1

BAR BAT

MITZVAH

Handbook

1

BAR/BAT MITZVAH HANDBOOK

TABLE OF CONTENTS

  1. Introductionpage 1
  1. Time Line for B’nai Mitzvah Preparationpage 2
  1. Staff Responsibilitiespage 3
  1. Overview of Bar/Bat Mitzvah Trainingpage 4
  1. Instructional Materials and Study Timepage 5
  1. Administrative Procedurespage 6
  1. Bar/Bat MitzvahRequirements andPreparation

A.Your Childpage 6

B.You, the Parentspage 7

C.Decorumpage 7

D.Special Needs and Other Issuespage 8

  1. Fees page 9
  1. Bar/Bat Mitzvah Service Procedure

A.Times of the Servicespage 9

B.Student’s Role in Servicespage 10

C.The Servicepage 10

D.Presentation of Congregational Giftspage 12

  1. Hospitality

A.Let’s Celebratepage 13

B.Friday Evening Shabbatpage 13

C.Shabbat Morningpage 13

D.Ballroom Celebrationspage 14

Appendix IGlossary of Termspage 15

Appendix IIHonors Form for Shabbat Morningpage 17

Appendix IIIHonors Form for Shabbat Afternoonpage 20

Appendix IVThe Mitzvah Projectpage 22

Appendix VFee Schedulepage 24

Appendix VIAdath Israel Catering Contactspage 25

Appendix VIIExtra Menu Itemspage 27

Appendix VIIIAdath Israel Judaica Gift Shoppage 28

1

I. INTRODUCTION

 Mazal Tov. You are entering into a wonderful and exciting period of Jewish education and celebration – the  Bar/Bat Mitzvah of your child. All of us at Adath Israel wish to help make the religious ceremony of your child’s upcoming  Bar or Bat Mitzvah a meaningful and memorable experience for your child, your family and our entire congregation!

Historically, when a boy turned 13 he was called to the  Torah at a public worship service to mark his coming of age in the Jewish religion. The child was considered an adult in the Jewish community and afforded all the rights, privileges and responsibilities of any member of the community. At Adath Israel, an egalitarian Conservative synagogue affiliated with the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, that tradition has been preserved and extended to all young persons. The  Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony, usually part of the Congregation’s regular  Shabbat morning service, invites each young person to participate in a way that demonstrates his or her skills and abilities to function as an adult member of the Jewish community.

At Adath Israel we seek to create an environment of becoming  Bar/Bat Mitzvah in which every family will understand the child’s responsibilities and privileges within the Jewish tradition. Your child will develop fluency in the skills and customs needed to participate in an adult prayer service and connect with community, family, friends, Jewish tradition and God.

To this end, we will arrange a series of meetings, programs and activities at the synagogue prior to the ceremony. First, there is Putting God on the Guest List. This is the title of a wonderful book about  Bar/Bat Mitzvah and is also the title of meetings conducted by our Rabbi in which parents explore the spiritual significance of this Simcha for the whole family. In addition, we will be introducing family education experiences in Hey Class year (5th grade) andVavClass year (6th Grade) designed to explore Jewish living and identity. Then, to acquaint you with the Shabbat morning service, and to answer any questions you may have, there is a session with representatives from the Ritual Committee approximately six months prior to your Simhahcalled the “Bar/Bat Mitzvah Information Meeting” to which you will receive an invitation. We also urge your family to attend  ShabbatServices regularly. This will help everyone feel more comfortable with the service on the day of your Simhah.

Finally, services at Adath Israel are for all of our congregants. We want our children not only to feel that they are part of a communitybut part of the whole Jewish people. As such, it is not unusual for Aufrufs (calling a bride and groom for an Aliyah), baby namings, recognition of anniversaries, birthdays or yahrtzeits, or blessings for individuals traveling to Israel to be part of a  Shabbat Service in addition to B’nai Mitzvah.

We look forward to seeing you at the synagogue and hope we can contribute to the beauty and significance of this milestone in your family’s life.

 Mazal Tov!

