Application to Date: The Cleaning Lady

Instructions: Please answer the following questions as best you can, taking as much space as you need. For multiple choice questions, please bold your selected answer(s). When finished, email your application as an attachment to .

  1. Choose the option that most closely describes you
  2. Female
  3. Male and under the age of 12
  4. Your husband
  5. Male over the age of 12 who enjoys going on dates with married couples
  6. Male over the age of 12 who actually just wants to babysit your child while you and your husband go on a date
  7. Other: ______
  1. What first drew your interest/attraction to me?
  2. Your baby
  3. Your husband
  4. Your hot body
  5. Your boring answers to boring questions
  6. Other: ______
  1. Why are you completing this application?
  2. I’m bored and want to amuse myself
  3. I’m guessing you’re bored and I’m willing to amuse you by filling out and submitting your “dating” application
  4. I want to hang out and be friends with you
  5. I want to hang out and be friends with your baby
  6. I want to try to break up your amazingly happy marriage and ruin all of our lives, understanding that doing so would earn your complete distain and the wrath of your husband
  1. Why do you think I should go on an outing with you?
  1. If your application were accepted, what kind of outing do you envision us having?
  1. When describing you to her friends who’ve asked what you’ve been up do, how does your mother describe your life situation?
  1. Is your mother mentally healthy and free of delusion?
  1. Are you mentally healthy and free of delusion?
  1. What do you like most about your life right now?
  1. What, if anything, do you wish were different about your life right now?
  1. In order of importance, or in some way that shows how you value them, please rank the following attributes of a person with whom you are to spend a lot of time
  2. Smart ____
  3. Funny ____
  4. Confident ____
  5. Physically Attractive ____
  6. Nice ____
  7. Wealthy ____
  8. Unique ____
  9. Spontaneous ____
  1. This question is purely for my own amusement. Please describe your impressions/guesses as to what I am like:
  2. Physically (if you have met me, feel free to leave this blank): ______
  3. Personality: ______
  4. Other defining traits: ______
  1. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the “Repulsive to the Point of Inducing Vomiting” and 10 being “So Adorable She Gives Me Shivers,” how would you rate the cuteness of this baby?

Thank you for your time. You application will be reviewed and you will receive a response shortly.