Assessment Commentary

In Task 3: Assessing Student Learning, you will write a commentary, responding to the prompts below. Your commentary should be no more than 10 single-spaced pages, including the prompts. Attach the assessment used to evaluate student performance (no more than 5 additional pages) and, if necessary, a transcription of inaudible portions of a video or audio clip of feedback or a work sample (no more than 2 additional pages) to the end of the Assessment Commentary. These additional pages do not count toward the commentary page limit noted above.

  1. Analyzing Student Learning
  1. Identify the specific learning objectives and standards measured by the assessment you chose for analysis.
  • The assessment that I chose for my class was a retelling paragraph of the story of the week, America’s Champion Swimmer. Students were given a graphic organizer to organize their thoughts before they wrote a paragraph retelling the events of the story in sequential order. Each student was given a copy of the directions and a rubric in order to clarify any misunderstandings. The following are the directions that each student received:
  • Top line: The title and author of the story (put your name and number at the bottom)
  • Write an introductorysentence that gives the main idea of what the story is all about.
  • The following sentences must include the events of the story in sequential order and remember to include signal words. (3 to 4 sentences)
  • Remember to include the most important details that would change the outcome of the story.
  • Write a concluding sentence to why the swimmer’s life was important to all women.
  • Draw an illustration that goes along with the paragraph. You can use crayons and/or colored pencils only. Glue your paragraph to a piece of construction paper and glue these directions on the back of your project.
  • The specific learning objective for this assessment:
  • After reading the story of the week, TSW write a paragraph that retells the events of a story in sequential order using key details to support the main idea with 80% accuracy.
  • The standard that is aligned with this assessment:
  • CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.RI.3.2 Determine the main idea of a text; recount the key details and explain how they support the main idea.
  • The assessment selected for analysis connects with both the learning objectives and standards used in this learning segment. The assessment requires students to demonstrate knowledge of the central focus by creating a sequencing paragraphthat retells the story America’s Champion Swimmer. Specifically, the students engage in recalling the actions or events of the main character, and key details of the story in sequential order to facilitate retelling of the story. The students use a graphic organizer to guide their writing of a sequencing paragraphthat retells the story with accuracy.
  1. Provide a graphic (table or chart) or narrative that summarizes student learning for your whole class. Be sure to summarize student learning for all evaluation criteria submitted in Task 3, Part D.

Student / Sequence / Main Idea / Important Ideas/Details / Conclusion / Use of
conventions
(spelling,
grammar,
capitalization,
punctuation) / Total score for this assessment
1 / 4 / 4 / 4 / 4 / 4 / 20/20
2 / 4 / 1 / 3 / 3 / 4 / 15/20
3 / 4 / 3 / 3 / 3 / 3 / 16/20
4 / 4 / 4 / 4 / 3 / 4 / 19/20
5 / 4 / 4 / 4 / 4 / 4 / 20/20
6 / 4 / 3 / 3 / 3 / 3 / 16/20
7 / 4 / 3 / 4 / 4 / 4 / 19/20
8 / 4 / 4 / 4 / 4 / 4 / 20/20
9 / 3 / 3 / 3 / 3 / 2 / 14/20
10 / 4 / 4 / 4 / 1 / 3 / 16/20
11 / 4 / 3 / 3 / 3 / 4 / 17/20
12 / 4 / 1 / 3 / 1 / 2 / 11/20
14 / 4 / 1 / 3 / 3 / 3 / 14/20
15 / 4 / 1 / 3 / 1 / 2 / 11/20
16 / 3 / 3 / 3 / 2 / 1 / 12/20
17 / 4 / 1 / 2 / 1 / 4 / 12/20
18 / 4 / 4 / 4 / 1 / 4 / 17/20
19 / 4 / 1 / 4 / 1 / 4 / 14/20
20 / 3 / 3 / 3 / 1 / 2 / 12/20

