God – Spike Milligan
They said “what’s the sun? “Oh”, I said, “it’s a ball of fire.”
“Well, how did it get there?” I couldn’t give them the second answer. I couldn’t give them the second answer to anything. They’d say “why are we alive?” I’d say “Oh well, you’re organic..” but I couldn’t go on. I couldn’t jump more than 18 inches up in the air off this earth, and I began to think how infinitely stupid it was for a chap who could only jump 18 inches up into the air and then come down to earth again to say “there’s no God”. This is blind stupidity, the greatness of which I can’t even measure. But it is stupid and it was necessary for me to face this sort of thing to find God. Like I said, I found my way back to God through the children. I thought, “I can’t answer their questions. I can’t and nobody can.” So I thought, I’ve got to make some kind of decision for them and even if there’s no God I’d rather they believe there was a God because God necessarily represents good. I thought, that can’t be a bad thing, so I’ll say there’s a God and we’ll go to church, and I started to go with them: it’s wrong to send them if you won’t go yourself. So I went to church with them. And then one day it came to me: “There is a God. There just is chum.” Don’t ask me to give you any drawings or categories- I just know there is a God.”