Phone Call to Relative
A relative responds via letter or phone message with an interest in participating:
Hello, my name is ______and I am a family finding volunteer with CASA of Travis County and I am calling for ______. Is this she? Thank you so much for leaving me a message/responding to my letter. Are you in a place where you can talk right now because I am so excited for ______to find out more information about his family? Your help sharing this information could really make a difference in ______life.
A relative does not return a call or respond to a letter:
I am calling to follow up on the letter I sent you ______ago. I can imagine this must be a difficult phone call to receive. Are you in a place where you can talk right now because I am excited for ______to learn more about their family? We are interested in gathering family history so that we can give ______a sense of identity and, hopefully, the opportunity to connect with his/her family members. What would you like to share with me?
(Allow time to for the person to explain their situation and to tell their understanding of the child’s situation)
If the relative asks about the child’s situation:
I know you must have a lot of questions. I really can’t answer them right now. There may be a time in the future where we could talk to you and answer some of your questions. Again, I realize this is difficult but my primary concern right now is to help ______get answers to some of his questions. Your help with this information could make such as difference in his life.
One thing that might really help our conversation today is if you could tell me one of the things you are most proud of about your family. A story or something someone has done in the past that was very special to you.
What about family reunions and gatherings? What are your family traditions? DO you know who plans them? (Try to get name and contact information. Usually, these are the people with the most information).
If asked about how to have contact with the child:
I assure you I am going to share your information and how to contact you with the rest of my team. It sounds like you are offering to help out. Let me write down what you are willing to do at this time and I will share that with my team, as well.
If they cannot have contact with the child:
This may be your one of few opportunities you may have to do something to really help ______. The information you share with me could truly improve this child’s life.
If relative sounds upset:
I can’t imagine how you must be feeling right now. I am so sorry for what your family has been through, but we are asking for your help now to give some answers to ______questions.
You might think of some more things that are important for ______to know over the next few days, or you might kn
Possible Scenarios
A relative does not know the youth is in foster care.
Before the call, imagine what the relative might be feeling and plan some phrases to help: “I know this must be very difficult for, not having known,” or “I’m so sorry you didn’t know this. I wish we would have been able to contact you sooner.”
A relative wants to know where the youth is living.
Tell the relative you can’t say anything at this point because of confidentiality, but you will find out if and when you can tell them. Sometimes, you can guess certain questions relatives will ask. Find out before hand what you can say and consider how to word the information.
Why call a family that abused and/or neglected the youth?
The family’s assets and abilities may have changed since the last contact. They may now be able to participate and serve as a resource for the youth. Even if they cannot, the youth may want, or benefit from, a connection with them.
An interested relative has criminal and/or CPS history.
Parents/relatives who are incarcerated or have criminal or CPS history can contribute family history and memories, provide information on the family background, religion, etc., and tell you who might be able to support the youth. They often appreciate the opportunity to help their child.
The youth has severe challenges and will most likely never live at home.
Permanency is a relationship and a family, not a place. Even if the youth will live in an adult care center after he turns 18 or remain in a high level group home during the teen years, the youth needs a permanent family who will send cards, make phone calls, and spend time with him on birthdays.
Some children with severe behavioral problems recover quickly after family members are identified and engaged.
The family feels guilty and ashamed of not being involved with the youth sooner.
There will be a vast array of responses from relatives. Assure relatives that past relationships can be healed and the most important concern right now is assuring that the youth has a connection going forward. Also, note that many mistakes have been made by everyone involved in the youth’s life, for a variety of reasons (CPS turnover, lack of placement options, lack of therapeutic options, etc.)
The family doesn’t want us to search for other family.
DFPS and CASA are required to find family for youth. It is important to be persistent, but not nagging or demanding. Revisit the matter occasionally and stress the importance of familial connections for the success of a youth in the future.
Often one side of the family will not want CASA or DFPS to look at the other side of the family or will not want their own family members contacted. That does not stop the search. If family members will not cooperate, the search will continue. It is important, though, that communication is maintained with the all relatives in the event they have a change of heart.
No contacts can be found.
It is rare that this will be the case. In this event, Family Finding will close the case, but can revisit the case in the future if needed.
Always ask for more information about the family, not just information about that individual.
· Do they have siblings?
· Where did they grow up?
· Are they close with particular family members?
· What can they tell you about the family history?