Angel Devil (US)
MAC: Hello, I’m a Mac.
PC: And I’m a PC. What do you have there?
MAC: Oh, I was just looking at this photo book I made in iPhoto. Wanna see it?
PC: Sure, I’ll take a look. Why not?
DEVIL: Well, go on. Rip it in half.
ANGEL: Nonsense. It’s beautiful. Ask how he made it.
DEVIL: You don’t care about arts and crafts. You like work.
ANGEL: Wouldn’t hurt you to loosen your neck tie once in a while and have a little fun.
DEVIL: Oh, fun? We tried that once and it was nothing but pain and frustration.
MAC: So, what do you – what do you think?
PC: It’s good.
Better (US)
MAC: Hello I’m a Mac.
PC: And I’m a PC.You know we use a lot of the same kinds of programs.
MAC: Yeah like Microsoft Office.
PC: But uh we retain a lot of what makes us us…
MAC: You should see what this guy can do with a spreadsheet. It’s insane.
PC: Oh shucks!
MAC: Yeah and he knows that I’m better at life stuff like music, pictures, movies, stuff like that.
PC: Woah, woah, what exactly do you mean by better?
MAC: By better I mean making a web site or photo book is easy for me and for you it’s not.
PC: Oh! Oh that kind of better. I was thinking of the other kind.
MAC: What other kind?
Better Results (US)
MAC: Hello, I’m a Mac.
PC: And I’m a PC. You know I actually just finished a home movie.
MAC: That’s so funny. I just finished my own home movie. I did it on iMovie, it was really easy.
PC: Why, I doubt it’s as excellent as mine but I’d be happy to take a look.
MAC: Yeah. That would be great.
PC: Roll it.
MAC HOME MOVIE: Hi, I’m a Mac home movie.
MAC: It looks really professional, right?
PC: Well, great. Bye.
MAC: W-W-W-Wait. What about yours? Can we see yours?
MAC HOME MOVIE: Please.
PC: Well, OK. Sure.
PC HOME MOVIE: What’s up? PC home movie.
MAC: Work in progress?
Counselor (US)
MAC: Hello, I'm a Mac.
PC: And I'm a PC… and I feel inadequate.
COUNSELOR: OK…
PC: PCs get viruses… we can't do as much out-of-the-box and so on…
MAC: I don’t know why you’re so hard on yourself. I don’t get it.
COUNSELOR: Mac, why don't you say something positive about PC?
MAC: Okay, easy! PC, you are a wizard with numbers and you dress like a gentleman.
COUNSELOR: PC…
PC: Well… Mac… I guess you are a little better at creative stuff…
MAC: Thank you, that's…
PC: Even though it's completely juvenile and a waste of time.
COUNSELOR: Maybe you should come in twice a week.
Gift Exchange (US)
MAC: Happy holidays. I’m a Mac.
PC: And I’m a PC. What’s that, a little present there for old PC?
MAC: There you go, buddy.
PC: Please be a C++ GUI programming guide. Oh…it’s a book of photos.
MAC: Photos of us. You see like all the good times we’ve had this year.
PC: Well, it looks like a lot of work anyway. Thanks.
MAC: Actually no, it was really easy. Just a few clicks on iPhoto.
PC: Well, here’s something I got for you.
MAC: Wow, a C++ GUI programming guide. Thanks.
PC: Yeah, I’ve been eyeing that myself.
Goodwill (US)
MAC: Hello, I'm a Mac.
PC: And, I am a PC.
MAC: In the spirit of the holiday season, we've decided to put aside our differences.
PC: To stop comparing ourselves and just be ourselves.
MAC: To stop saying that one is better than the other.
PC: To understand that one does important work while the other wastes his time with frivolous pursuits like home movies and blogs.
MAC: PC? What about putting aside our differences?
PC: I'm sorry it just slipped out, a system error.
MAC: You know what? Let's stop all of the infighting and pull it into "hug harbor."
(MAC and PC hug)
PC: Happy holidays, Mac.
MAC: Happy holidays, PC.
iLife
MAC: Hello, I’m a Mac.
PC: And I’m a PC!
MAC: Oh hey iPod, nice.
PC: Yeah, it’s just a little something to hold my slow jams. And it works so seamlessly with iTunes.
MAC: Did you check out iMovie, iPhoto, iWeb because they all work like iTunes, you know. iLife. Comes on every Mac.
PC: iLife. Well, I have some very cool apps that are bundled with me.
