Abuse of Power

Abuse Prevention Emphasis Day 2008

Resource Packet

Abuse of Power

written by

Ardis and Dick Stenbakken

Prepared by the General Conference

Abuse Prevention Emphasis Day Committee

Adventist Chaplaincy Ministries

Adventist Review

Children’s Ministries

Education Department

Family Ministries

Health Ministries

Ministerial Association

Women’s Ministries

Youth Ministries

March 2008

Dear Church Leaders:

Joyful greetings to each of you. Once again we are preparing for another Abuse Prevention Emphasis Day. For some of you this may be your first time that your church is observing this very important day. To you we say a special thank you for making the time in your church schedule to bring the very important topic of abuse to our brothers and sisters.

For those of you who have observed this day in the past we say a special thank you for continuing to keep the emphasis on a problem that can only be helped as we speak out more and more.

Our theme for this year is “Abuse of Power.”This year we have again chosen to handle a topic that is too infrequently spoken about but one that is present in our church. How do those in power and leadership relate to church members? Many have had painful experiences that they may have never spoken about but that nonetheless need to be addressed.

The packet this year was prepared by General Conference Women’s Ministries Department in conjunction with Adventist Chaplaincy Ministries, Adventist Review, Children’s Ministries, Education Department, Family Ministries, Health Ministries, Ministerial Association, and Youth Ministries.

In this packet you will find:

A Sabbath Worship Sermon
Children’s Story
Responsive Reading
Seminar
PowerPoint Presentation
Seminar Handout

As usually we have given you a variety of information for your choosing. As a church leader you are free to add to or substitute material that pertains to your country.

At the General Conference this is a team effort and so we ask that as a church leader you include other departments in your church as you observe this day.

We, at the General Conference, pray for the success of this day. We pray that God will give you the boldness you may need to address this topic that He will bless your team and the plans you make. Most of all we pray for the lives of those who will be blessed because someone has acknowledged their pain and extended a hand of love to them.

Love and joy,

Heather-Dawn Small

Director

About the Authors:

Ardis and Dick Stenbakken are a retired pastoral couple who have a wide back-ground in church and family ministry. Ardis has a BA and MEd in English and secondary education. Dick has Masters Degrees in Theology and Philosophy; New Testament Studies; Family Therapy; Family and Community Education; and a Doctor of Education in Family and Community Education. Dick served as an active duty Adventist chaplain in the US Army for almost 24 years; during this time he did thousands of hours of family and personal counseling. Ardis taught English and was involved in women’s and community issues. From 1992 to 2004 Dick was Director of Adventist Chaplaincy Ministries at the General Conference. Ardis served as Associate Director of Women’s Ministries from 1995 to 1997, and then as Director until the end of 2004. They have taught courses in pastoral sexual ethics at AndrewsUniversity, dealing with abuse of power issues. Through the years they have enjoyed preaching and presenting seminars together. They now live in Loveland, Colorado. They have two married children and two little granddaughters. Ardis continues to edit the Women’s Ministries devotional books and speak and preach. Dick has a ministry presenting dramatic Bible characters; 19 of these characters are available on three DVD’s.

Abuse of Power

Packet

Abuse Prevention Emphasis Day 2008

Sabbath Worship Service: You will note that the sermon suggests that you have some visuals for illustration. It is also suggested that the person presenting the sermon “make it their own.” In other words, if you can add personal experience, local stores, local statistics, or other material which will make the sermon more meaningful and personal for your congregation, by all means, use them!

Suggested Opening Hymn of Praise: “Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee,” Seventh-day Adventist Hymnal #12

A children’s story is included. The majority of it is directly quoted from the Bible.

Scripture Reading: The included Responsive Reading. You may have two leaders: one reads the italicized lines and the congregation joins the second reader in reading the bold type. Or you can have two groups of 3-5 persons each who take turns reading the lines. This is a good way to include some of the youth. Alternate reading: “Christianity in Practice,” Seventh-day Adventist Hymnal # 787; or “Growing in Christ (Sanctification),” # 789.

