Life Lessons

from

Chicken Noodle Soup

Fall 2012

Hi everyone!
We’ve put together this book for you that summarizeswhat we discussed in Chicken Noodle Soup. We hope this is something you’ll keep on your bookshelf or in your memory box to remember our time together this past fall. Our goal was to get to know all of you and to create a safe, open environment for you to discuss issues that matter to you. We hope you have learned about taking care of your body and mind, and appreciating yourself and those around you.
Inside, we have our thoughts and advice on nutrition, body image and self-esteem, mental health, and healthy relationships. We hope that whenever you or someone you know is struggling with one of these issues, you’ll refer to this book for guidance.
Best wishes!

Jen and Katie

Nutrition

Eating healthfully should be a big-picture goal. The overall quality of your diet is what’s important, not whether or not you ate two pieces of cake yesterday or a banana today. You don’t have to starve or deprive yourself to eat well, and small improvements in your diet can make a big difference.

Eating a variety of food matters

Try to eat a balanced diet, with something from each of the major food groups (fruits, vegetables, grains, proteins, and dairy) every day. Eating only dessert is not good, but neither is eating only vegetables. The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) has created the following graphic to illustrate how these different food groups should fit into your diet.

And there’s nothing wrong with enjoying “empty calories” – foods with added sugars and fats – as long as you eat them in moderation.

Portion Control

One of the easiest things to do to eat more healthfully is to limit your portion sizes of less healthy foods. Nutrition facts are usually based on much smaller portions than people actually consume. Trying measuring out the recommended serving of cereal or chips sometime – you’ll be surprised by how much smaller it is than you thought!

Things to consider when you make food choices:

The good:

  • Protein and fiber will help you stay full longer.
  • Natural sugars,such as those found in fruit, are better choices than added sugars found in many processed foods.
  • Choose whole grains! Think wheat bread or brown rice instead of white bread or white rice. Oatmeal is a better choice than sugary, processed cereals.
  • Polyunsaturated and monosaturated fats, like those found in nuts, are the “good” fats that you should eat in moderate quantities.

The not so good:

  • Avoid saturated and trans fats.
  • Long ingredient lists. If you can’t pronounce it, it’s probably not good for you.
  • Anything artificial. Choose foods with natural ingredients rather than artificial ones, which are essentially made from chemicals.

Be wary of how much sugar is in foods we commonly eat, even “healthy” foods

Here’s how many sugar cubes worth of sugar go into some common foods:

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1 cup of apple juice

1 serving of granola

1 serving of Golden Grahams

6 oz. of vanilla yogurt

1 pack of fruit snacks

1 serving of Chex cereal

1 can of Coca-Cola

2 Pop-Tarts

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Here are some tips for reading nutrition labels:

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Body Image and Self-Esteem

Self-esteem and identity are often tied to our relationships with our bodies, particularly our body images. With media and peers emphasizing one type of beauty, you may sometimes be tempted to believe that anything that does not conform to that image is not beautiful. However, you should remember that everyone defines beauty differently and, ultimately, what matters the most is that you are comfortable with your own body.

What is Beauty?

The physical features that define beauty vary by culture. Current American society may value skinny women, but throughout history other cultures have emphasized other characteristics.

Some of the Ndbele people of Zimbabwe and the Kayan people ofMyanmar wear neck rings from a young age to extend their necks. In these cultures, long necks are considered beautiful.

The white Moor Arab population of Mauritania traditionally considered

fat wives to be a sign of wealth, but they have now become ideals of beauty.

Long necks and obese women do not conform to contemporary American standards of beauty, but these cases demonstrate that each culture defines beauty differently.

Body image is related to physical health, but it doesn’t determine your health.

Bodies advertised as “beautiful” may conform to a culture’s definition of beauty, but they aren’t necessarily healthy. In fact, healthy bodies come in many shapes and you can’t determine health by simply looking at your body shape.

Health depends on:

  • BMI (body mass index) which determines whether or not you are a healthy weight based on your age and height
  • A varied, nutritious diet
  • Exercising about 5 times a week
  • Regular sleep cycle, about 7 hours a night
  • Abstaining from unhealthy habits such as smoking, drug use, and excessive alcohol consumption
  • Mental and emotional health

Of course, even these standards of health have faults. BMI, for example, doesn’t take into account body fat, so athletes who are specimens of health may be mislabeled as “overweight,” because muscle weighs more than fat. Regardless, health is holistic and by following the above guidelines, you can maintain it.

Beauty isn’t skin-deep

The only definition of beauty that matters is your own. Cultural standards of physical beauty may vary, but you control your relationship with your own body and passing fads or trends can’t change that.

Focus on non-physical beauty:

  • Unique personality
  • Personal values
  • Treating others with respect and kindness

Once you embrace your internal beauty, you can improve your relationship with your body. Others will recognize your confidence, how you hold yourself in public and in private, and see your beauty.

“Phenomenal Woman” by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Our poem:

My personality glows

with phoenix. Flying fearlessly

above is my past…That’s

bygones gone

Away nightmares bye. Challenges my

willpower to empathy. So therefore

watch me fly high!

Mental Health

One of the toughest parts of being a teenager is maintaining mental and emotional health. Whether you’re struggling to balance schoolwork with other obligations or coping with issues at home, it’s important to keep a level head and deal with each stress in a healthy manner.

Containing vs. Suppressing Emotions

Though it may be tempting to release all of your emotions in a stressful situation, you may say something that you will regret. Instead, you should contain your emotions and release them in healthy outlets. However, while containing emotions is healthy, suppressing them is not.