Your Adath Israel Family

II. TIME LINE FOR B’NAI MITZVAH PREPARATION

4th gradeAssignment of Bar/Bat Mitzvah date. Contact the Executive Director if you wish to reserve the facility for your celebration.

5th gradeParticipate in family education experience; students learn Torah tropes; Hebrew reading proficiency test given.

6th gradeReview of Torah tropes; tallit, tefillin and kippah significance and use; participate in family education experience; parents of the  Bar/Bat Mitzvahparticipate in “Putting God on the Guest List” seminars. Discuss Mitzvah Project with the Education Director.

Check Adath Israel Website for updates: Click on House of Learning;

Bar and Bat Mitzvah for the link to the Handbook

9-10 monthsCantor assigns the B’nai Mitzvah teacher. Begin the 8 Shabbat service attendance requirement.

8 monthsBegin weekly tutoring sessions. Begin theMitzvahProject. (For early fallBar/Bat Mitzvahdates, the tutoring may begin 10 months prior.)

6 monthsParents attend the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Information Meeting with representatives from the Ritual Committee.

Midway inStudent meets with Cantor to review progress.

Tutoring

3-4 monthsFamily meets with Rabbi; D’var Torah preparation begins. Make sure that all financial obligations to the synagogue are met.

2-3 weeksStudent meets with Cantor for rehearsal. Make photography appointments and reservations with the rabbi assistant.Photographs cannot be taken during religious school hours.

2 weeksSubmit Honors Forms (Appendix II or III) to the rabbi assistant.

Day of…Mazal Tov it is time to shep nahes and celebrate!

III. STAFF RESPONSIBILITIES

Responsibilities for the preparation of  Bar/Bat Mitzvahare as follows:

Rabbi Eric YanoffAssists the student in preparing the D’var Torah (a

610-934-1918 thought of  Torah) with the Bar/Bat

Mitzvah; meets with the family;facilitates “Putting God on the

Guest List” meetings

Susan NeidichSchedules initial meeting between Rabbi Yanoff and the family;

Rabbi Assistantcollects the Honors Form; schedules Bar/Bat Mitzvah

610-934-1906photographers

Sherrie Rosenberg KleinCoordinates andadministers theB’nai Mitzvah

Education Director program; plans and coordinates family learning experiences and

610-934-1912manages students’ mitzvah projects.

Cantor Bernard LoweAssigns B’nai Mitzvah teachers; supervises

610-934-1919B’nai Mitzvah teachers; coordinates the preparation of students for  – Bar/Bat Mitzvah and conducts rehearsals of studentson the Bimah.

B’naiTeach the blessings before and after the  – Torah and  –

Mitzvah TeachersHaftarahreadings; the Torahand Haftarah readings; andthe service.

Lori DafilouArranges for use of facilities; arranges food for Oneg Shabbat and Executive Director Kiddush;discusses fees and finances.

610-934-1903

Ritual Committee Explains the various aspects of religious services and parents’ participation; conducts Bar/Bat Mitzvah Information Meetings, works with family members who want to read Torah at your child’s  Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

IV. OVERVIEW OF BAR/BAT MITZVAH TRAINING

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah is not a competition, test or performance. It is meant to be a meaningful religious experience for your family and for the congregation. Students are encouraged to do the best they can without comparing themselves to other children. Our goal is that your child does as much as his or her own motivation and capabilities permit. We want each student to have a positive Jewish experience. The joy, happiness and pride of becoming a  Bar/Bat Mitzvah are their own reward.

During the DaletClass year (4th grade) the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Date Assignment Committee will assign - Bar/Bat Mitzvah dates. Every attempt will be made to assign a Shabbat morning within the six (6) weeks following the child’s Hebrew Calendar birth date.

InHeyClass(5th grade), students will receive weekly, in-class instruction on how to chant Torah tropes (musical cantillation). Students will also take a Hebrew proficiency test. Students who need extra help will be provided with remedial work prior to and in conjunction with their Bar/Bat Mitzvah training.