Closing Hymn: “Not I, But Christ,” Seventh-day Adventist Hymnal # 570.

Seminar: The seminar consists of two parts: one is additional information regarding the abuse of power. The other section is vignettes; you will want to divide your group into smaller groups of probably 4-5 persons each to discuss the cases. Each group should be assigned to discuss one area of abuse. Each group will look at the two vignettes for their area, and chose one or them to discuss. You should allow about 5 minutes for discussion and then about 15 minutes for the groups to report their discussion to the larger group. Individual groups should be held to about 2 minutes each for their reports.

Abuse of Power

Responsive Reading

Abuse Prevention Emphasis Day 2008

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable.

This is truly the way to worship him.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.

Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.

Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body.

We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.

In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you.

If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well.

If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously.

If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously.

And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.

Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.

Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.

When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them.

Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.

Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!

Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.

Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.

Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,“I will take revenge; I will pay them back,”says the Lord.

Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.”

Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.

Abuse of Power

Children’s Story

Abuse Prevention Emphasis Day 2008

Do you remember the story of David in the Bible? He was the one who killed the giant Goliath with a sling and a stone.

David became king of Israel, and he was a good king. He had lots of power; he could tell someone to go somewhere, and they had to obey. Unfortunately, he could tell people to do bad things too, and people did them. And one time he did something very bad that hurt a lot of people. In fact, one of the people was even killed by David’s orders.

Because David was usually a good person, disobeying God must have hurt his conscience. But he didn’t do anything about it. He just went on acting like he had not done anything wrong. And more and more people talked about it, and began to think David was not such a good person after all.

Finally, God sent his prophet Nathan to talk to David. But instead of just telling David that he had sinned and hurt people, Nathan told him a story.

Nathan said that a rich man and a poor man lived in the same town. The rich man owned a lot of sheep and cattle, but the poor man had only one little lamb that he had bought and raised. The lamb became a pet for him and his children. He even let it eat from his plate and drink from his cup and sleep on his lap. The lamb was like one of his own children. They all loved that lamb.

One day someone came to visit the rich man, and the rich man wanted to have a dinner for his guest. But the rich man didn't want to kill any of his own sheep or cattle and serve it to the visitor. So he stole the poor man's little lamb, and killed it, and cooked it, and served it instead. He used his power to take away the poor man’s little lamb.

King David was furious with the rich man and said to Nathan, "I swear by the living LORD that the man who did this deserves to die! And because he didn't have any pity on the poor man, he will have to pay four times what the lamb was worth."

Then Nathan told David: “You are that rich man! Now listen to what the LORD God of Israel says to you: ‘I chose you to be the king of Israel. I kept you safe and gave you a lot of things and power. I let you rule Israel and Judah, and if that had not been enough, I would have given you much more. Why did you disobey me and do such a horrible thing?’”

Then Nathan told David that he would have a lot of trouble and unhappiness because of his sin. You see, when anyone uses his or her power to take advantage of anyone else, God is displeased; people, even boys and girls, can be hurt. And even the person who hurts them suffers just like David did. I am glad that David said, "I have disobeyed the LORD." He was sorry for his sin, and asked God to forgive him. And of course God did as He always does for us. But that did not change the fact that people were hurt. So let’s be careful how we use power. Sometimes bigger or stronger children will push other children around or call them names. Or make fun of someone different. That hurts. And sometimes big people who have power try to hurt little children. If someone tries to do that, you need to say, “No!” and go tell an adult you trust. Jesus wants us to do only things that make us and others feel good, not bad.

Let’s pray that we will each use our power only to help others.

Abuse of Power

Seminar

Abuse Prevention Emphasis Day 2008

It would be well for the presenter to have local or national statistics to share as well as knowledge of local laws, and perhaps current local cases.