Mastery= 16-20 Grade equivalent 80%-100%

Partial Mastery= 15-13 Grade equivalent 65%-75%

Non-Mastery= below 12 Grade equivalent 60% and below

  • I had 10 students who mastered the objective, 4 students who partially mastered the objective and 5 who did not master the objective. Even though only a little over half the class mastered the objective, I feel that the majority of the students did demonstrate an understanding of how to sequence the events in a text. The graph above shows that every student received at least a 3 in the category of sequencing. The only reason that students received a 3 in the sequencing category is because they did not use signal words. The assessment required the students to write a paragraph that retold the events of the swimmer’s life in sequential order and use key details to support the main idea of the story. The entire class was able to tell the events of the story in sequential order but the problems were identifying key details that support the main idea.
  • Where I noticed the students struggled is when they did not clearly state the main idea of the story and/or did not clearly state the importance of the swimmer’s life.As the graph shows, the main idea category is where 6 of my students received a score of 1, mainly due to the students not including an introductory sentence that stated the main idea. Another section where students struggled was providing a concluding sentence that stated the importance of the swimmer’s life to all women. The graph shows that 7 of my students scored a 1 and another only received a 2. The students, who did not master or only partially mastered the objective, either did not clearly give an introductory sentence that told what the story was mostly about or did not include an introductory sentence. Also, these students did not provide a concluding sentence that told why the swimmer’s life was important to all women. Even these students, however, demonstrated at least a partial understanding of the concept of sequencing events and using signal words to do so.
  1. Use evidence found in the 3 student work samples and the whole class summary to analyze the patterns of learning for the whole class and differences for groups or individual learners relative to
  • the essential literacy strategy
  • requisite skills
  • The essential literacy strategy for this learning segment is retell.
  • Requisite skills for the learning segment are identifying main idea of a text, identifying key details that support the main idea, conventions of writing (spelling, grammar, capitalization, and punctuation), and writing a complete paragraph that includes an introductory and concluding sentence.
  • When looking at the work samples, Student 1 did a superb job on the assessment. This student was able to retell the events of the story in sequential order (essential literacy strategy). Student 1’s paragraph included the most important details of the story that supported the main idea of the story (requisite skills). Student 1 provided accurate information about the events and used key vocabulary throughout her paragraph. Student 1 began the retelling paragraph with an introductory sentence that clearly described the main idea of the story. Student 1 wrote,” Trudy made a difference that girls can do anything.” Student 1 used signal words in the writing that demonstrates her understanding of the sequence of the story and how to retell the story. After her introductory sentence, she wrote, “First, Trudy almost drowned at the age seven.” This sentence clearly states one of the most important details of the story that supports the main idea of the story. This student understands that even though the story tells the reader when the swimmer was born, the more important event in the story is when she almost drowned. Student 1 continues the paragraph with the most important details of the story and concludes with this statement, “She changed women’s lives by swimming across the channel and showing everyone that girls can do anything.” This sentence not only concludes the paragraph beautifully but Student 1 does a great job of expressing how the accomplishments of the swimmer changed women’s lives. Student 1 demonstrated a complete understanding of retelling a story and supporting the main idea with key details. (both essential literacy strategy and the requisite skills)
  • When looking at the sample work of Student 2, overall Student 2 was able to retell the events of the swimmer’s life in sequential order (essential literacy strategy). This student’s paragraph retold the story giving accurate information about the events using key vocabulary. Student 2 provided details of the events that supported the main idea (requisite skill). Although, Student 2 did not provide an introductory sentence that told what the story was mostly about, Student 2 did demonstrate an understanding of the importance of providing key details of the story. For example, Student 2 wrote, “Then, she decided to swim the English Channel at her first attempt her trainer thought she had swolowed too much and pulled her out of the water. Next, she tried the English Channel agin twenty foot waves struck her on her attempte, but she completed the challenge.” These two sentences accurately state events in the story and provide supportive details as to why these events are important to the story. Student 2 did not provide a concluding sentence that the swimmer’s life was important to all women; Student 2 merely ended the paragraph by stating the last event in the story. Overall, Student did well with this assessment. Student 2 was able to accurately retell the events in the story in sequential order (essential literacy strategy) and partially demonstrated an understanding of main idea and key details (requisite skills).
  • When looking at the work sample of Student 3, I noticed that this student was able to put the events of the story in sequential order (essential literacy strategy). Student 3 provided accurate details from the story using key vocabulary but she did not include an introductory sentence that describes the main idea of the story (requisite skills). Student 3 began the retelling paragraph by simply stating, “First, Gertrude Ederle learnd to swim.” This is a key detail in the story but it does not support the main idea of the story. Student 3 needed to explain why learning to swim was an important part of the story. Student 3 continues the paragraph retelling events in the story in sequential order but does demonstrate an understanding of the main idea. Student 3’s sentences are lacking details from the text. Although, Student 3 was able to list the events of the story in sequential order, Student 3 did not include the most important details of the story that would change the outcome of the story. Student 3 was able to demonstrate an understanding of the essential literacy strategy “retell” but did not provide enough details and/or explanation in the paragraph that support the main idea (requisite skills).
  • When comparing all three students work samples to that of the whole class, the main difference between mastery, partial and non-mastery is clearly identifying the main idea and supporting details of the story. All of my students were able to retell the events of the story in sequential order; the essential literacy strategy but the students who did not receive mastery were the ones who did not demonstrate an understanding of the main idea and supporting details of a text (requisite skills). The students who received partial mastery were able to demonstrate a basic understanding of main idea by using key details of the text to retell the story. The main reason that partial mastery students did not obtain mastery is because they did not include an introductory sentence or a concluding sentence (requisite skills). As for non-mastery students, they did not provide the necessary information in the retelling of the story that would prove that they understood the overall meaning of the story. Although non-mastery students were able to retell events of the story in sequential order (essential literacy strategy), the events/details were not the most important to the story. Non-mastery students did not include the events and or details of the story that would change the outcome of the story (requisite skills). Non-mastery students were not able to demonstrate their understanding of the essential literacy strategy or requisite skills.
  1. Feedback to Guide Further Learning

