Against Gender Violence

16 DAYS OF ACTIVISM

AGAINST GENDER VIOLENCE

25th November to 10th December 2015

MU AUSTRALIA PACK

(This material has been sourced from “MSH 16 Days of Activism 2015 pack”)

Introduction

Mothers' Union is pleased to participate in 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence 2015. Through our participation, we hope to bring the issue of violence against women and girls before God, to raise awareness within our communities and to advocate for change, especially through measures taken by governments.

This pack is designed primarily for Mothers' Union members but can be used by anyone. You may wish to use all of the ideas or simply one or two, for as many or as few days as you wish, and you may have your own ideas for activities. It can be used individually or in a group.

Through taking part in 16 Days of Activism, you may become aware of people experiencing or having had experienced gender-based violence; and therefore we would urge sensitivity to this. It may also raise issues for yourself. You may wish to offer support personally or by helping an individual to access professional support services. We would not advise offering counseling unless you have been trained.

For further details of Mothers' Union's work on gender-based violence go to www.mothersunion.org/our-focus/supporting-family-life/campaigning/campaigning-worldwide

The church's response to violence against women and girls

We have examined the truth of God’s equal respect and love for all made in his image, lived out through the example of Christ and the early church. But the reality is that throughout history and still in recent times the church has not always handled the issue of VAWG well.

There are a variety of reasons for this, including:

· The church has sometimes been slow to accept that this can happen within Christian relationships; and in particular when a church leader is involved.

· The nature of the issue is such that it is very often hidden behind closed doors; protected by a veneer of respectability which has covered up the truth.

· The question of forgiveness has been a stumbling block to the need for justice.

· Within some church traditions a distorted view of the nature of submission within a marriage relationship and gender roles within a relationship led to allegations of abuse not being taken seriously.

The Church of England guidelines Responding to domestic abuse (2006) states:

It is particularly disturbing that not only has the Church failed at many points to protect the vulnerable and to address the processes that lead to domestic abuse, but has also (intentionally or unintentionally) reinforced abuse, failed to challenge abusers and intensified the suffering of survivors.

However, there is now a much greater acknowledgement of the prevalence of VAWG both within and outside the church, and recognition of the church’s responsibility in dealing with it.

"Gender-based violence is one of the greatest injustices in our world today… The Church is already supporting and caring for those affected; it must continue in that work and must condemn the notion that such violence is ever acceptable. The Church must be an advocate for restored relationships of mutual respect and love, modelling the reconciling love shown by Christ to all people."

Justin Welby, Archbishop of Canterbury

Information and resources for use by churches:

www.churchofengland.org/media/1163604/domesticabuse.pdf

Violence Against Women and Girls:

an overview

Violence against women and girls (VAWG) is any act of gender-based violence (GBV) that results in harm, suffering or indignity to women. Violence is 'gender-based' when it is directed against a woman because she is a woman, or when it affects women disproportionately. References to violence throughout this pack include both physical and non-physical forms of violence.

What is violence against women and girls?

Throughout the world, women and girls are subject to many different forms of violence and abuse because of their gender. They may experience any number of forms throughout or at different points in their life.

Controlling and coercive behaviour

An abuser:

· Displays jealousy and possessiveness

· Pressurises their partner

· Makes decisions for their partner or penalises 'wrong' decisions

· Controls and limits what their partner does, who they see, what they wear etc

· Makes their partner feel they have to change their behaviour

· Forces their partner to do things they don't want to, e.g. stealing, particular sex acts

· Disguises control as 'concern'

· Denies that their behaviour is abusive.

Emotional and psychological abuse

An abuser:

· Displays 'Jekyll and Hyde' behaviour

· Mocks, humiliates and undermines their partner

· Verbally abuses their partner

· Manipulates and blames their partner

· Breaks trust, e.g. by having affairs or lying

· Destroys things that are important to their partner

· Ignores their partner.

Threatening behaviour

An abuser:

· Intimidates and frightens their partner

· Uses threatening gestures and words towards their partner

· Threatens a variety of harm e.g. to use physical or sexual violence, take any children away, abuse or hurt family or friends, or to kill their partner or themselves

· Threatens their partner if they say they are going to leave the home or relationship.

Physical

An abuser:

· Punches, hits, slaps, kicks, bites, pushes, shoves, throws, strangles, drowns, burns or pulls their partner's hair

· Uses weapons and other objects to harm their partner

· Physically restrains their partner

· Forces their partner to use alcohol, drugs or other harmful substances

· Deprives their partner of sleep

· Attempts to kill their partner.

Sexual violence

An abuser:

· Rapes or sexually assaults their partner

· Initiates sex whilst their partner is asleep or unable to give consent

· Forces or coerces their partner to engage in/perform sexual acts they don't want to

· Subjects their partner to degrading treatment

· Controls their partner's birth control, or insists that they get pregnant or terminate a pregnancy

· Forces their partner to look at pornography or take part in the production of it

· Forces their partner to have sexual relationships with other people

· Forces their partner to prostitute themselves.

Isolation

An abuser:

· Prevents or discourages their partner from having contact with family, friends or other social groups; or going to work/college/school

· Blocks or monitors their partner's phone calls, text messages, emails etc

· Tells other people lies about their partner

· Gives their partner a curfew or locks them in the house.

