Who Are You Calling a… Wind Bag?

By Maria Carty

Narrator 2: (Coughs repeatedly)

Narrator 1: You all right?

Narrator 2: Yep. (cough) I just swallowed something (cough) down the wrong tube (cough, cough).

Narrator 1: Your body's not going to like that.

Windpipe: Get out! GET OUT! This is a food free zone. You've heard of peanut free zone? Well this is a peanut, popcorn, juice, mashed potato, brussel sprout and even chocolate ice-cream free zone. If it's not air I don't want it.

Narrator 1: See. What did I tell ya.

Narrator 2: (continues to cough.)

Windpipe: I have one job and one job only- and that is to ensure this route remains open for Air to get from the nose and mouth to the lungs. It might sound easy but it's a job that goes 24/7.

Narrator 2: Wow! You must be very busy

Windpipe: Yah. And if that weren't enough. I also have to make sure that nasty old CO2 gets back out. He and Oxygen come in together, but no one wants old CO2 hanging around for too long. So… out he goes. All day long… in and then out… in and then out…

Lungs: Hey! How do you think I feel? I'm the one that has to do all the moving. You just hang out there while I'm doing all the work.

Windpipe: Yah, yah…

Lungs: I'm the real deal when it comes to the respiratory system. It's in the lungs where the oxygen is absorbed into the blood cells. If it weren't for me the rest of the body wouldn't get its precious oxygen.

Aveoli: Listen here you old wind bag. I may be small but I'm not too small to stand up for myself and these other guys. You talk like you do it all. Well without us that oxygen wouldn't be going anywhere. After the air passes through the windpipe or trachea (as it's officially called), it splits into the bronchi and then all the bronchioles spread it out even further.

Lungs: Well I never. Of all the ungrateful things to say.

Diaphragm: Ungrateful!? I'll tell you about ungrateful. I don't hear you mentioning my name. Without me you're nothing but an empty lung. I'm the muscle that powers you. I move and then you move. Without me that air ain't going nowhere!

Aveoli: You tell em! Once the air's in I fill up and the exchange of oxygen begins.

Lungs: Yep. In with the new… out with the old…

Aveoli: Not bad for an old windbag (chuckles).

Lungs: Hey! Who are you calling a windbag?

All: (look around silently, shaking head and shrugging shoulders)

Created by Maria Carty, 2004