At the beginning of the - VavClass year (6th grade), students will receive in-class review of Torah tropes. Also during the - VavClass year, your child will study the significance and meaning of Tallit,Tefillin and Kippah. As part of the curriculum boys and girls are encouraged to acquire their own-Tallit and set of Tefillin so they can learn to observe these mitzvot. Students will have the opportunity to use the prayer skills they learn by leading parts of our Shabbat Junior Congregation Service.

Approximately nine to ten months prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, the Cantor will notify you of who will be your child’s B’nai Mitzvah teacher. Students will begin their individual  Bar/Bat Mitzvah training within one month of being notified ofwho is their teacher. Students will receive approximately 30 private half-hour lessons. During this time, the student will apply his/her general knowledge of Hebrew and trope (musical cantillation) to his or her individual  Torah and Haftarahportions. In addition, they will review  Torah and Haftarah blessings and other portions of the  Shabbat services.

If you decide to engage an “outside” B’nai Mitzvah teacher (one who has not been assigned by the Cantor) this teacher will not be considered a replacement or substitute for an Adath Israel  B’nai Mitzvah teacher. If you decide to hire such a supplemental teacher, you will still be responsible for paying the tutoring fees charged to each B’nai Mitzvah family and your child is still required to meet weekly with his or her assigned B’nai Mitzvah teacher.

One of the requirements for a child to become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is to complete a Mitzvah Project.In 6th Grade, the Education Director will contact you and your child to discuss an appropriate Mitzvah Project.The Education Director has a reference book of sample projects, and will meet with you and your child to find a project that is meaningful. The Education Director is availableduring this period to answer any questions you may have about your child’s Mitzvah Project.

Two to three months before the  Bar/Bat Mitzvah date, your child will be contacted by the Rabbi in order to begin preparing a D’var Torah which contains interpretations of and ideas from the  Torah and/orHaftarah portions. Your child will meet with the Rabbi for three (3) half-hour to 45 minute sessions to learn about the Parsha of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah and to create a D’var Torah. Those students with early fall  B’nai Mitzvah dates will begin their preparation with the Rabbi in May or June.

Approximately midway through the B’nai Mitzvah tutoring process, your child will meet with the Cantor to review the material learned to that point and to plan the training goals for the remainder of the  B’nai Mitzvah program. Finally, during the two-week period immediately preceding the  Bar/Bat Mitzvah, your child will meet again with the Cantor for a complete “run through” of the service.

V. INSTRUCTIONAL MATERIALS AND STUDY TIME

During the lessons with his or her  B’nai Mitzvah teacher, your child will receive his or her study materials. These materials include the Haftarah, its blessings, the Maftir Torah reading (or sometimes an alternate Torah reading), and the Torahaliyah blessings. Your child will also receive a copy of the trope sheet, and a CD containing his or her various readings, as well as theKiddush for the evening of  - Shabbatand additional aliyot if desired.Your child will have the opportunity to first learn the Torah reading and then proceed to the Haftarah reading. Your child will also receive a CD of prayer services if and when he or she is ready for them. These materials will be used throughout your child’s training and should be kept in a folder and brought to the lessons. There will be a charge for materials that need to be replaced. We recommend that students study the Blessings, theHaftarah and Torah portions, and the  - Tefillot, for approximately 30 minutes a day at least five days per week. Students who review all materials on a regular basis will better remember what they learn.

VI. ADMINISTRATIVE PROCEDURES

The  B’nai Mitzvah training schedule follows the Religious School Calendar and the arrangements made with the  B’nai Mitzvah teacher. If ReligiousSchool is closed because of a secular or a religious holiday, or inclement weather, then there will be no Bar or Bat Mitzvah lesson (unless students are told otherwise by the teacher). In the winter, parents should listen to the radio for cancellation of ReligiousSchool classes. Our code number is 439. If a student cannot attend a class or lesson for any reason, please call his or her Bar/Bat Mitzvah teacher. Since the  B’nai Mitzvah teacher has set aside special time for your child, try to avoid cancellations except in emergency circumstances.Likewise, please avoid tardy arrivals so there is sufficient time for learning and preparation. Your child’s attendance and progress are carefully monitored by the Cantor.  B’nai Mitzvah instruction will not be scheduled during ReligiousSchool hours.

