IN LIFE AND DEATH: The Shaping of Faith

Study Guide

By LeRoy H. Aden

Faith is an important, though often a neglected, part of our lives. Ordinarily, we live without being aware of, or concerned about, our faith. But when a crisis comes along, we often find that our faith either serves us well by providing comfort and strength or it lets us down and contributes to our distress. Thus it is good to reflect on our faith, and, if possible, to increase its ability to sustain and comfort us in the midst of a crisis.

This study guide offers no automatic program to help us grow in faith, but it seeks to create an opportunity where that can happen. It invites us to reflect on our relationship with God as we encounter the trials and temptations of life. It uses my book In Life and Death: The Shaping of Faith to “stir the pot,” to introduce us to the various facets of faith in the midst of life’s challenges.

As you begin the study of faith, you may have certain reservations. If you are participating in a small group, you may be reluctant to share and discuss your faith. You may wonder if it is safe or wise to let people get that close (faith, after all, is an intimate part of who we are). In my years of teaching at a Lutheran seminary, I found that even theological students have a difficult time being open about their faith or the lack of it. The present study does not require you to say anything that you do not want to share.

You may be reluctant for a second reason. You may feel that faith is faith, that a person either has it or doesn’t have it, so there is no need to discuss it. The study guide asks you to be open to another possibility. While faith is first of all a gift of God, it is also a human response. As a human response, it is shaped by our circumstances even as it is a response to those circumstances. Consequently, it deserves our attention and our sincere attempt to refine it.

You may hesitate to undertake this study for a third reason. The study guide brings faith into conversation with death, our own death or the death of a loved one. In a society that tends to deny our mortality, death is not a favorite topic. But death is real, and its impact on our faith is considerable. In fact, I think that death is often the ultimate test of our faith. If I am right, we cannot discuss faith for long without discussing death and vice versa.

The study guide can be used for individual reflection and study, but the guide itself favors study in a group setting. A church-sponsored group of eight-to-ten people can be a helpful and rewarding instrument of growth. It can help believers clarify concepts and issues, it can encourage mutual sharing among them, and it can provide support for all participants. A Sunday-morning adult forum can also be a helpful resource. A forum may focus more on the transmission of ideas, but it can also be designed to promote sharing and to deal with the personal and emotional sides of faith. In any case, members should feel free to voice their views or concerns in an atmosphere of mutual respect and trust.

Sessions of an hour and a half spread over a four-week period are recommended. The eight chapters of the book can be considered sequentially (1 and 2, 3 and 4, etc.), but in fact the participants can decide to cover the chapters in any order they want. The group can also decide to extend its meetings beyond four weeks, but it is better to ask for a time-bound commitment and then to add more sessions if the need arises.

If possible, the group should be lead by an empathetic person who has some training in group dynamics and theology. If that is not possible, the group can ask one of its members to lead off the sessions and to monitor the discussions. The leader should have a chance to reflect on the material in this guide and in the book and should feel comfortable with believers who are struggling with life and faith.

Members of the group should get a copy of the study guide and the book at least a week before the first session. They should be asked to read the Preface of the book as an introduction to their work together and chapters 1 and 2 as a snapshot of the nature of faith.

IN LIFE AND DEATH: The Shaping of Faith

Study Guide

Session One: Settling In

If the members of the group do not know each other well, they should introduce themselves to each other, identifying themselves by name, occupation, and background. The second time around, they should begin to clarify why they joined the group and what they hope to get out of it. If their participation in the group was sparked by a personal or family crisis, they might want to share that with the group. If their story touches the life of another member, the connection can be explored but not to the neglect of the concerns of the first person.

At this point the group might feel comfortable enough with each other to share their understanding of faith: What does faith mean to you? How would you describe your faith? What experiences or relationships have shaped your faith?

When it becomes appropriate, the group can turn to chapter 1 of the book. The book makes a distinction between a simple faith and a more refined faith. How do you react to that distinction? Do you find it helpful or confusing? Where would you locate yourself on a continuum between a simple faith and a refined faith? Where would you like to be?

If time permits, the group can turn to chapter 2 and the frailty of faith. The chapter begins with Mr. T’s reaction to the physician’s indication that he has a terminal illness. When alone, Mr. T begins to ask, “How can God permit this?” and, almost in the same breath, “Where is God when you need help?” Do you think that Mr. T’s struggle of faith is unusual? Do you know someone who went through a similar struggle? If so, did that person deal openly with the crisis or was he or she more guarded about the whole situation?

How about you? Have you been involved in an experience similar to Mr. T’s? If so, could you share some of your concerns with the group?

The discussion may lead to the question of why death tends to shake our faith.

The book gives four reasons (three by number) on pp. 20-22. Review the reasons and share thoughts about them. Does the consuming nature of grief make sense to you? Has the reality of death ever shaken your faith? How do you feel when your faith does not provide immediate assurance? Do you tend to think that your faith is weak and inadequate, or can you allow grief to have its day?

If time has run out and you have not covered all the suggested topics do not worry about it. Sharing is more important than a rigorous schedule. Be aware, though, that chapter 2 also offers a discussion of the dreadfulness of death (pp. 23-31). If the group wants to go in this direction, the following questions may guide the discussion: Of the five characteristics of death, which ones are most troubling to you? Which ones have the greatest potential to eat away at your faith? Make a note of your answers and later you may want to relate them to the positive things that faith does for you.

The group may want to close with prayer. Chapters 3 and 4 will be discussed next time, if the group is moving through the book sequentially.

