From birth to death we go through various stages in life. Families are often challenged by various transitions: new babies, attending a crèche and later primary and secondary schools and college, maturing spiritually, the teen years, young adults, marriage, pregnancy, mid life, retirement, grandparenting, grief and death.
Here are some resources to enable you to effectively minister to those in your church and community as they celebrate these transitions and support those who are in need of care at times of crisis.
The Index includes a majority of the contact addresses, websites etc for the following section of resource organisations.
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LEADERSHIP _____________________________________
Where do you find guidance for leading out in Family Ministries? The main ways are:
· your Pastor who will have your job description in the church manual
· the Mission/Conference/Union Family Ministries Department Sponsor or Director, eg:
- the NEC has specialised in Men's Ministry materials
- the SEC has a resource catalogue which includes more books than mentioned in this manual
- the Scottish Mission has a blog
- the Welsh Mission works jointly with the Children's Ministries department
· Conference and Mission Church Officer Training Days:
- BUC Family Ministries Certificate Training Course, held over 2 residential weekends.
- the General Conference Certificate of Family Life Educators, which is an intensive one-week course that takes 5 years to complete. The Trans-European Division organises it and invites the Unions to send students.
· Annual GC Planbook. An excellent source of seminars, suggested books and family life articles can be found in the General Conference's annual Family Ministries Planbook. A sample contents page is in the Appendix. In January the new book will be put on the BUC Family Ministries website, www.adventist.org.uk. It, and Planbooks from previous years, are available on computer discs from the BUC.
· Handbooks:
- "Caring for all God's Family", the BUC Manual
- North American Division Family Ministries handbook. This is available from the NAD, ABC and the Adventsource website – see Index for their addresses. (Any videos or DVDs from the USA must be played on compatible equipment.)
· SDA Websites:
General Conference http://familyministries.gc.adventist.org
North American Division www.adventistfamilyministries.com
South Pacific Division www.adventist.org.au
and your local Mission/Conference/Union:
British Union Conference www.adventist.org.uk
South England Conference www.secadventist.org.uk
North England Conference www.necadventist.org.uk
Irish Mission www.adventist.ie/drupal/
Scottish Mission www.sdascotland.com/
Welsh Mission www.adventistwales.org/
· Publishers
Some of our church materials are printed by:
- Review & Herald
- Stanborough Press/Autumn House
- Pacific Press
- AdventSource
- North American ABC
These books can be bought from the Adventist Book Centre and found in the Stanborough Press catalogues or over the internet through AdventSource and the North American Adventist Book Centre.
See website section and Index for more helpful sources.
· Most helpful book – The Family Book by Mrs Karen Holford, published by the Stanborough Press. This book includes creative ideas for families in the areas of:
- Biblical foundations for nurturing relationships
- Parenting for life
- Helping your family grow spiritually
- Building a stronger marriage
- Facing life's challenges together
- Reaching out to other relationships
- Aids and the family
· General Conference statements on marriage, the family and issues closely related to family life: (www.adventist.org). See Appendix for samples.
Abuse
Family Violence
Statement on Abuse and Family Violence
Statement on Child Sexual Abuse
Abortion
Guidelines on Abortion
Principles for a Christian View of Life
Family
An Affirmation of Family
Fundamental Belief on Marriage and Family
Statement of Consensus on Care for the Dying
Statement on Home and Family
Marriage
An Affirmation of Marriage
Sexuality and Reproductive Issues
An Affirmation of God's Gift of Sexuality
Assisted Human Reproduction—Considerations
Birth Control: A Seventh-day Adventist Statement of Consensus
Christian Principles for Genetic Interventions
Seventh-day Adventist Position Statement on Homosexuality
Statement of Concern on Sexual Behavior
Statement of Consensus Concerning Female Genital Mutilation
Statement on AIDS
Statement on Ethical Considerations Regarding Human Cloning
Statement on Meeting the Challenges of Sexually Transmitted Diseases
Statement on Pornography
· Leaflets – produced mainly by the General Conference and available from the British Union and Conferences:
- 101 Ideas for involving families in global missions
- 101 Ideas for celebrating family at church
- 101 Ideas for family evangelism – discipling the world one family at a time
- Twelve ways to avoid losing your home because of debt, by Care for the Family
- Helping a child cope with the loss of a loved one, by Karen Holford
· Other faith groups and organisations. These offer excellent resources and have been included in this section of the manual, eg Dr Barnardo's CANDLs changing families, changing communities resource pack.
· Helpline for church leaders: Care for the Family – 029 2081 4067
· Statistics for the UK & Eire on marriage and the family:
www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/ukstats.html
www.upmystreet.com – local information and statistics about your community
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PREMARRIAGE & MARRIAGE _________________________
v PREMARRIAGE
Beginnings
A preparation course by Dr. B Craig, South Pacific Division Family Ministries Director. www.adventist.org.au.