It is also important to note that neither the sermon nor the seminar cover all that there is to be said on this topic; for instance, very little is said about restoration or punishment—there is just not enough time. The South Pacific Division has policy and a committee to handle sexual misconduct and abuse in the church. Other divisions may have similar resources—you can contact your division Women’s Ministries or Family Ministries for information. A good web site for more information is . It deals primarily with pastoral misconduct, but much of it is applicable to other situations as well. A good book on sexual abuse of power is Sex in the Forbidden Zone by Peter Rutter, Fawcett, 1991.

The subject of abuse of power is a large subject with many ramifications. In the sermon on the abuse of power also prepared for this day we particularly looked at the biblical story of the sin of David and Bathsheba. But there are many other stories and there are many aspects to this problem. There is the problem itself, what the abuse of power means, how the problem is dealt with so that the problem does not become bigger, what to do about the problem, and how to affect restoration. Both the victim and the abuser need ministry. And if the abuse occurs in the church there are often people who do not believe it has happened and take sides, and often the church itself suffers.

Types of Abuse of Power:

So, what are the elements of power, and who has power? In all cases of abuse of power, abuse takes place when a person takes advantage of a person or group for the benefit of the abuser.

Positional. The use of one’s position, education, status, to command/demand compliance of others without their consent. See Luke 3:14 where John the Baptist tells soldiers to NOT use their position to exploit others.

Some of these positions are:

Pastor
Lawyer
Teacher
Coach
Caregiver
Doctor
Therapist
Church leaders
Youth and Pathfinder leaders
Boss/VIP/political
Husbands/wives
Parents

Economic—the use or misuse of money and trust in managing funds; the person wields power because they have the money—they are looked up to, or they control things or events with their money by either giving or withholding it. Texts: Acts 5:1-12—Ananias and Sapphira; James 5; Deuteronomy 8:18.

Influence. This may be because they have written a book, are a member of a certain group, force of personality, etc.

Physical. Usually the use of size, strength and or physical strength to force compliance. This is perhaps obvious—if you are bigger or stronger than I, you have power over me. Texts: Numbers 22:22-27: Balaam beats his donkey; Genesis 37: Joseph’s brothers sell him to slavery. 2 Samuel 13:14: “and since he was stronger than she, he raped her.”

Informational. A person often has power over another if they have information that the other lacks or needs. This is particularly true in church leadership. If you are on the inside path of information, you can control events and people.

Psychological and Emotional.The use of emotions to dominate, shame, manipulate, or control others. Ephesians 6:4: Do not exasperate your children; Genesis 2:1-7: Satan/Eve/Adam intimidating lies = pressure.

Spiritual. Use of spiritual influence or position to command, demand, demean, or force someone into a belief or behavior. Texts: John 11:49: Caiaphas, “You know nothing at all!”

Sexual. Exploitation of another for personal sexual gratification. The abuse by these individuals may be in the form of sexual abuse, incest, molestation, or sexual harassment. Note: In many countries there are strong legal guidelines on reporting, and potentially severe legal penalties for this kind of abuse, especially the abuse of minor children. Texts: 1 Samuel 2:22-25: Eli’s sons; or 2 Samuel 11: David and Bathsheba.

In all of these cases, the person with the power is also the one who should be held responsible for the situation—not the victim. Stephen Covey, in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, has what he calls the proactive model. This means that “as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions.” Then he goes on to say, “Look at the word responsibility—‘response-ability’—the ability to choose your response”[1] What this clarifies is that the person with the power is the one with the responsibility, and cannot say, “Well, she/he tempted me,” or as in the case of Bathsheba and David, we cannot blame her. David was king and the one responsible. If this were not so, we should have had Psalm 51, a prayer of repentance, from Bathsheba, not David. But he knew he was in the wrong, and so did the prophet Nathan. In fact, 2 Samuel 11:27 says, “But the thing David had done displeased the Lord.”