MAC: Oooh, like, Well, what have you got?
PC: Calculator.
MAC: That’s cool, anything else?
PC: Clock.. er, clock..
MAC: Sounds like hours of fun. Or at least minutes.
Networking (US)
MAC: Hello I’m a Mac.
PC: And I’m a PC. We’ve got a little network going here and it was very easy to set up.
MAC: We speak each other’s language.
PC: We share an internet connection and all sorts of things we do together… Who now is this now? What’s ah?
MAC: Oh this is that new digital camera from Japan that just came out.Hajimemashite (nice to meet you)
JAPANESE DIGITAL CAMERA: Hajimemashite (nice to meet you)
MAC: Yoroshiku onegaishimasu (welcome)
PC: Woah woah. You speak her language?
MAC: Oh yeah absolutely! Everything just kind of works with a Mac.Ah, arigatou (thank you)
JAPANESE DIGITAL CAMERA: Nee nee nee, dare ano hito? Otakuppokunai?
(Hey, hey, who's that guy? Doesn't he look geekish?)
PC: Bongiorno. Hello!
Out of the Box (US)
MAC: Hello, I’m a Mac.
PC: And I’m a PC.
MAC: Ready to get started?
PC: Oh, not quite. Got a lot to do. What’s your big plan?
MAC: I might make a home movie or maybe create a website, try my built-in camera. I can do it all right out of the box, so what about you?
PC: Well, first I gotta download those new drivers and I gotta erase the trial software that came on my hard drive.
MAC: Sweet.
PC: And I’ve got a lot of manuals to read.
MAC: You know, it sounds like you’ve got a lot of stuff to do before you can do any stuff so I’m just gonna get started ‘cos I’m kinda excited. Let me know when you’re ready.
PC: Actually, the rest of me’s in some other boxes, so I’ll meet up with you later.
Restarting (US)
MAC: Hello, I’m a Mac.
PC: Hello, I’m a PC.We have a lot in common these days. We both run Microsoft Office,we share files, it’s great. We just get alo–
MAC: PC? Hup! Okay.
PC: Hi, I’m a PC.
MAC: We’re past that, we’ve moved beyond that.
PC: Yeah, I had to restart there, you know how it is.
MAC: Well, actually I don’t.
PC: What, you mean Macs don’t have to–
MAC: We had him and we lost him. I’m gonna go get IT. Keep an eye on him.
Sabotage (US)
PC: Hello, I’m a PC.
MAC IMPOSTOR: And I’m a Mac.
PC: Hey Mac, why so down?
MAC IMPOSTOR: It’s because you’re so much better than me, PC.
PC: Ah, there, there, friend.
MAC IMPOSTOR: It’s no use. You’re first class all the way, PC.
PC: Yeah, but I read somewhere that you’re getting more popular all the time. Now is that true?
MAC IMPOSTOR: No, totally untrue.
PC: I thought so.
REAL MAC: Wow, what’s going on.
PC: Oh, nothing. Nothing.
MAC IMPOSTOR: Hey, I’m a big fan.
Sales Pitch (US)
MAC: Hello, I’m a Mac.
PC: And buy a PC.
MAC: What?
PC: Well, I know you like to just hang out when we’re together but fact is you’re selling like hot cakes now and I gotta get my message out so I’m doing a little for old PC, the only computer you’ll ever need. And if you act now…
MAC: PC, why are you doing this? This is ridiculous.
PC: Well, look, I chart these buying trends and people seem to be falling for your whole iLife thing so I gotta pull out all the stops. Supplies are limited. Operators are standing by.
MAC: It’s very subtle.
PC: Buy a PC. Buy a PC.
Self Pity (US)
MAC: Hello, I’m a Mac.
PC: And I’m a PC. What’s with the big boy clothes?
MAC: This, uh, yeah, just got back from a meeting so…
PC: Why? Why were you at a meeting? Why?
MAC: I do work stuff too. I’ve been running Microsoft Office for years.
PC: Microsoft Office, work stuff, oh boy. Oh, I knew this day would come.
MAC: PC.
PC: I just need to sit down. Oh, wow…
MAC: There’s plenty of work out there for both of us. I don’t know why you’re acting like this.
PC: Why go on? Just let me lie here and depreciate. Ohhhh...
Viruses (US)
MAC: Hello, I’m a Mac.
PC: And I’m a PC.
MAC: Atchoo! Atchoo! Atchoo!
