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THE MUSIC MAN
ACT TWO
#26 – Entr’acte (Orchestra)
SCENE ONE
(TIME: Evening, the Following Tuesday.
AT RISE: Madison Gymnasium. Harold is conducting band practice with kids on
Bleachers, Marcellus is working on the Shipoopi dance with teens. The quartet is practicing their songs upstage, and the Pick-a-Little Ladies are rehearsing their routine. They are dressed in “girls” basketball bloomers. Harold goes from group to group to help them. He dances with Marian)
HAROLD
All right, everyone. Ladies, take your places.
(The company applauds as the women take their places downstage center)
#27 – Eulalie’s Ballet (Orchestra)
EULALIE
Music.
(She claps and music begins to play)
Breathe…and contract.
Lovely, ladies, lovely. Now turn, take the body with you.
And Now….. And now let’s have a go at our Grecian Urns…
One Grecian Urn…
Two Grecian Urns…
Oh, ladies, turn around. And bend and stretch! Oh, enjoy the stretch!
And rise into a Fountain…trickle, trickle, trickle.
I predict that our Del Sarte display will be the highlight of the Ice Cream Sociable.
HAROLD
Splendid, ladies. Gentlemen, if you’re ready…
(Quartet moves into position downstage center)
EULALIE
Now ladies, remember, don’t make me tell you again.
Always, always keep your face to the audience.
HAROLD
Mr. Dunlop, the singing….
#28 – It’s You (Quartet)
(Ewart blows pitch pipe)
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THE MUSIC MAN
EWART
IT’S YOU IN THE SUNRISE.
IT’S YOU IN MY CUP.
JACEY
IT’S YOU ALL THE WAY INTO TOWN.
OLIVER
IT’S YOUR SWEET “HELLO,” DEAR,
THAT SETS ME UP.
EWART
AND IT’S –
(Harold goes to kids and starts practicing dances, Tommy and Zaneeta dance)
QUARTET
YOUR “GOT TO GO,” DEAR,
THAT GETS ME DOWN
IT’S YOU ON MY PILLOW,
IN ALL OF MY DREAMS,
TILL ONCE MORE THE MORNING BREAKS THROUGH.
WHAT WORDS COULD BE SANER,
OR TRUER, OR PLAINER
THAN “IT’S YOU,” “IT’S YOU,”
JACEY
YES, “IT’S YOU.”
EWART, OLIVER, OLIN
OH, YES, “IT’S YOU.”
(Company applauds, Mayor runs over to Tommy who has Zaneeta in a lift over his head)
SHINN
Take your hands off my daughter!
ZANEETA
Papa!
TOMMY
Mr. Shinn, your honor. Your daughter and I are goin’ steady behind your back.
SHINN
Why You –
TOMMY
We’d rather do it in front a’ your back but –
SHINN
Do what? Never Mind.
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THE MUSIC MAN
TOMMY
Zaneeta’s scared a’ya, but I’m not. I should think you’d hate to have your own daughter scared a’ya. Great Honk!
SHINN
I’m going to warn you once more. If I ever catch you touching my daughter I’ll. I’ll by God horsewhip you till Hell won’t have it again!
EULALIE
Now George!
SHINN
Not one poop out’a you madam!
EULALIE
I think he means peep.
SHINN
Yes! And now you get out’a this public building!
TOMMY
I got as much right in a public building as anybody.
SHINN
Right? How do you have any right around here? Aiding and abetting the swindling activities of this spellbinding cymbal salesman? You know what I see written all over you? Reform School! Now get out!...Get out, you wild kid ‘ya!
(Tommy rushes out and Zaneeta rushes over to Shinn)
ZANEETA
Papa, please. It’s Capulets like you make blood in the market place. Ye Gods.
SHINN
You watch your frazolagy, young woman. Go Home….eh’!
(Zaneeta turns to Eulalie who is helpless, squeaks out of frustration and starts off.
Eulalie Starts after her)
SHINN
Eulalie!
EULALIE
Yes, George -
SHINN
You tend to your dance.
EULALIE
(Coming back)
My Dance –
SHINN
I’ll handle Zaneeta…
MARIAN
Mr. Mayor, if I could just make you understand –
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THE MUSIC MAN
SHINN
Well ya can’t. And by the way thanks for the buggy ride, I’ve read that book you gave me from cover to cover for a whole week now and didn’t find a thing!
MARIAN
Well…
HAROLD
Mr. Mayor, I want you to know I’m vouching for Tommy Djilas. That boy’s got the confidence of every kid in this town – you’ll be standing in line waiting to shake his hand by time our band plays it’s first concert.
SHINN
Ha! By the time your band plays its first concert the individual members’ll have to foregather in wheel chairs on account of the broken legs they’ll get from tripping over their beards. I’ll tell you something, my fine young feathered – my feathered young – never mind! Oliver – Jacey – Ewart – Olin!
(The Men quickly attend)
I want this man’s references and I want ‘em tonight! Don’t let him out’a your sight! He’s slipperier ‘n a Mississippi sturgeon!
OLIVER
Do you mean you want us to – get his credentials –
SHINN
La la la la la la la la la! Get his papers or get him in jail! I couldn’t make myself any plainer if I was a Quaker on his day off!
(Exits. Men turn to look for Hill, Marcellus point them off in the other direction.
The Band begins to sing LA DE DA, once Men are gone; Harold pops up from behind the band)
EWART
Professor Hill?
OLIVER
Professor Hill?
(Hurrying over to Harold)
HILL
At ease, men.
MARIAN
Professor Hill, I think Mayor Shinn has behaved abominably and I think it was wonderful of you coming to Tommy’s defense.
