DRAFT of Benjamin’ Books LFLibrary in Prescott, Wisconsin
by: Helen Crary Stassen and Jay Stassen – “Mom and Dad”
November 19, 2011
Our Tragic Loss
Our story has a tragic beginning. Our 21 year old son, Benjamin, took his own life on October 22, 2010. Benjamin was a handsome young man, a junior in college, a neat,tidy,well organized person. He was a solid B student in college and had a part time job where he never missed a day of work. He was also quiet, reserved and private which probably contributed to his decision to not tell us he was struggling. We did not know or understand the extent of his inner personal pain.
His death left us reeling. No parent is ever prepared to face the death of a child and Benjamin’s death by suicide delivered an additional complex and overwhelming pain on top of our loss. Simply put, our lives were shattered and forever changed; nothing is the same. Weare searching for a way forward and struggling to find our new path. The Little Free Library that we dedicated to Benjamin was a step forward for us and working with LittleFreeLibrary.org has been a positive experiencethat has provided somemuch-needed joy.
A Memorial for Benjamin
Wanting to remember Benjamin and wishing to carry his spirit forward,we have looked for positive ways to honor his life. Helen’s family hasdonated a park benchto the city of Saint Paul in his name –a wonderful and powerful memorial. We love to spend time at the bench. However, as his parents we wanted to “do” something more in Benjamin’s name. The first anniversary of Benjamin’s death was approaching and we were thinking about a significant way to mark the anniversary. A college friend named Mary forwarded an article to us about Little Free Library.org and asked if we knew about it – Helen is a librarian so Mary knew we would be interested. We didn’t know anything about LFLibraries, butwhen we looked at the web site and read more about the goals of the organization, we immediately knew that this would be a wonderful memorial for Benjamin. He was such a reader.
Little Free Library allowed us to customize the library nameplate, the message about our son,and the placement of the library. The decision to start the LFLibrary was not difficult; however we had to decide where to place it. Helen kept coming back to Freedom Park in Prescott, Wisconsin at the Great River Visitors Center as the first choice. The breathtaking setting and the easy access to the park facilities allowing many people to see and use the library and the proximity to our home a few miles away all made Freedom Park a fantastic location.
Getting permission to place the library in the park went very smoothly. A neighbor who is on the board of the Great River Road Visitors Center was very helpful and arranged a meeting with the Executive Director and Board Chair. We told them about Benjamin and the concept behind the LFLibrary. They immediately liked our idea and gave us wonderful support!
A Helping Hand from Todd
With the permission of the Board Chair and Executive Director in hand, we sent an email to Todd Bol about establishing a memorial library to be named “Benjamin’s Books.”
Todd Bol is an awesome man who has been fantastic to work withfrom the start. Todd and Rick Brooks are sharing their dream and concept of small, free community libraries with the world thus offering everyone a simple way to also make a positive statement. We chose to have our little library honor the memory of our dear son Benjamin and share the joy of reading with the entire community. We are delighted to have such a positive vehicle to do so. That thereare so many different design themes with endless ways of marketingindividual libraries to sharebooks with your community is the genius of the program!
The day the Library arrived and we felt energized and uplifted. (expand this paragraphand add photos and describe the process) Todd and Susan were gracious and we enjoyed ourtime with them installing the library in the park. (Margaret Smith has been outstanding to work with too).
How the Library Helps Us and Others
Being a tiny part of the LFLibrary program has been healing for us. We enjoy each time we stop at the library and see that the books on the shelf have changed and noting what other users have provided for someone else to read. We have found comfort in sharing our LFLibrary story with our family and special friends who have supported us during our most difficult days. Those conversations have become positive discussions about Benjamin and what the library stands for. There have been some articles about our donation of the library published in community newspapers. We have enjoyed the experience and the satisfaction of watching this concept become a reality. Getting a library installed in honor of Benjamin and seeing the community share free books have been lovely markers in our journey through the toughest year of our lives.
[Add info and details on the mental health LFLibrary to be established in Eau Claire – that Benjamin had been a college student at UWEC for two years]
We drive past Freedom Park on our way to work and school every day and each time we look down the road and actually see the library there under the lights and at the intersection of the paths that lead to the butterfly garden, the Mississippi River overlooks, the Visitors Center and to the picnic tables for everyone to use and we know that Benjamin also has a special place there to enjoy and be remembered! We think we got the best setting possible for our Little Free Library.
The LFLibrary Website adds to the depth of our enjoyment since we are apart of something bigger than our sadness. It’s enjoyableto watch the continuous updates and changes that are described on the LFLibrary site. Plus being “on the map” allows people to locate it too.
Conclusion
(photo of the nameplate on the library) The simple but loving message about Benjaminon the library nameplate keeps him present in our lives and the community and that feels sweet. Thank you,Todd and Rick!