Charlotte Bronte: “A Warning Against Passion”

Charlotte Bronte: “A Warning Against Passion”

November 20th, 1840

MY DEAREST NELL,--

That last letter of thine treated of matters so high and important I cannot delay answering it for a day. Now I am about to write thee a discourse, and a piece of advice which thou must take as if it came from thy grandmother. But in the first place, before I begin with thee, I have a word to whisper in the ear of Mr. Vincent, and I wish it could reach him.

In the name of St. Chrysostom, St. Simon, and St. Jude, why does not that amiable young gentleman come forward like a man and say all that he has to say personally, instead of trifling with kinsmen and kinswomen. "Mr. Vincent," I say, "go personally, and say: 'Miss ---, I want to speak to you.' Miss --- will of course civilly answer: 'I am at your service, Mr. Vincent.' And then, when the room is cleared of all but yourself and herself, just take a chair nearer. Insist upon her laying down that silly . . . work, and listening to you. Then begin, in a clear, distinct, deferential, but determined voice: 'Miss ---, I have a question to put to you--a very important question: "Will you take me as your husband, for better, for worse. I am not a rich man, but I have sufficient to support us. I am not a great man, but I love you honestly and truly. Miss ---, if you knew the world better you would see that this is an offer not to be despised--a kind attached heart and a moderate competency." Do this, Mr. Vincent, and you may succeed. Go on writing sentimental and love-sick letters to ---, and I would not give sixpence for your suit."

So much for Mr. Vincent. Now Miss ---'s turn comes to swallow the black bolus, called a friend's

advice. Say to her: "Is the man a fool? is he a knave? a humbug, a hypocrite, a ninny, a noodle? If he is any or all of these, of course there is no sense in trifling with him. Cut him short at once—blast his hopes with lightning rapidity and keenness.

Is he something better than this? has he at least common sense, a good disposition, a manageable temper?

Then consider the matter." Say further: "You feel a disgust towards him now—an utter repugnance. Very likely, but be so good as to remember you don't know him; you have only had three or four days' acquaintance with him. Longer and closer intimacy might reconcile you to a wonderful extent. And now I'll tell you a word of truth, at which you may be offended or not as you like." Say to her: "From what I know of your character, and I think I know it pretty well, I should say you will never love before marriage. After that ceremony is over, and after you have had some months to settle down, and to get accustomed to the creature you have taken for your worse half, you will probably make a most affectionate and happy wife; even if the individual should not prove all you could wish, you will be indulgent towards his little follies and foibles, and will not feel much annoyance at them. This will especially be the case if he should have sense sufficient to allow you to guide him in important matters." Say also: "I hope you will not have the romantic folly to wait for what the French call 'une grande passion.' My good girl, 'une grande passion' is 'une grande folie.'

Mediocrity in all things is wisdom; mediocrity in the sensations is superlative wisdom." Say to her: "When you are as old as I am (I am sixty at least, being your grandmother), you will find that the majority of those worldly precepts, whose seeming coldness shocks and repels us in youth, are founded in wisdom." 'No girl should fall in love till the offer is actually made. This maxim is just. I will even extend and confirm it: No young lady should fall in love till the offer has been made, accepted, the marriage ceremony performed, and the first half-year of wedded life has passed away. A woman may then begin to love, but with great precaution, very coolly, very moderately, very rationally. If she ever loves so

much that a harsh word or a cold look cuts her to the heart she is a fool. If she ever loves so much that her husband's will is her law, and that she has got into a habit of watching his looks in order that she may

anticipate his wishes, she will soon be a neglected fool. 'I have two studies: you are my study for

the success, the credit, and the respectability of a quiet, tranquil character; Mary is my study for the

contempt, the remorse, the misconstruction which follow the development of feelings in themselves

noble, warm, generous, devoted, and profound, but which, being too freely revealed, too frankly bestowed, are not estimated at their real value. I never hope to see in this world a character more

truly noble. She would die willingly for one she loved. Her intellect and her attainments are of the very highest standard. Yet I doubt whether Mary will ever marry...

1. Bronte's main objection to Mr. Vincent is that he is:

a) too passionate

b) insufficiently wealthy

c) not direct and forthright

d) overly demanding of Nell

2. Bronte suggests that a good marriage involves:

a) mutual interests

b) honesty and openness

c) tolerance and consideration

d) self-denial and an eagerness to please

3. What does Bronte believe is a good reason to immediately reject the idea of marriage to someone?

a) lack of love

b) actual dislike for the person

c) a feeling of passion for the person

d) a belief that the person has a bad character

4. Bronte's main objection to intense love is that a woman who feels it becomes:

a) indecisive

b) vulnerable

c) disrespectable

d) too narrow in her interests

5. Bronte suggests that her friend Mary will never marry because she:

a) is unwilling to take risks

b) is too open with her feelings

c) does not act on her feelings

d) has become bitter over her failed romance