Consequences of suppressing emotions:

  • Your pent-up feelings may suddenly be triggered and released at a bad time
  • You may turn to unhealthy outlets such as drug and alcohol abuse
  • You may hurt your loved ones by refusing to share your feelings with them
  • You don’t deal with the actual problem
  • You are unhappy and stressed out because you carry emotional baggage

Benefits of containing emotions:

  • You prevent yourself from saying or doing something that you would later regret
  • You have the time to calm down and collect your thoughts before approaching the other person to open a new conversation
  • You show the other person respect and maturity, and will be treated the same way
  • You address the actual problem in a thoughtful manner at a time you choose
  • You open communication with your loved ones rather than push them away
  • You can release your emotions in a healthy manner such as through exercise or relaxation techniques

Healthy Outlets for Emotion

People may sometimes turn to drugs or alcohol to cope with their emotions, but this is a dangerous, unsustainable lifestyle that will hurt you and your loved ones. Instead, incorporate healthy habits into your life.

Healthy Lifestyle Habits:

  • Balance school and fun
  • Think of stress as a motivation to work harder rather than as an obstacle
  • Exercise or find a sport your enjoy to channel your emotions
  • Eat a varied, nutritious diet
  • Find a hobby—you can make new friends and have personal time to collect your thoughts
  • Get involved with community service

Though you may feel like you have control of a situation at the beginning, it’s easy to suddenly lose control. Always ask for help if you feel like you’re in over your head.

Relaxation and Stress-Management Techniques:

  • Find a quiet corner of your room or a nearby park and meditate
  • Clear your mind of any distractions, shut your eyes, and let your mind drift
  • Sit in your room and imagine your happy place
  • Light the same kind of incense or scented candle, or play the same calming songs
  • Shut your eyes and imagine a happy place in graphic detail
  • Whenever you feel stressed or out of control, you can go to your corner and you’ll begin to associate calming down with that smell, sound, and happy place
  • Keep a memory box of happy moments of your life such as birthday cards, photos, and ticket stubs
  • Whenever you’re upset or feel lost, you can go through your box to cheer up
  • Write an angry letter specifically listing everything that’s upsetting you and rip it up
  • Be sure to immediately destroy this letter to avoid upsetting others and further complicating the situation
  • Write a list of the top ten sources of anger and stress in your life
  • Circle those that can be eliminated and write an action plan
  • This allows you to deal with the sources of your problems rather than your general feelings
  • Carry a small token at all times and hold it when you feel upset or you sense a mood swing beginning to keep you grounded
  • Choose something with weight and sentimental value, such as a ring

Healthy Relationships

Relationships come in many forms – family relationships, peer relationships, romantic relationships. Your role in each of these relationships is slightly different, yet there are many common themes that link fulfilling interactions with different kinds of people.

Open communication from both ends is vital.

  • If something is bothering you, tell the other person, respectfully. The other person should feel comfortable enough to do the same.
  • Serious discussion needs to be in a quiet, open environment with no distractions.
  • Maintaining eye contact lets the other person know that you are listening and that you respect what they say.
  • Use reasonable voices. It’s easy, and natural, to raise your voice when you get agitated, but a yelling match is never as productive as a calm, thoughtful discussion. You are more likely to say something unkind or unjust that you will regret if you raise your voice.
  • Don’t cut each other off. You may not like, or agree with, what the other person has to say, but they deserve to voice their opinion. Remember: conversation is two-sided.

Be open to compromise, but understand that your role in the compromise differs depending on the type of relationship.

  • In a peer-to-peer relationship, each of you should be on equal footing.
  • In a relationship with an older family member, understand and respect that you may have to defer to their decision.

A major goal in any type of relationship should be to establish trust.

Is your relationship healthy?

Think about what a healthy relationship means to you, what it should look like, sound like, and feel like.

Examples:

Look like: Smiles vs. physical abuse

Sound like: Laughter and respectful conversation vs. yelling and grudging silence

Feel like: Happy and comfortable vs. stressful and defensive

The hardest part is applying these ideas to your life to determine whether or not your relationship is healthy or good for you. We tend to be blinded by thoughts of what our relationship could be, because it’s difficult to look objectively at something in which we are so emotionally involved. One good rule of thumb: Pay attention to your gut feeling. Ask yourself, does this feel right? Am I happy? Do I feel respected? If something inside of you is telling you no, listen to it.

Family relationships, especially between a teenager and a parent, can be difficult. You’re trying to balance the authority of your parent with your own desire for independence, and the all-too-common assumption by teenagers (we all do it) that you know exactly what’s best for yourself.

An activity to think about how to improve your familial relationships:

  • Write a hypothetical letter to someone you’d like to have a better relationship with, or even just make a list. In the letter/list, describe three things the other person does or says that bothers you, and three things that you do or say that bothers the other person.
  • Describe what your relationship with this person would ideally be.
  • What are some changes that you could make to improve the quality of your relationship?

You can share this letter with the other person, or just use it as a way to reflect. Just acknowledging the difficulties in a relationship and recognizing that these difficulties are usually not one-sided, can help you figure out changes you can make. You can make small goals for yourself, such as “I will talk calmly instead of yelling when my mom does or says something that bothers me.”

A final thought: Healthy relationships take work, but they are well worth the effort.

Resources

If you ever feel like you’re in over your head, never hesitate to reach out to an adult, a teacher or counselor at school, or one of the resources below.

In CT, dial 2-1-1 for:

  • Counseling
  • Mental health clinics
  • Eating disorders
  • Alcohol treatment
  • Substance abuse treatment
  • LGBT support

CT Domestic Abuse
1-888-774-2900
CT Sexual Assault
1-888-999-5545
Planned Parenthood
1-203-503-0450

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255

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