Foccus (facilitating open couple communication, understanding & study)
This course includes an inventory to be filled in by the couple and marked by FOCCUS.
Care for the Family
More than a Wedding – is a course designed to raise issues that challenge British and Asian couples. The pack includes a facilitator’s manual, DVD and work book.
Engagement Gift Pack
§ rules of engagement – book.
§ 21st century marriage – DVD and work book.
Intimate Life Relational Ministry - ILM
§ So you want to get married? – a work book by Dr David & Teresa Ferguson.
The Marriage Preparation Course
Videos and manual for five seminar’s on:
- the importance of commitment
- how to recognise and appreciate your differences
- resolving conflict
- developing a good sexual relationship
- the importance of talking about your goals, values and dreams.
This Christian course is based on ‘The Marriage Book’ by Nicky & Sila Lee.
(See 'The Marriage Course' in the Index.)
From This Day Forward
A tried and tested sensible Anglican pack which contains a lot of information. A good starting point for leaders starting out on marriage preparation.
(See 'FLAME' in the Index.)
Churches Together for Families
CTF is an umbrella organisation with a programme of work of its own. Its member organisations and churches work directly with families.
§ Carefully Prepared
A booklet designed to help church leaders and others involved in marriage preparation. An on-line resource which can be downloaded and copied freely.
§ www.marriage-preparation.co.uk
A web site which offers recommendations to those looking for marriage preparation materials. It does not recommend any particular material, but gives useful pointers as to what church leaders should take into account when looking for resources.
Premarriage & Sex
§ Sex Love and Relationships – DVD (135 minutes) Curriculum version
Teenagers love Pam Stenzel because she tells it to them straight, mincing no words in showing how the pervasive sexual permissiveness of our culture is a deceptive trap. Every young person should have the benefit of the hard-hitting reality check in this four-part series. Pam’s message is helping thousands avoid disastrous consequences of unwise choices. Including Leader’s guide and reproducible student worksheets.
DVD available from Trinity Vision. (See Index.)
Pure in Heart
Websites, book and organisation dedicated to encouraging chastity before marriage:
§ www.pureinheart.net
§ www.truelovewaits.org
§ How to help your child say No to sex, book by Josh Mc Dowell which looks at ways to help preteens and teens wait until marriage.
§ Going Public – materials on teen sexuality. Going Public is an excellent organisation that wants to find ways to strengthen teens, by helping them to develop Christian values. It produces DVDs and a teen-friendly magazine, called XTC. Looking just like any other glossy teen-magazine, this resource covers issues of sex and sexuality self-worth, peer-pressure and drug abuse in a way that young people can relate to. (See Index.)
Care
An organisation that presents sex and relationship education programmes and produces videos suitable for teen discussion groups/seminars.
§ Make Love Last (video)
Make Love Last was developed to balance the 'safe sex' messages and communicate to un-churched teenagers the biblical truth that it is 'OK to say no to sex and wait for marriage'.
www.makelovelast.org.uk
§ Exploring Marriage with News Desk (software)
An educational role-play game on CD Rom. The software enables young people to become a TV news reporter investigating the relevance of marriage in the 21st Century and its application to their own lives. Teacher's guide included.
§ Growing Up Together (software)
Looks at changes children experience growing up into adults.
To order:
(See CARE Resources Office in Index.)
Main website: www.care.org.uk
The Straight Talking Project
Committed to reducing teenage pregnancies. They do training courses – shocking teens about the reality of being a parent 24/7 – by giving them a dummy 'real life' baby to look after for 24 hours.
Human Sexuality
A manual that covers all concepts, from birth to adulthood of male and female, of human development, relationships, personal skills, behaviours, health, society and culture.
Manual by Ron & Karen Flowers, GC Family Ministries Directors. (AdventSource .)
v MARRIAGE
www.2-in-2-1.co.uk – best website on preparing or enriching, maintaining and repairing your marriage.
Care for the Family
§ 21st Century Marriage DVD and Workbook - an eight session course to help couples build a lasting relationship.
- knowing we matter
- acceptance
- when everything screams out, “It’s over!”
- time for love
- when sparks fly
- dealing with debt
- the affair
- love in the real world
§ It Takes Two – marriage resources; to order phone or email Care for the Family
§ Connect 2 – a seminar resource to support couples in the first years of their marriage. Seminar notes, DVD and overheads.
§ More Than a Wedding – A seminar with DVD especially for British Asians.
2 As 1
This is a national organisation primarily representing the black community in Britain, providing a unique information and support service for black couples and church leaders.
