Writing Strong Opening Paragraphs in AP Language & Comp
THIS READER’S OBSERVATIONS:
1. There is no one right way to write an opening paragraph.
2. The opening paragraph is extremely important as a first impression and for the way it affects a reader’s attitude toward the paper. A paper can “recover” from a weak opening, but it’s an extra burden to undo the reader’s “first take” of the paper as lower half, immature, or dull.
3. The majority of students write “empty” openings, meaning that the content of the paragraph is shaped from what already exists in the prompt and is therefore “empty” of the writer’s critical thinking.
4. Opening paragraphs can be any length , but the high scoring papers often have three to four sentences (or even longer) whereas low scoring papers often have one or two.
5. The student writer is best served when the reader has an impression of the paper as demonstrating “a mind at work” and “a competent, mature writer in control.”
WHAT DOES NOT WORK WELL :
1. Rearranging or parroting the prompt but not adding anything form your own thinking (this is the “empty” opening discussed above).
2. Wording that is formulaic, signaling a generic, “five-paragraph” essay will follow. These openings are weak because the writer sounds as though he or she is on “autopilot” rahter than truly engaged with the text.
3. Beginning with a broad sweeping statement (i.e. “There have always been wars”), a cliche (“A picture is worth a thousand words), or a truism (i.e. “Everyone wants to be loved”). In general, if you can say “Like, duh!” after the statement, it falls into one of these categories.
4. Listing the devices an author uses but saying nothing more about them (i.e. “The author uses diction, imagery, and point of view to express her ideas.”)
WHAT DOES WORK WELL:
1. Weaving the key words of the prompt into the opening paragraph (and the whole essay for that matter!) to show the reader you know that AP stands...for what? Answer the Prompt!
2. Making a “grabber” opening sentence that gives insight into the over-arching idea of the piece or conveys an essential truth form it.
3. Writing a “bullet thesis” that directly addresses the prompt and is the thesis for the paper.
4. Weaving in a short, “essential quote” that captures the “spirit” of the piece and signals a direction for the student’s paper.
5. Writing an opening sentence that sets a context for the paper, often by describing what the writer is doing in a way that goes beyond the prompt—the statement comes from the critical thinking the student has done while reading the piece. This method shares an insight.
Let’s have a look at what some student writers have done
1998 AP English Language Coca-Cola Letters
Rate these opening paragraphs as strong (plus), medium (check), or weak (minus). Then rank them from 1 (lowest) to 8 (highest).
_____A. Mr. Herbert of Coca-Cola and Mr. Seaver of Grove Press approach each other with a different tone to address the same issue of infringing on the right to use the same slogan. Mr. Herbet in a corporate tone addresses the argument with facts to support his case while Mr. Seaver openly criticizes the though that a phrase can be owned as property. Mr. Seaver’s argument is more effective as it not only supports his argument, but also it questions the validity of Mr. Herbert’s argument.
______B. In a formal letter to Richard Seaver, the vice president of a publishing company, Ira Hoover , a representative of Coca-Cola, formally and politely asks Seaver to stop using the phrase “it’s the real thing.” Seaver, in reply, effectively states his case why it is his right to continue to use “it’s the real thing.” Both speakers argue their case using different strategies with Seaver’s letter being far more persuasive.
_______C. Ira C. Herbert, a Coca-Cola official, lays out her reasons for Grove Press discontinuing their controversial advertisement in a forceful and superior tone. In response, Mr. Seaver disagrees by mocking the absurdity of the request and calling attention to Herbert’s superiority complex.
_____D. In the correspondence between Mr. Seaver and Mr. Herbert, Mr. Herbert uses polite entreaties and plain facts to try to persuade Mr. Herbert to discontinue the use of Coca-Cola’s slogan, “It’s the real thing.” Mr. Seaver’s reply maintains the politeness, however, he adds wit and examples of bigger problems to make his argument more effective.
______E. IN two very different tones, the representatives of Coca-Cola and Grove Press portray their claims to the right of four advertising word: “It’s the real thing.”
_____F. Richard Seaver, executive vice president of Grove Publishing, mounts a hilariously satirical yet painstakingly logical argument to deflate an arrogant order from Coca-Cola that Grove stop using the phrase “It’s the real thing” in ads.
______G. Assuming a grave and professional tone, Mr. Herbert uses the conventional route in his request. However, Mr. Seaver’s humorously sarcastic tone in response invalidates all of Mr. Herbert’s serious points, implying the absurdity of the letter and its request.