Showing vs. Telling Exercise
The Ladder of Abstraction
More General General Specific More Specifi
organism plant flower Gerbera daisy
vehicle car Chevrolet ’58 Chevy Impala
writing instrument ________________ fountain pen Waterman fountain pen
________________ sandwich corned beef sandwich Reuben
American ________________ Navaho Laguna Pueblo
book reference book dictionary ________________
school high school ________________ Interlochen Arts Academy
medicine oral medicine gel capsule ________________
Painting a Picture
Confucius said that a picture is worth a thousand words. Even when you're writing—working with words alone—you can paint pictures in your readers’ minds.
What sorts of pictures do you see in the following pairs of sentences?
1. The old man walked to the beach.
2. Bent with age, the white-haired gentleman shuffled toward the park bench.
3. When I watch Paul Newman, I get excited.
4. When I look into Paul Newman's cool blue eyes, my socks roll up and down.
5. He was ugly.
6. His face was covered with warts, and when he smiled he revealed a mouthful of broken, yellow teeth.
Which sentences paint better pictures in your mind? Why do they? What could you say about the better sentences? Are the words in those sentences general or specific?
How could you make these sentences more specific, more colorful, more interesting?
a. Dave drives an old car.
b. Sarah talks a lot.
c. My mother is kind. (TURN PAGE OVER)
Your Assignment
Choose one of the following words, and use what you have learned about on the handout Showing vs. Telling and the Goldberg reading to make it more colorful, picturesque, meaningful to a reader: roommate, pet, sister/brother, car, bed, or shoes.
Before we meet again, you have been asked to read DA pp. 58-72 and pp. 228-241. Take the sentence you have written above and turn it into a paragraph, experimenting with as many concepts as you can: monosyllabic vs. multisyllabic, specific vs. general, concrete vs. abstract, literal vs. figurative, tone, voice, parallelism, anaphora, epistrophe, the power of threes, varying sentence beginnings, and avoiding pretentious language and clichés. Write your paragraph below and bring it with you on Monday. Be prepared to share it and discuss the techniques you used to write it.