One of their priorities is to empower, equip and motivate black men, enabling them to deal more effectively with relationship issues.
Interfaith Marriage Support Network
An informal network set up to provide support for interfaith couples.
Contact:
Rosalind Birtwhistle
53 Devon Road
Bedford, MK40 3DF
www.interfaithmarriage.org.uk
The Adam & Eve Factor Series
4 video / DVD sets which have a workbook covering the 35 minute sketches that illustrate four distinct areas of marriage – commitment, conflict, intimacy & servant-hood.
(See Trinity Vision in the Index.)
The Marriage Course
Over seven evenings spent together couples talk about important issues that can get swept under the carpet in the rush of daily life.
Topics covered include:
- Recognising each other’s needs
- Learning to communicate effectively
- Resolving conflict
- Healing past hurt
- Knowing how to make each other feel loved
- Relating to parents and in-laws
- Good sex
- Making time for each other and having fun together
(See The Marriage Course in the Index.)
Muslim/Christian Marriage Support Group
A network for people involved in, or affected by Muslim/Christian marriage. Provides resources for couples for educational use, and for family and marriage support organisations, including Christian churches and mosques. It also produces a regular newsletter.
Resources can be downloaded from their website.
www.mcmarriage.org.uk
ILM Relational Ministry
§ Keeping Marriages Healthy – seminar with video, workbook and leader’s guide.
§ The Pursuit of Intimacy – a book to encourage trust and openness in a relationship.
§ The Top Ten Intimacy Needs – a workbook with interactive material for couples, discussion questions and practical applications to enhance any friendship, marriage or family.
§ Never Alone – daily devotional for couples.
(See Intimate Life Relational Ministry - Resources in the Index.)
Focus on the Family
§ Building a stronger marriage – four DVDs.
§ Sex & Intimacy By Dr J. Dobson – book about understanding and accepting your mate’s differences.
www.focusonthefamily.com
Christian Publicity Organisation (CPO)
§ Marriage Milestones – a series of leaflets giving practical advice to support couples at defining moments and problematic stages
- The first child
- Early disillusionment
- When the last child leaves home
- Retirement
www.cpo-online.org.uk
Books
§ Praying Through the Deeper Issues of Marriage, by Stormie Omartian, Harvest house Publishers
§ To Have and to Hold, by N Van Pelt, The Stanborough Press. A guide to a successful marriage. Can be used for a seminar series. See the SEC Family Ministries resource catalogue for more book details.
§ How To Communicate With Your Mate By Nancy Van Pelt - A book that can be used for seminars, including discussion questions.
§ Searching For Intimacy In Marriage By Dr B. Craig (The South Pacific Family Ministries Director) - This book explains how time and financial stresses, a radically shifting social culture, and changing expectations are only some of the pressures focused today on one of God’s best gifts from Eden – the union of two people in marriage. An excellent research based resource for marriage enrichment. Order from the ABC or AdventSource .
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MINISTERING TO SINGLES __________________________
Books
§ Discovering Intimacy – single adults, relating to God and others. Available from ILM Great Commandment network: 01926 430 889
§ How to Get Beyond Loneliness, by Larry Yeagley. Review & Herald.
§ Single & Gifted, by Jeffrey Brown. Autumn House.
§ One of Us –
§ Single Issue –
Two books by Steve Chilcraft look at singles in church, issues they face and the biblical view that honours this state of being. Published by CPAS.
§ Single Adult Ministry, by Bobbie Reed. The complete manual for successful singles ministries.
§ Singles disc from the BUC Women's Ministries department.
Organisation
§ SDA Social lights, South England Conference singles ministry. Contact the Family Ministries department, 01923 232728.
Seminar
§ "Singularly Significant". An audio tape and discussion guide. Available to hire from the BUC Family Ministries department.
See – premarriage for singles and sexuality
See – building family faith for being spiritually single
There are a number of websites calling themselves Adventist Singles. Please note these are run by individuals and not by our church organisation, therefore we cannot recommend them.
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BUILDING FAMILY FAITH ___________________________
v SPIRITUAL PARENTING
· What to Pray For When You are Expecting, by J Penner. Vine Books.
· Preparing for Your Baby's Dedication, by Kay Kuzma. Here are dozens of ideas for creating a memorable baby dedication for your child. AdventSource .
· Preparing Parents – Bible study and ideas for the dedication service, by Pastor F Mapp. Available from the BUC Family Ministries department.
· Annual devotional with the daily activities and readings for all age groups. Published by the Review & Herald.
· Keeping the Faith by V Bailey & Judith Gillespie. "The bottom line in parenting is not how religious our children are but how well they will know Jesus." Advent Source. A disc with a powerpoint seminar and guide sheets for parents is available from the BUC Family Ministries department.