3
Nicholson
Title: He Didn't Have To Be
Artist: Brad Paisley
Written by: Brad Paisley and Kelley Lovelace
When a single mom goes out on a date with somebody new
It always winds up feeling more like a job interview
My momma used to wonder if she'd ever meet someone
Who wouldn't find out about me and then turn around and run
I met the man I call my dad when I was five years old
He took my mom out to a movie and for once I got to go
A few months later I remember lying there in bed
I overheard him pop the question and prayed that she'd say yes
And then all of a sudden
Oh, it seemed so strange to me
How we went from something's missing
To a family
Lookin' back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be
I met the girl that's now my wife about three years ago
We had the perfect marriage but we wanted somethin' more
Now here I stand surrounded by our family and friends
Crowded 'round the nursery window as they bring the baby in
And now all of a sudden
It seemed so strange to me
How we've gone from something's missing
To a family
Lookin' through the glass I think about the man
That's standin' next to me
And I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be
Lookin' back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be
Yeah, I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be
Because he didn't have to be
You know he didn't have to be
(Lovelace and Paisley)
He Didn’t Have to Be
Every time I hear Brad Paisley’s “He Didn’t Have to Be,” my heart (and my eyes) overflow with love and warmth for one amazing man, my step-father of over 35 years, Dave Harman. Like the speaker in the song, I met my step-father-to-be when I was only five years old. I remember liking Dave -- no, adoring him -- the minute I opened the front door and greeted him before he took my mother on their first date together. It was the day I opened up my heart again. It was the day my mother stopped crying.
Every time I hear this song, I am reminded when Dave married my mom, when we became a family, and how he brought laughter and adventure into our lives. He not only completely spoiled us with amazing experiences like taking us skiing for Christmas wherever we wanted for a whole week -- once we even went heli-skiing -- but he taught my brother and me how to ride dirt bikes and how to live it up at the River. Dave healed my broken family, when he married my mother, by teaching us how to laugh … at his incredibly bad jokes; by teaching us how to dance … oftentimes on the living room furniture.
Every time I hear this song, I remember one of the most significant days of my life: my wedding day. I chose Dave to walk me down the aisle and give me away, rather than my biological father, because Dave was my “real dad,” even though “he didn’t have to be.” I can still remember dancing the father/daughter dance to this very song. I had my head on his shoulder, and he whispered, “I’m so proud of you.” I then looked him in the eye at the end of the song and said, “Thank you for being the dad you didn’t have to be; thank you for choosing to be my dad.” See, my wedding day was the last time I ever danced with Dave. He died a couple of years later, after an agonizing struggle with a debilitating and dehumanizing disease. I remember that on my wedding day Dave, the man I consider my father, found the strength to toast me and my husband, when he could barely speak anymore; he found the strength to walk me down the aisle and even dance, when he could barely walk anymore. He found the strength for me.
Every time I hear this song, I cry because I think about all the blessings in my life: love, joy, adventure, laughter, skiing, dancing, and “all the things he did for me”; I think about the amazing father he was, even though “he didn’t have to be.”
Every time I hear this song, I hope he’s still proud of me.
Works Cited
Lovelace, Kelley, and Paisley, Brad. "He Didn't Have to Be." Rec. 30 Aug. 1999. Who Needs Pictures. Brad Paisley. Frank Rogers, 1999. CD.