TYPES OF THINKING ERRORS
[1]Thinking errors fuel both anti-social and self-defeating behaviors and fall into one of three groups:
· Type 1 Thinking Errors: Unwilling to Accept Responsibility. These cognitive distortions allow people to abdicate responsibility for their behaviors.
· Type 2 Thinking Errors: Self-Defeating. These cognitive distortions hamper personal growth and self-esteem.
· Type 3 Thinking Errors: Narcissistic (or, “Me, Me, Me”). These cognitive distortions focus the attention of individuals solely onto themselves.
Combined, these thinking errors result in a series of highly interactive cognitions that include self-defeating, self-destructive, relationally disconnected, and antisocial thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes that lead directly to similarly negative behaviors. In turn, such behaviors negatively influence the experiences, beliefs, and ideas that reinforce and generate still more thinking errors.
Type 1 Thinking Errors: Unwilling to Accept Responsibility
· Denial. The individual pretends it did not happen and might even try to fool himself into thinking it did not happen. If he denies it ever happened, maybe it will go away. Examples: I didn’t do it. It never happened. I wasn’t there. I don’t know what you’re talking about.
· Shifting the focus. The individual tries to turn people’s minds and attention onto something else to distract them from the real issue. Examples: It’s not fair anyway. I don’t think we should have these rules. What about what he just did?
· Blaming others. The individual blames the problem and his own behavior on someone or something else. Finger pointing to avoid embarrassment or getting into trouble. Examples: I just did what he was doing. He did it first. He made me do it.
· Blaming The Victim. The individual blames the victim as though he was not at fault and somehow the victim brought it on him or herself. Examples: It was her fault anyway. She asked for it. He wanted it. If she’d have left me alone, this would never have happened.
· Intellectualization. The individual tries to use ideas and intellect to sidetrack issues and out-think the opposition, finding excuses and explanations. Examples:
· Innocence and playing dumb. The individual acts as though he did not know it was wrong or against the rules or pretends that he did not know better.
· Rationalization. The individual finds reasons, explanations, and excuses for what he did.
· Justification/Excuse Making. The individual finds reasons to explain the “correctness” of what he did, as though it were okay. Red flags for justifying are words like “but.” For example, “I did my treatment work, but my mother picked me up at school so I don’t have it.” A good way to stop justifying is to stop using the word “but.”
· Minimization. The individual downplays the importance of what happened or of its meaning. Those red flags are the words, “only” and “just.” For example, “I was only five minutes late.” If we convince ourselves that our hurtful or irresponsible behaviors are no big deal, then we won’t work on changing them.
· Dismissal. The individual disregards, ignores, or brushes aside what happened or other people’s feelings as though they do not matter.
· Angelic Thinking. This is a victim stance in which the individual portrays himself as a wonderful person incapable of breaking the rules or harming someone.
· The Diminished Capacity Syndrome. This is when we pretend that our ability or power was reduced or eliminated. This is when we pretend that we did not know what we were doing because we were upset, stressed, tired, drunk, or “not thinking straight.” For example, a person using this type of thinking error might say, “I was drunk” or “I wasn’t thinking, I was too angry.” Sometimes young people say things like “I wasn’t thinking at the time.” Also, sometimes we say, “I forgot” as a way of pretending that we couldn’t remember something. Remember: your brain is permanently connected to your body, and you are always thinking. You may not be thinking healthy thoughts, but you are thinking. To be responsible, you need to take charge of your decisions, and admit that you did what you did.
· Lying. There are at least three types of lies. One type is when we leave out information. This involves holding back information and telling only the parts you want to. These are sometimes called “half-truths.” They are really lies of omission. Another type of lie is when we flat out say something that is not true. This is a lie of commission. The last type of lie is called a lie of assent. This is when we pretend to agree with someone when we really don’t. This is also called “faking.” Lying is a common thinking error. We lie because we don’t want to face the consequences. We lie because we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. We lie because we sometimes think that if others think a certain way about us we will all be happier. These are all lies. We can stop lying as much if we find other ways to meet our self-esteem needs. We can all stop lying if we simply tell the truth, all of the time. This is not easy to do. Some of us lie a lot, and habits like this are hard to break. Baby steps are the key. Make a commitment to not lie for an hour, then for a day.