PC: Gesundheit! Are you okay?
MAC: No I’m not OK. I have that virus that’s going around.
PC: Oh yeah.
MAC: In fact, you better stay back. This one’s a doozy.
PC: That’s okay I’ll be fine.
MAC: No no, do not be a hero. Last year there were 114,000 known viruses for PCs. PCs. Not Macs.
PC: Hey I think I gotta crash.
MAC: Hey, if you feel…that’ll help.
Wall Street Journal (US)
MAC: Hello, I’m a Mac.
PC: And I’m a PC. What are you reading?
MAC: Just the Wall Street Journal, it’s nothing. No - no- PC, you know what -
PC: Oh, it’s a review of you!
MAC: Don’t read it-
PC: Oh, it’s from Walt Mossberg, one of the most respected technology experts on the planet. Apparently you’re the finest desktop PC on the market at any price. Very nice.
MAC: It’s just one man’s opinion.
PC: I actually got a great review this morning too.
MAC: Oh, congratulations.
PC: And they said I was awesome. So we’re the same.
MAC: Good for you. And what was that in?
PC: The awesome…awesome Computer Review…Weekly…Journal.
Office at Home (UK)
MAC: Hello, I’m a Mac.
PC: And I’m a PC. Interesting how I dominate both the office and the home.
MAC: Yeah, that’s the funny thing.
PC: What do you mean, ‘funny’?
MAC: I mean the way I see it, you know, you wouldn’t run your home like an office, so why have an office computer in your home.
PC: Maybe homes should be run more like offices. Give family members jobs titles, annual performance reviews, raises for good behaviour.
MAC: PC, I don’t think that was quite what…
PC: Honey, good work at the supermarket. I’m promoting you to night manager. Timmy, those glasses are a bit filmy. I’m afraid I’m going to have to lay you off.
MAC: Wow. Your home sounds like a really fun place to be.
PC: Doesn’t it?
MAC: Can’t wait to clock in for supper.
PC: You’re coming for supper?
Restarting (UK)
MAC: Hello, I’m a Mac.
PC: And I’m a PC.
MAC: We have a lot in common these days. We both run Microsoft Office,
PC: We share files, it’s great. We just get alo–
MAC: PC?
PC: And I’m a PC.
MAC: We’ve done that, we’ve moved on.
PC: Yeah, sorry. I had to restart, you know how it is.
MAC: Mm, not really.
PC: What, Macs don’t have to–
MAC: Yep, we had him, we lost him. I’m just going to get IT. Keep an eye on him.
PC: And I’m a PC. Where is everyone?
Tentacle (UK)
MAC: Hello, I’m a Mac.
PC: And I’m a PC.
MAC: Hey PC, do you know that people in Britain work longer hours than in any other country in Europe?
PC: And they get less holidays. Smashing isn’t it?
MAC: What about the other side of life. You know, spending time with your family, getting together with friends.
PC: So you’d have them bunking off home to relax instead, would you? Making photo albums of each other being unproductive. Creating sentimental home movies of newly-generated offspring.
MAC: Well, that is kind of what iLife’s all about.
PC: Mac, if you want to survive in the business world, you have to be driven, efficient, more focused. Eye of the tiger, claw of the eagle, tentacle of the octopus. Actually, never mind the tentacle. Don’t really need that. Well, maybe for collating documents.
MAC: I don’t know what to say.
Viruses (UK)
MAC: Hello, I’m a Mac.
PC: And I’m a PC.
MAC: Atchoo! Atchoo!
PC: Bless you! Are you okay?
MAC: No, I’m not OK. I have that virus that’s going around. You’d better stay back. This one’s a humdinger.
PC: That’s okay I’ll be fine.
MAC: Don’t be a hero. Last year there were 114,000 known viruses for PCs.
MAC: PCs. Not Macs.
PC: I think I’m gonna crash now.
MAC: OK, well if you feel that would…help.
Accident (US)
PC: I was sitting on my desk. Someone walked by, carelessly tripped over my power cord, yanked me straight down to the ground. Bang!
MAC: Macs come with this power cord that connects magnetically so when it gets pulled it just pops right off.
PC: My life is flashing before my eyes. I see a sunset and a field of beautiful wheat.
MAC: Isn’t that your screen saver?
Work vs. Home (UK)
PC: For example this light gray area could represent shenanigans and tomfoolery. While this dark gray area could represent hijinks. And you see here we further divided hijinks into capers, monkey business and just larking about…”