Refer to specific evidence of submitted feedback to support your explanations.

  1. In what form did you submit your evidence of feedback for the 3 focus students?
  • Written directly on work samples or in a separate document;
  • In audio files; or
  • In video clips from the Instruction task (provide a time-stamp reference) or in a separate video clip
  • I used a rubric as a tool to provide feedback to my students. I also wrote additional comments/feedback to my three focus students on the bottom of the rubric and attached the rubric to the back of each student’s work samples.

Quality / 4 / 3 / 2 / 1
Sequence / Events are
listed in the
correct order
first to last and
include signal
words / Events are
listed in correct
order but
missing
signal words / Events are
somewhat
in order with
little or no
signal words / Events are
Completely
out of order
and no signal
words
Introductory
Sentence
(Main Idea) / Has an introductory
sentence that clearly
describes the main idea / Has an introductory
sentence and it
somewhat describes
the main idea / Has an introductory
sentence but it does
not describe the
main idea / No introductory
sentence
Important Ideas
or Details / Gives accurate
information
about events,
steps, ideas
and key
vocabulary / Gives accurate
information
about events,
steps, and
ideas with
some key
vocabulary / Gives limited
or inaccurate
information
about events,
ideas, steps
and ideas / Gives no
information
about events,
steps, and
ideas
Concluding
sentence / Has a concluding
sentence that makes
clearly states why the
swimmer’s life was
important to all women / Concluding sentence
that somewhat
explains why her
life was important to
all women / Has a concluding
sentence but it
does not tell why
her life was
important to all
women / No concluding
sentence
Use of
conventions
(spelling,
grammar,
capitalization,
punctuation) / Correct use of
conventions
(less than 3 mistakes) / Mostly correct
(4 to 6 mistakes) / Limited use of
conventions
(7 to 10 mistakes) / Lacks correct
conventions
(more than 10
mistakes)
  1. Explain how feedback provided to the 3 focus students addresses their

individual strengths and needs relative to the standards/objectives measured.

