Doug and Carrie

Doug and Carrie

King of Queens

Int. Mall Map Kiosk—Night

(Doug, Carrie, shopper extras)

Doug and Carrie are standing near a map of the mall in Mid Argument.

Carrie:

I just handed you all that money. How could you have lost your wallet?

Doug:
I don’t know!

Carrie:

Well, the leather store’s only twenty feet way from where you were, so it’s got to be right

Around here.

Doug:

Actually….I may have made a couple of stops before the leather store.

Carrie:
Where did you go?

Doug:

Well, (Looking around) First I went here to the “Paws and Claws”.

Carrie:

“Paws and Claws”?

Doug:

The pet store.

Carrie:

What did you do in the pet store?

Doug:

(beat) Held a puppy.

Carrie:

Okayyyy. Then you went to Leather World?

Doug:

No, then I went to Barnes and Noble to look up dog names in case you let

me get the puppy. I like “HONDO”.

Carrie:

Is that it?

DOUG:

No, then I went up to level two, where I (Checking Map) tired on sunglasses, sat in a massage chair, and listened to the new Best of Van Halen CD. Roth and Hagar—same

disc. Then, I watched the teen fashion show over by the ------

Carrie:

I can’t believe you, Doug. I mean how could you be so irresponsible?

Doug:

You say “irresponsible”, I prefer “Childlike Wonder”

Carrie:

I’m doing almost all the shopping, and I ask you to go to one place, and you couldn’t even handle that.

Doug:

You’re the one who’s always begging me to walk!

Carrie:
I never begged you to loose your wallet!

Doug:

Well, now you know walking’s dirty little secret!

END!