Small Group Guide

“Brokenness, Beauty, and the Redemption of Marriage”

Mark 10:1-12

Message Summary

In Mark 10:1-12, we find the most extensive statement that Jesus makes on the most vital human relationship on earth - the marriage relationship. Keeping in mind that every passage in Scripture is truthful, hopeful, and helpful, we see:

1.)Broken Things (Vv. 1-4): The tone of this passage is shaped by the Pharisees’ sinister attempt to trap Jesus in a hotly debated topic and demonstrates their low view of marriage. In a way, this is beneficial for us because sin and brokenness is the necessary backdrop for all honest discussion about marriage this side of the Fall. In the discussion between Jesus and the Pharisees, we are reminded that there is a difference between what Scripture describes, what Scripture regulates (but doesn’t necessarily encourage), and what Scripture positively commands. The Pharisees, who had lost this distinction, were using Scripture to justify divorce based on a self-serving understanding of Deuteronomy 24.

2.)A Beautiful Design (Vv. 5-12): However, Jesus does not leave the conversation in the shadow of brokenness but, instead, shifts to God’s design for marriage that is evident in creation. In creation, we see man and woman created to reflect God’s glory. We see two individuals who become one flesh in a marriage relationship that is distinguished from all other relationships in its all-inclusive scope. We see that marriage is not a product of human culture (and therefore not subject to cultural experimentation). It is a sacred gift from God. Therefore, God defines marriage and how it ought to be enjoyed.

3.)The Blessed Redeemer: For those struggling through hard times in marriage or who have been hurt by divorce, the picture of marriage in Genesis 2 can be a crushing reminder of how our lives aren’t like God’s initial design. However, when we consider Who is speaking the words in Mark 10 and when He is speaking them (just before He goes to the cross for us), we remember the gospel. We remember that He gave Himself, so He could be the perfect husband to His bride, the church. He gives us life and a relationship with Him, and He is the only hope for our earthly relationships and our marriages.

Discussion & Application Questions

After briefly reviewing the message summary, use these questions to further examine the sermon and to discuss how these truths apply to daily life, so we can “be doers of the word, and not hearers only” (Jas. 1:22). Based on your knowledge of the people in your small group, select the questions that will best help you frame the group’s discussion of this sermon and sermon text.

BROKEN THINGS

  1. Why is it important that the conversation about marriage in Mark 10 begins in a place of brokenness?
  2. What is the difference between what Scripture describes, what Scripture regulates (but doesn’t encourage), and what Scripture positively commands?
  3. What are some areas of life where we can tend to search for what Scripture allows as opposed to what it commands? What does that tendency tell us about our hearts?
  4. Application: Are there areas of your life where you know you are holding on to sinful disobedience? How can you repent and pursue holiness in this area? How can the group help you?
  5. How does the Pharisees’ attitude towards theological controversy reveal their heart towards personal obedience?
  6. Where do you see the Pharisees showing a low view of marriage and ignorance towards the pain of divorce by their comments?
  7. Application:Are there friends, family, or coworkers in your life struggling through broken marriage relationships or divorce? How can you encourage them this week?
  8. How does our culture view divorce?
  9. Application: When you are at work or talking with the neighbors, do you engage if approached with gossip concerning strained marriage relationships or spouse bashing sessions? How can you speak truth and love into these situations and encourage others to show compassion?

A BEAUTIFUL DESIGN

  1. Why does Jesus bring the topic of conversation back to creation? How can showing others God’s design as it compares to a reality of brokenness open the door for gospel conversations?
  2. What is God’s design for marriage, gender, and sexuality? Why don’t we have a right as humans to change His definitions of each of these three things?
  3. How does seeing God’s design for our relationship with one another and, ultimately, with Him cause us to long for eternity? How should a right understanding of the design for our relationships shape them here and now on earth?
  4. Describe the all-inclusive nature of being “one flesh.” How does our culture react to this idea?
  5. Singles can often identify with Adam when God said it was not good for man to be alone. How can the truth of God’s goodness and the reminder of His sovereignty work to provide comfort and joy in the face of loneliness?
  6. Application:For those who are married, where do you see an opportunity for growth in intimacy and in self-sacrificial love in your marriage? How can you pursue that this week?
  7. Application:For those who are married, where have you found it hardest to be of one mind and one flesh in your marriage recently? What steps can you take to glorify God by taking steps to reconcile these issues?
  8. How does the marriage relationship reflect the relationship of God in the Trinity? How does it reflect the relationship between Christ and the church?

THE BLESSED REDEEMER

  1. How does the context of Jesus soon going to the cross shape how we view this passage?
  2. What does Christ’s ultimate sacrifice for His bride teach us about our own marriages and relationships?
  3. Application: How can we find hope in Christ in the midst of breaking or already broken marriages or if you have an unbelieving spouse?
  4. Application: How can we find joy today in our relationship with Christ if we have been devastated by earthly relationships or by the lack of earthly relationships?
  5. How can your marriage be a gospel witness to those around you?

SO BROOK HILLS…LET’S PRAISE THE WISDOM OF GOD’S WORD, LET’S BEAR ONE ANOTHER’S BURDENS, LET’S REMEMBER THE GOSPEL!