  • For Student 1 (a higher level student), I praised this student on his/her ability to accurately retell the story in sequential order as well as providing details of the story that were the most important. This student’s strengths include the ability to distinguish most important from less important details from the character’s life. Since many third grade students tend to think that all of the information in a story is important, Student 1 demonstrated a higher level of ability in finding important details than their typical peers.I commended Student 1 on his/her preciseness of retelling the events/changes of the story and his/her detailed explanation as to why those events were the most important. Because I want every assessment/assignment to be a true learning experience, I did explain to student 3 that I wanted him/her to work on the conventions of writing (spelling, grammar, capitalization, and punctuation) and I explained that it is important to proof read every writing assignment before turning it in. At the beginning of the conference session, together we found specific places in his/her writing where evidence of this weakness was demonstrated. I also had the student try to locate these mistakes and explain how they should have been written. We pointed out that these errors are easy to correct and should be practiced in their every day writing in order to provide as much experience in correcting these mistakes as possible. Even though points were not deducted from the student’s score, I also pointed out to Student 1 that he/she did not have the proper title of the story and he/she did not include the author of the story. The main area that student 1 demonstrated weakness was in the conventions of writing. Student 1accepted all the praise and the smallareas that need approved upon well.
  • For Student 2 (on level student), I began my feedback by praising her detailed paragraph and telling her how well she did retelling the story in sequential order. This student demonstrates strength in choosing important details/events of a story in order to retell the story. Student 2 was able to decipher which events in the story would have changed the outcome of the story and he/she used those events to accurately write a retell paragraph. Another strength of this student is his/her ability to comprehend the reading passage. She demonstrated this knowledge by creating a paragraph that correctly retold the events of the story in sequential order. A weakness of Student 2 was he/she did not write an introductory sentence that stated the main idea of the text. Also, Student 2 did not include a concluding sentence that explained why the swimmer’s life was important to all women. Student 2 also had difficulty with the conventions of writing (spelling, grammar, capitalization, and punctuation), and I explained that it is important to proofread every writing assignment before turning it in. Together we examined their writing to discover places where mistakes had been written due to conventions of writing errors. We also discussed the importance of accuracy in retelling. The student’s first sentence mistakenly indicated that the character had drowned. However, after that Student 2 wrote accurate details of the character’s life. Although I feel this student has the ability to create a sentence that states the main idea of the text, this student did not include it in his/her retelling of the story.
  • For Student 3 (below level student), I wanted to give as much positive feedback as possible so I began with strengths by writing the comment, “You have very good penmanship.” I also stated, “You did a good job of retelling the events of the story in sequential order and I like how you used the signal words.”I also commended the student on the progress they have made in their writing since the beginning of the year. Then, I began informing the student of his/her areas of weakness. Student 3 demonstrated some specific difficulties with this assignment. Although this student was able to retell the events of the story in sequential order, student 3 did not choose events that would change the outcome of the story. Student 3 weaknesses are identifying the main idea of the text and supporting the main idea with key details, which are both the essential literacy strategy and the requisite skills. In regards to this student’s weaknesses, I wrote the following feedback to Student 3: “It is important to begin with an introductory sentence that clearly states what the paragraph is mainly about. You did not include this rather you just began by stating what happened first and so no. Also, in the details of the story, you need to decide if those events are ones that would change the outcome of the story. Although the swimmer probably does like to swim, you should have stated why the swimmer’s life was important to all women.” The student needs to read a sample paragraph that shows evidence of a main idea and appropriate detail sentences.
  1. Describe how you will support students to apply feedback to guide

improvement, either within the learning segment or at a later time.