There may be occasions when the Rabbi and/or Cantor are not available to lead a Bar/Bat Mitzvahservice. Please be assured that in this unusual situation, appropriate arrangements for clergy for your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvahwill be made by the Rabbi and/or the Cantor.

VII.  BAR/BAT MITZVAH REQUIREMENTSANDPREPARATION

Please take the time to familiarize yourself with the following requirements:

A.Your Child:

Must have attended and satisfied the requirements for ReligiousSchool or be enrolled in a Jewish Day School.

Must attend sessions for  B’nai Mitzvah training in addition to class time.

Is required to attend eight (8) Shabbat services that coincide with his or her Bar/Bat Mitzvah service (Shabbat morning or Minhah Ma’ariv and Havdallah services) at Adath Israel as he or she begins his or her  B’nai Mitzvah training,which is approximately 8-10 months before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. An attendance box is located on the Bimah near the bimah steps. When your child moves his/her card to the front of the box, his or her attendance will be counted and recorded after Shabbat.

Regular attendance at services will allow a greater comfort level with the words, melodies, structure and flow of our services for you and your child as he or she prepares to lead the congregation at his or her  Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Only students who actively prepare to join Adath Israel’s adult Jewish community and meet the religious school and service attendance requirements will earn the privilege ofteaching the Congregation through the presentation of a D’var Torah.

  • Is required to be engaged in an ongoing Mitzvah Project of community service during the Bar/Bat Mitzvah year. In the Vav Class year (6th Grade), students and their families should begin to think about and plan for a Mitzvah Project. The Education Director will help you select a Mitzvah Project.

B.You the Parents:

Are encouraged to attend  - Shabbat evening and morning and/or MinhahMa'arivand Havdalahservices with your child. You will be contacted by the Ritual Committee to serve as an usher at a service prior to your child’s  Bar/Bat Mitzvah date.

●Are encouraged to attend the family education experiences in HeyClass year (5th grade) andVavClass year (6th grade).

●Are encouraged to attend the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Information meeting(or make equivalent arrangements with a Ritual committee representative). You will receive notification of the dates and time of this meeting which generally occur in the fall and spring of each year.

Are encouraged to adequately prepare the Torah Blessingsand theShehehiyanu Blessing you will be chanting.

C.Decorum:

We want to provide a warm and welcoming experience for your guests who will be visitors to Adath Israel during your Simcha.Proper decorum in the synagogue includes paying attention to the service and avoiding unnecessary conversation or moving in and out of the Sanctuary which may distract people from their prayers. It is sometimes challenging for all of us when the behavior of young adults becomes disturbing to others. A tactful discussion with the parents of your child’s friends about appropriate synagogue behavior before your Simchamight be helpful. During ShabbatMorning Services, the Torah Service begins at approximately 9:45 a.m. and the Morning Service concludes at approximately 12:00 noon.

“Business attire” is considered appropriate for synagogue. ForShabbatafternoon Minhah services (where evening attire may be typical), girls are expected to wear modest clothing while on the Bimah and change following Havdallah. At a minimum, girls and women’s shoulders should be covered and hemlines should be of an appropriate length, and modesty should be observed. Tuxedos are not suitable attire for a  - Bar Mitzvah boy during the service. According to the Rabbi’s discretion, a robe may be provided to a Bar or Bat Mitzvah who is inappropriately dressed.

D.Special Needs and Other Issues:

Adath Israel is a fully accessible facility. Guests who require wheelchairs or other mobility aids may enter the synagogue through the Tuttleman Chapel entrance. In addition, the elevator, large print siddurim(prayer books) and other assistance is available.A mechanical lift is available for people who are not able to use stairs in order to ascend to theBimah.

You have the option of providing your own personalized welcome supplement to explain the  Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony for your guests, though it is not required.If you choose to do so, you must submit a draft of your text at least two weeks prior to your event to the Rabbi for review and approval before it is printed.