IN LIFE AND DEATH: The Shaping of Faith

Study Guide

Session Two: The Search For Comfort

Chapters 3 and 4 deal with our need for, and pursuit of, comfort. Faith is still at the center of that pursuit but in two totally different ways. In chapter 3, the book describes four ways in which we have “faith in ourselves,” four ways in which we try to be the source of our own comfort. The discussion group should review each of the four ways and stop at any point where there are questions or comments. The goal is to help each other understand what is said in the book.

More important, it is to help members of the group to see how each of the four ways may operate in daily life. Let’s be more specific. Related to the denial of loss (p. 35), have any of you had a friend who acted like your loss never occurred and that therefore you should have no need to be comforted? Or related to the second practice (p. 40), do any of you know someone who attributed the death of your loved one to the will of God and who acted like that is the end of the conversation? Or related to loosing ourselves in the mundane (p. 40), have any of you buried yourself in busyness as a way to avoid an empty house and the pain of grief?

Finally, related to the search for immortality (p. 43) have any of you found comfort in the belief that the “best” part of us--our soul--remains untouched by death?

In chapter 4, we turn from “faith in ourselves” to “faith in God.” The book describes three ways (pp. 49-52) in which in adversity our faith may “see” God more fully and deeply. Where are you in terms of the three ways? Are you able to see God in the valleys of life? In times of suffering, do you feel that God is for you or against you? Does your faith tend to be a series of beliefs about God, or is it a relationship with God, a giving of yourself in trust and commitment?

Chapter 4 also includes a discussion of hope. It describes three forms that hope can take as it struggles with the dark side of life (p. 56 and following). Do the three forms make sense to you? Do they help you to understand hope better? If you are going through a crisis, where would you locate yourself on the continuum between hope as wish and hope as confession?

Remember, all three forms of hope may be found in a single crisis. For example, Mr. J’s hope (p. 56) took the form of a wish to be cured, but at the same time his hope was lodged in the future, in the possibility that the doctors would find a cure for his condition. If we could look more deeply into Mr. J’s hope, we might see the third form of hope, namely, the conviction that God will be there for him no matter what happens.

At the end of the session acknowledge the way in which the group has been a support to you and remind each other that the next session will deal with chapters 5 and 6.

IN LIFE AND DEATH: The Shaping of Faith

Study Guide

Session Three: Living by Faith

Chapters 5 and 6 invite us to reflect on the comfort that faith brings us, first through faith’s tenacity and then through the assurances that God gives us. In other words, faith grasps firmly onto God, and God becomes the Source of our sustenance.

We see faith in action in Mrs. K (p. 63) and then again in Dr. G (p. 65). Both firmly believe in God, and both are blessed with strength and endurance in times of trouble. Which person speaks more to you, or do you have your own story to tell? If your story involves a confrontation with death or dying, in what sense, if any, did you experience the advantages of faith (see p. 67 and following). Did God as the Lord of life and death take away some of the fearsome power of death? Or did Christ as companion along the way lessen the sense of death’s isolation? Or did the promise of the resurrection diminish the bleak finality of death? In all of this, what was the role of prayer? Has your faith been strengthened by prayer or tested by prayer or both? Has your understanding of prayer changed as you have gotten older? If so, in what way?

Chapter 6 speaks about faith in a Triune God and about the threefold blessing that God is: God cares. God forgives. God heals and renews. Which one of these assurances is most meaningful to you and why? Which one is least comforting?

Looking back over the years, do you think your faith has changed? If so, in what way? What experiences or events have contributed the most to the change? Have moments of doubt been a part of your experience? If so, at what level? At the level of beliefs about God or at the level of believing in, and being committed to, God (p. 11 and following and p. 21 and following). In any case, has your faith grown stronger because of these moments of doubt or does doubt threaten more than it encourages self-examination?

End the discussion with prayer. Note that chapters 7 and 8 will be discussed next time.

IN LIFE AND DEATH: The Shaping of Faith

Study Guide

Session Four: The Fruits of Faith

“Faith bears many fruits.” In chapter 7, we turn to its practical fruits. First, faith enables us to accept what we have done and been. We are free from the mistakes and failures of the past and can give thanks for the opportunities and successes that we have had. Do you enjoy this kind of inner peace? Are you happy with what you have made of life? If not, what would God want you to do with your dissatisfactions?

The fruits of faith should also be evident in your relationships. Are you at peace with the significant people in your life, or is there a broken relationship that needs mending? If the latter is true, are you willing to reach out to heal that relationship? If not, why not?

Second, faith enables us to accept what is. Are you able to live in the present, whatever it is? I find Karen Horney (p. 104 and following) especially insightful here. She makes the point that we can and often do clutter-up the present with our “inner dictates,” with our excessive, if not absolute, demands to be something we are not.

To what extent do you live by “shoulds?” For example, do you find yourself saying, “I should be this or that” or “I should not have done this or that?” How do you handle these inner demands? How do you become free of them? In what sense does a life lived by faith offer you freedom from these demands?

Third, faith empowers us to embrace what is to come. That is a tall order but remember Dr. G in chapter 5? The doctors marveled at his ability to face death, but for Dr. G it was a matter of faith? “I expect to be at home with the Lord when I die” (p. 65). Do you wish you had this kind of faith? What do you want a stronger faith to do for you? Take away the crisis or give you the courage to go through it or what?

Has your experience in the group been a period of growth? If not, what has stood in the way? If so, how can you continue to grow in faith? Remember growth in faith does not mean that you have fewer and fewer bad days. It means that increasingly you can cast your cares on Christ, because Christ cares for you.

Express your gratitude to each member of the group by indicating how each one has been a part of your journey of faith?

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