wisely.
Create a monthly and annual spread sheet of financial expenditures. Then, agree on how to spend the money to meet all stewardship needs.
Define Success: Make clear and realistic stewardship goals annually. Address the following in writing your stewardship goals:
What could you have done differently last year to avoid financial turmoil?
What can you do better to save money?
What will it take to reach your annual goals?
How can both of you share in the success of meeting your annual goals?
How should you plan for future retirement, children’s education, annual vacation, monthly recreational activities, etc.?
Have a Golden Rule Mentality: Do for your spouse what you wish to be done for you.
Satisfy your spouse by showing care for him/her and not just your own.
Learn and negotiate with your spouse’s personality type, temperament type, and money-spending style in mind.
Practice consistently the six important things husbands must know about their wives and that wives should understand about their husbands.

Plan Together for Big Changes: Major/Small Raise or Bonus, or Unexpected Unemployment.

Come together as a team to consider how to spend the money, if a raise or bonus.
Assess whether your savings can pay off a loan and/or credits cards until the spouse regains employment, if one spouse is laid off.
Communicate, Communicate, Communicate: Sit down and discuss how you are spending the money bi-weekly or monthly.
Create harmony and team work to avoid financial distress by purchasing financial software to log expenditures. This allows both of you to have access to the software to input individual expenditures.
Discuss peacefully expenditures that are not included in your annual or monthly budget.
Pray: Pray about financial matters.

Don’t just pray about obtaining more money. Pray about not having a “bad attitude.”
Pray for God’s leading and guidance in financial goals and how to spend money He entrusted in both of your care as an act of good stewardship.
Pray that God shapes your relationship for His glory, since money is always relational.