Financial abuse

An abuser:

· 'Borrows' or steals money or possessions from their partner

· Limits, controls or prevents their partner's access to money, benefits or other payments

· Builds up debt in their partner's name

· Blackmails their partner

· Refuses to pay home/family bills

· Forces their partner to earn money for them/another person.

Indications that a person may be experiencing intimate partner abuse

· They tell you

· You witness it

· They have physical injuries and give excuses to explain them away

· Their personality changes

· They display stress, depression or low self-esteem

· They are regularly absent from work/college/school

· They stop socialising/become more withdrawn

· They lack money and have to ask their partner for it

· They don't want to give out personal details such as their address or phone number.

Violence against women and girls: how does our Christian faith guide our understanding?

The reasons for campaigning against violence against women and girls are many; any number of individuals and groups will find themselves drawn together to champion such a cause. For us as Mothers’ Union however, we must have a distinctive voice as we join with others to support this campaign. We find this distinctiveness at the heart of our vision: that of a world where God's love is shown through loving, respectful, and flourishing relationships.

God exists in, and created equality of relationship. The relationship of the Trinity powerfully illustrates this; each distinct from but equal to the other; relating together in loving agreement. The equality of human relationships is established at the beginning of creation:

God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.

Genesis 1:27

All are created in the likeness of God, whatever our gender; as such all are entitled to be treated as God’s precious children, whose image we reflect.

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Galatians 3:28

Thus, any culture of violence against one another, whether physical or emotional, is a distortion of relationships as originally intended; equality and respect in the sight of God.

Throughout the Old Testament God’s attitude to women is positive and pastoral. There are many instances of women in positions of influence and leadership; also provision made for those in positions of vulnerability, as in Deuteronomy 26:12. A woman’s choice in marriage is highlighted in Genesis 24:57 and other examples; whilst in Proverbs “wisdom” is personified as a woman.

Where instances of violence against women are recorded they are described as a wrongful action with negative consequences, for example the rape of Tamar by her half brother in 2 Samuel 13 which led to serious family conflict and bloodshed. God’s position remains constant.

Within Jewish society attitudes began to change towards women through the times of exile and inter-mingling with other cultures. The religious leaders attempted to protect the purity of their race through more restrictive laws, many of which had a negative effect on the lives of women. Thus by the time of Jesus’ birth Jewish men would pray every morning and thank God that He had not made them a Gentile, a slave or a woman.

However, Jesus radically challenged this culture through his actions and teaching. He treated women as completely equal to men calling them “Daughters of Abraham”, Luke 13:16.

The church's response to violence against women and girls

There are a variety of reasons for this, including:

· The church has sometimes been slow to accept that this can happen within Christian relationships; and in particular when a church leader is involved.

· The nature of the issue is such that it is very often hidden behind closed doors; protected by a veneer of respectability which has covered up the truth.

· The question of forgiveness has been a stumbling block to the need for justice.

Within some church traditions a distorted view of the nature of submission within a marriage relationship and gender roles within a relationship led to allegations of abuse not being taken seriously

Responding to intimate partner abuse

The most appropriate ways to deal with abuse may vary from culture to culture. However, there are some general principles to consider.

· Abuse is ALWAYS wrong and NEVER acceptable

· Ultimately, only the person experiencing abuse can decide what course of action to take.

If you are experiencing abuse:

· If you feel it is safe to do so, contact the police and/or other appropriate agencies.

· If you feel it is safe to do so, disclose the violence to a trusted person. You may simply want to alert them to the situation or you may want their help.

· Seek support from a specialist agency.

· Make a safety plan to protect and increase the safety of yourself, and any children, either within an abusive relationship or if you decide to leave. Identify a safe place you can go to, store provisions and documents that you will need and try to make any plans untraceable by your abuser.

· Keep a record of the violence (in a safe place) in case you want to give evidence in the case of any prosecution.

If someone discloses that they are experiencing abuse:

· Take time to listen

· Affirm the strength and courage it takes to talk

· Express your concern for their safety

· Reassure them that violence is never justified and is a crime

· Support them to access professional services

· Check if it is alright to make contact with them at home

· Help them think of a safety plan

· Follow any relevant child protection procedures if you are concerned about the physical or emotional well-being of a child.

Don't:

· Dismiss anyone who comes to you for help

· Trivialise or dismiss what they tell you

· Ask what they did to provoke the violence

· Judge or criticise them

· Initiate physical contact with them

· Make decisions for them

· Expect them to make decisions in a hurry

Attempt to offer pastoral care to both the abused and the abuser

Policy recommendations

Mothers' Union lobbies governments and policy makers at the local, national and international levels. Whilst laws and policies relating to gender equality, discrimination and violence against women and girls vary across the world, there are a number of policy principles that Mothers' Union believes need to be implemented globally.

Awareness raising activities

There are a number of activities you can carry out to raise awareness of violence against women and girls, through the 16 Days or at any other point during the year. Below are a few suggestions, based on activities that Mothers' Union members have carried out

· Carry out a vigil

The concept of a prayer vigil dates back many centuries. "Vigil" indicates a time of vigilance, wakefulness, a watch, originally "kept on the night before a religious feast with prayer or other devotions."[1]

If you decide to hold a vigil as part of your activities during 16 Days of Activism, here are some suggestions that may help you plan and hold a successful and thought-provoking event.

Ø When and where – where will you host your event? How many people can it hold? Will it be free? When will most people be available? How long do you want the event to go on for? Can you use your church and work in partnership?