By Colleen Messina /
Cast of Characters
TV host
TV hostess
Leif Eriksson
Ponce de Leon
Amerigo Vespucci
John Cabot
Christopher Columbus
optional - extra audience members to pretend to be voting
Props: Any props that children would like to wear for explorer's costumes, microphones for TV host and hostess, calculators
HOSTESS: / We used our latest technology to import these puffed-up personalities from the past. The audience will vote at the end of the program. Your votes will determine our winner. Contestants, would you like to introduce yourselves and explain why you were America's Best Explorer?
LEIF ERIKSSON: / (shouting) I WAS HERE FIRST. (in a normal voice) I am a Viking. I got here long before these other dudes. I was definitely first. I explored the coast of North American in 1000 A.D. And I also have a snazzy nickname.
HOST: / What is your nickname?
LEIF: / I am Leif the Lucky. And I got here first! Did I say that?
HOSTESS: / Thank you, Mr. Eriksson. Our next guest is Christopher Columbus.
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS: / Thank you, madam. I claimed this country for Spain. Everyone thinks that I discovered America. They even wrote a poem about me!
HOST: / What poem is that?
COLUMBUS (clearing his throat): / Ahem. "In fourteen hundred and ninety two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue." (he bows with a flourish)
HOSTESS: / That is lovely, Mr. Columbus. Thank you. Our next guest is from England. His name is John Cabot.
COLUMBUS: / But I wasn't done. I have another poem, too. "In fourteen hundred and ninety three, Columbus sailed the deep blue sea." (bows again even deeper)
HOSTESS: / Yes, thank you, Mr. Columbus, but we must move on to our next guest.
JOHN CABOT: / (looking over at Columbus with an annoyed and insulted expression) I was born in Italy, but the Italians were cheap and wouldn't finance my adventures. England pulled through and sponsored my voyage to America. I was looking for spices, but I found lots of fish. I explored the coast of Canada and America. I should win because fishing became so important.
HOST: / (Aside to the audience) Sounds fishy to me...
HOSTESS: / Thank you, John. Now our next guest is Amerigo Vespucci.
AMERIGO VESPUCCI: / Well, I have an obvious advantage. These guys only found coasts. I discovered the entire continent of South America in 1499. That must have been one of the greatest discoveries ever made. I am fearless, strong, and handsome. And, after all, this country is called America, after glorious me. And did I mention that I am also humble?
HOST: / (Aside to the audience) I think he needs to look up the word humble...
HOSTESS: / Our last guest is Ponce de Leon. He explored the coast of Florida. He wasn't looking for gold or spices, though. He can tell you himself about what he was searching for.
PONCE DE LEON: / How do I look? Do I still look young? I was searching for the Fountain of Youth. I did find lots of lovely springs. I think I should win the award because, after all, everyone but kids wants to look young.
HOSTESS: / True, very true. And now, audience members, please use your handy dandy voting devices.
(extra cast members can come from the side and pretend to punch votes into calculators)
HOST: / The results are in, and they might surprise you.HOSTESS: / The winner is...the Native Americans!
(all the explorers groan)
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS: / This is truly the end of us!(everyone bows and exits)
THE END
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