· Distant Elephants. This is not thinking ahead. This is not thinking about the consequences of our actions. We use this thinking error to avoid the responsibility of controlling our impulses. When an elephant is really far away, it looks small and non-threatening, “not a big deal” at all. When the elephant gets closer to you, it becomes big, scary, a “huge deal.” To avoid this thinking error, always think ahead. Start to think and worry about the end result of your behavior. Ask yourself, “What might happen?”
· Universals. These are global statements that don’t leave room for anything else to be true. Red flags for universals are “always” or “never.” Any statement that doesn’t leave room for anything else is a universal statement. Think about it! Don’t you get mad when your parents tell you that you never make your bed? In fact, you probably remember that one time four years ago when you made your bed when your grandmother came to visit. Get the idea? Avoid universal statements.
· The “I Didn’t Have Time” Excuse. Time after time young people try to defend their lazy behavior by saying “I didn’t have time to do it.” When their daily diaries are reviewed, it can be easily seen that they did have time, they simply chose to spend it playing video games or watching television. The responsible thing to say is “I chose not to do it,” or “I chose to do other things instead.”
· Avoidance or “I Don’t Know.” This is when we pretend that we don’t know the answer that other people need or want. We use this thinking error to avoid telling the truth or to avoid sharing information of which we are embarrassed or ashamed. Most of the time we really know the answer to the questions we are asked, but we don’t want to admit it, for fear of consequences. So, to be responsible, we need to stop using “I don’t know” statements.
Type 2 Thinking Errors: Self-Defeating
· Catastrophic Thinking. The individual magnifies the impact of negative experiences to extreme proportions.
· Hopelessness. The individual assumes that nothing will ever work out and that things will always go wrong.
· Overgeneralization. Something goes wrong in one situation, and the individual applies it to all situations.
· Black-and-white thinking. The individual sees things as all or nothing; things are either one way or the other.
· Assuming. This is when we act as if we think we know what is going on, but we don’t take the time to make sure. We use this to avoid the responsibility of checking things out with someone else.
· Oughts, Shoulds, and Musts. The individual feels that life ought to be a certain way; that he should do something, or that things must go the way he wants them to.
· Negative Predictions and Fortune Telling. The individual predicts failure in situations yet to happen because things have gone wrong before.
· Projection. The individual makes negative assumptions about the thoughts, intentions, or motives of another person, which are often projections of his own thoughts and feelings about the situation.
· Mind Reading. The individual feels that others should know how he feels or what he wants even though he does not tell them.
· Labeling. The individual labels himself or someone else negatively, which shapes the way he sees himself or that other person, often for simplistic reasons.
· Personalization. The individual treats a negative event as a personal reflection or confirmation of his own worthlessness.
· Negative Focus. The individual focuses mainly on negative events, memories, or implications while ignoring more neutral or positive information about himself or about a situation.
· Avoidance. The individual avoids thinking about emotionally difficult subjects because they feel overwhelming or insurmountable.
· Emotional Misreasoning. The individual draws an irrational and incorrect conclusion based on the way he feels at that moment.
Type 3 Thinking Errors: Narcissistic
· Life is too hard. The individual feels that life is just too unfair and that it somehow owes him more.
· Entitled. The individual feels as though he deserves good things even if he does not have to work for them.
· Victim Stance. The individual feels as though he is the victim of the whole world and as though he is the one who has been harmed.
· Grandiose. The individual feels as though he is better or more important than other people are or as though others should and do look up to him.
· Revenge. The individual feels as though he has been wronged and is allowed (or entitled) to get his revenge.
· Taking It Personally. The individual feels that the rules are applied only to him, instead of everyone, and that people and things are against him personally.
· One-upsmanship. The individual feels he has to do better than everyone else and show everyone that he is the best.
· Me, Me, Me. This is when a person only thinks about himself or herself. This is selfishness. In its simplest form, stealing or hitting is only possible for selfish and self-centered persons. If you were truly thinking about what would be best for the other person, you wouldn’t have hit or stole from them.
· Magical Thinking or Super-Optimism. This is when we believe that everything will work out if we just want it enough. We use this thinking error to avoid the responsibility of working to correct our mistakes and taking the steps we need to make our lives the way we want them to be. An example of this type of thinking error is when a driver who speeds, says, “I’ll never get caught.” Or, a skier who is reckless says, “I’m too good to get hurt.” A person with criminal problems may say, “I’ll never get deviant urges again.” Magical thinking is wishful thinking, and it usually doesn’t work.
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