  1. How has the world experimented with the gift of marriage? How do we uphold a high view of marriage in the eyes of the world?
  2. Application: What passages of Scripture can you lean on to give a defense for what the Bible teaches about marriage and what it points to?
  3. As singles, what does it look like to honor marriage when you aren’t married? How can you do this? Why is this important?
  4. Application: As singles in the church, how can you come alongside the families of the church? What options are open to you through your singleness to minister to your church family?
  5. Application: If you are seasoned in marriage, have you considered partnering with a willing younger couple? Could you help to give advice and speak truth and wisdom in love to them as they begin life together? What would it look like to take a next step to do this?
  6. How does our brokenness in relationships drive us to Christ? How does His relationship with His bride provide hope for the future with Him in eternity and joy as we live in His grace today?

Things to Consider

If you have people in your group who did not hear the sermon, read the sermon text (Mark 10:1-12) together and briefly summarize the main points of the sermon. Recapping the sermon text and sermon outline can also be a helpful way to start the group, even if everyone did hear the sermon.

Already, but not yet. This is a concept we as believers wrestle with on a daily basis. We know we are a new creation in Christ, yet we still deal with a sinful remnant of the old flesh. We know that, through Christ, we are now sons and daughters of our heavenly Father and members of the ultimate spiritual family in the Kingdom of God. Yet we still deal with imperfect relationships in our families and in our churches. It is easy to see the tension that exists when we consider that God is making all things new, but they aren’t all completely new yet. A passage like Mark 10 is full of that tension. In the Pharisees, we see our own tendency to misuse and abuse relationships God has given us for our own selfish desires. We even see our own tendency to try and justify those actions, sometimes even by twisting Scripture. We cringe when we see the Pharisees cruelly overlook the pain of divorce when talking about it like a business transaction or legal document to be signed. Then we see what marriage was created to be, and we see that our own experiences with marriage and family don’t measure up. Each member of your group has experienced pain caused by broken relationships, so as we discuss marriage and divorce, try to do so while being sensitive to your group and what their needs are in this area.

For example, if you lead a group of singles, it would be easy to discuss marriage and divorce like a sports play-by-play announcer, examining the action and providing weak insight while staying high above the field and away from actively engaging in what is going on. Singles can already tend to feel this way when it comes to engaging families in the church. Try to use this discussion to foster a heart of engagement in the life of the church family, as opposed to the isolation they may already feel. How does this passage offer truth, hope, and help to singles?

For those in your group who are struggling through hard times in their marriage or who have been or who are going through the devastation of divorce, encouragement and prayer are desperately needed! Spend some time gathering around each other (if they’ll permit it) and praying for one another. You’ll want to focus on questions such as, “How does the gospel bring hope in the midst of this pain and loss?” Or “What does the relationship between Christ and His bride really say about my relationship with God?” Or “How can I really feel loved by my Father when my spouse could not even love me?” These are hard questions, but it can be very helpful to acknowledge them and to discuss them. This may occur within group or as a follow-up outside of group time. Pray for wisdom for yourself and for the group as you can engage in this weighty topic of divorce and our brokenness.

Weekly Prayer Focus

Pray for Our Church:

  • Pray for God to receive the praises of all peoples.
  • Ask God to grow our love and concern for unreached peoples.
  • Pray for their hearts to be softened to the gospel, and for God to call out more to join in the work of reaching all peoples for the gospel.
  • Pray for churches to be planted and grown among unreached people groups here in our city, in our country, and around the world.

Pray for Our City:

  • Pray for our passion and sacrifice for missions to be evident locally, beginning right where we live, and for God to be pleased to bless the efforts invested in Rock the Block this year.
  • Pray each Rock the Block site would have complete, equipped, and enthusiastic teams ready to pour out Biblical wisdom and Christ-like love to their neighbors.
  • Pray for the 5,000 or more boys and girls who attend Rock the Blocks this summer, through both local and national sites, to hear a clear and powerful presentation of the gospel. By God’s grace, may the hearing be met with genuine saving faith.
  • Pray for hundreds of Gospel conversations to result from these new neighbor-to-neighbor connections.
  • Pray for our very first ESL rock the block, June 19-22, made up of families who have participated in our ESL Ministry this year. Pray for these international families to hear and respond to the Good News.

Pray for Our World:

  • Pray for Daniel and Cadie as they serve and lead our Church Planting team in Detroit. Pray for God to continue to open doors for gospel-sharing and for their team to be winsome in their efforts to share Christ.
  • Pray for culturally sensitive outreach this week among their Muslim friends as Muslims in the Detroit area celebrate Ramadan.
  • Pray for the Word of the Lord to speed ahead and be honored among the Muslim communities in Detroit, and for receptive hearts towards the gospel.
  • Pray for the students who come to ESL classes where Cadie teaches, that God would save those who are hearing the gospel through Cadie’s influence.
  • Pray for Daniel and Cadie’s Muslim friends to realize their inability to meet the demands of God’s perfect law. Pray for them to ask Daniel and Cadie about Christ.

The Church at Brook Hills “Brokenness, Beauty, and the Redemption of Marriage,” June 4, 2017| Page 1