Aliona Reselian
First Year Seminar
Feb 13th, 2012
My stage in Life
Time to Grow up
As Grace J. Craig, the author of “Early Adulthood: Roles and Issues”, said on page 47, “Young adults also begin to see their parents as imperfect and fallible people, not the all-powerful, controlling forces they once were.” Most of the young adults face this particular stage in life were we think whatever our parents advice us is wrong. We begin to want to make our own choices and decisions without anyone telling us what to do and how to do it. We want to make the choice depending on our own opinion and intuition. That’s how we begin to trust ourselves and feel confident with our choices, even if we make a mistake we learn how to understand what was wrong and try to not repeat it again.
I am nineteen years old. I am still desperate for my mother’s attention, love, and support. She still financially supports me by paying for my education at UMass, sending me money for food and living. I do have a job and in some way I try to support myself, but I can’t earn the amount of money that can cover all of the living expenses. In 2011, I have worked at Bahrain Boat Show. I was helping organizing a huge event in Bahrain and I had a good salary. I was glad that now I have my own money my mother doesn’t have to spend on me as much as she did before, but at the same time I was glad that I have job because my mother will see that I am grown up and she would respect my decisions and choice and she would see me as a grown woman. But I know, I wasn’t one.
Most of the adults want to make their own choices and they want their parents to see them as grown human beings that are capable of making their own choices and we always tend to think that what our parents’ advice is wrong because we know better what is good for us. We are always going to be small dependent kids for our parents.
Right before I was leaving to the airport to travel to US, my mom handed me an envelope with a specific amount of money that I have to pay for my university. She told me to pay half of the tuition now and in a month she will send me the other half, but I told her that it would be better to pay the tuition in three parts, which will make it easier because it will give her extra time to collect the whole amount. She told me that paying one half now would make her feel better and she wont be worried that we are in hurry of paying. But I was so stubborn; I was proving to her that she is wrong and that paying in three parts would be better. I was so sure that she is wrong I was sitting there and fighting with her, even though knowing that I am leaving in few minutes and I wont see her in 6 months, I was still fighting. I was so stubborn I didn’t think for a second that my mom is actually right. If we pay half now and half later it’s going to be more financially easier for my mom, but I was thinking only about me being right and me being much smarter than my mom. That’s when I actually thought and understood that at some point I was selfish and I didn’t think that it’s going to be hard for my mom.
I am still at this stage of life were I try to fight with my parents to make my own decisions and choices and at times I forget that my mother’s advices actually are helpful because she does know what is best for me and for her. We are in the same team and we have to work together to pull off my university tuition. I should have thought and weighted the pros and cons of the situation than argued. When we move out of the house or leave for university, we think that our parents don’t control us anymore and that since we don’t live under their roof, we don’t have to follow their rules. But we are still their kids and they still care about us even if we are thousands miles away. Moving into a new place, we call them and ask them for an advice because we know that parents wouldn’t advice us something bad, but I think our generation is full of stubborn young adults that fight for independency to early. We fight only to win the argument.
Our parents try to teach us every good thing that would be valuable in our lives. How to not give up and fight for your dreams, how to be honest to yourself and to others, how to follow your religion and respect others religion, even how to set goals in life and to work hard on succeeding, and the most important lesson my mom taught me is to treat everyone equally no matter what. But we usually close our eyes on their teachings because we think that we have got this. When we used to lie, we used to get grounded by our mothers, but for example, me, if I lie now I wont get grounded I will just disappoint my mother, she will think she has raised me bad or its her fault in me being a liar. She will think that everything she was trying to teach me just went to waste. In my opinion, my mom needs to get used to the fact that I am a human being and I can make mistakes, but I will learn on them. And everything she taught me, I did listen and still remember, I just don’t show it. But I know that later on I know that I will say to myself,” My mom was right!”