HAROLD
Oh, that was nothing.
MARIAN
Yes it was.
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THE MUSIC MAN
HAROLD
Oh, no. A man can’t dodge the issue every time a little personal risk is involved –
What does the Poet say? The coward dies a thousand deaths – the brave man only 500 –
(Laughs gaily, suddenly turns serious)
Unfortunately, of course, the Mayor was already pretty mad on account of his Billiard Parlor. Now – Oh, I suppose a recommendation from a musical authority such as yourself would help but – I couldn’t think of asking you to do a thing like that.
MARIAN
Well –
HAROLD
You would?
MARIAN
I’d be glad to. I only wish I was a little more informed – I’ve been wanting to talk to you about Winthrop’s Cornet.
HAROLD
His Cornet? Mother-of-pearl keys.
MARIAN
I’m sure it’s fine. But you see he never touches it. Oh, the first week or so, he made a few – ah –
Experimental - blats? I guess you’d say?
HAROLD
Yes – Oh, yes blats.
MARIAN
And he sings the “Minuet in G” almost constantly.
HAROLD
La de da de da de da de da.
(Band picks up on Harold’s lead. He shushes them)
La de da. La de da –
MARIAN
But he never touches the Cornet.
HAROLD
Well, you see –
MARIAN
He says you told him it wasn’t necessary.
HAROLD
Well, let’s understand…that Marian –
MARIAN
Something about a “Think System.” He say’s if he thinks the “Minuet in G”, he can play it.
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THE MUSIC MAN
(They share a laugh together)
HAROLD
I agree but it’s only the experimental stage. And I’m sure to a seasoned professional, it must sound ludicrous.
MARIAN
Oh, you mustn’t say that!
HAROLD
I mustn’t?
MARIAN
No…why throughout History the true invisionator was always laughed at. I hope you don’t class me with those small minded, ridiculed –
HAROLD
Galileo.
MARIAN
Edison.
HAROLD
Columbus.
MARIAN
Francis Scott Keys.
HAROLD
Oh, she was good!
MARIAN
(Laughs and then composes herself)
Yes, well, the one thing one must remember no matter who one is, or what one is working for – one can do anything if one only put’s one’s mind to it.
HAROLD
Marian – one could only tell you just how much you’ve done for – one.
(Marian laughs, he takes her hand)
May one - call on you?
MARIAN
Any night this week –
(He spins her and walks out, kids begin exit, Pick-a-little ladies rush forward to Marion)
#34 – Pick-a-Little, Take-a-Little (Reprise) Alma, Ethel, Eulalie, Maud, Mrs. Squires
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THE MUSIC MAN
LADIES
PICK A LITTLE, TALK A LITTLE, PICK A LITTLE, TALK A LITTLE
CHEEP, CHEEP, CHEEP, TALK A LOT, PICK A LITTLE MORE.
PICK A LITTLE, TALK A LITTLE, PICK A LITTLE, TALK A LITTLE
CHEEP, CHEEP, CHEEP, TALK A LOT, PICK A LITTLE MORE.
PICK A LITTLE, TALK A LITTLE, PICK A LITTLE, TALK A LITTLE
CHEEP, CHEEP, CHEEP, TALK A LOT, PICK A LITTLE MORE.
PICK A LITTLE, TALK A LITTLE, PICK A LITTLE, TALK A LITTLE
CHEEP, CHEEP, CHEEP, CHEEP, CHEEP, CHEEP, CHEEP, CHEEP
ETHEL
(Simultaneous with above)
Marian, Miss Marian, please join our Del Sarte Committee.
MRS. SQUIRES
You were so dear dancing with Professor Hill.
(The Ladies continue “Pick-A-Little, Talk-A-Little” under the following)
ALMA
You dance like a
FAIRY PRINCESS
WITH A MOONBEAM FOR YOUR FLOOR!
YOU HAD A GOLDEN SHIMMER IN YOUR HAIR
AND SILVER SHOES FOR ALL TO SEE!
WE KNOW THAT YOU WILL SOON UNFOLD
A FORGIVING HEART OF PUREST GOLD,
HERE
WHERE A WOMAN’S HEART SHOULD BE!
ALMA, MAUD, ETHEL, MRS. SQUIRES
FAIRY PRINCESS!
MOONBEAM FLOOR!
GOLDEN SHIMMER!
SILVER SHOES!
NOW UNFOLD!
HEART OF GOLD!
HERE,
WHERE A WOMAN’S HEART SHOULD BE!
THE PROFESSOR TOLD US TO READ THOSE BOOKS
AND WE SIMPLY ADORED THEM ALL!
ALMA
CHAUCER!
ETHEL
RABELAIS!
EULALIE
BAL – ZAC!
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THE MUSIC MAN
LADIES
CHEEP, CHEEP, CHEEP, CHEEP, CHEEP, CHEEP, CHEEP, CHEEP,
CHEEP, CHEEP, CHEEP, CHEEP, CHEEP, CHEEP, CHEEP, CHEEP!
PICK A LITTLE, TALK A LITTLE,
CHEEP!
(On the last beat of song, Marian lifts foot to join in; the women pose shocked and excited. During applause, women run off stage left, Eulalie takes Marian’s hand and then follows off. Harold walks on by lamppost; Quartet enters upstage right as set changes)
END OF SCENE ONE
SCENE TWO
(TIME: The following Wednesday evening. After Supper.
AT RISE: Town Sidewalk and Paroo Porch. Jacey, Olin, Oliver, Ewart all wearing silver stars, are on the alert as Harold is trying to escape them)
EWART
Sorry, Professor, but we got our orders.
OLIVER
We all been deputized.
HAROLD
Yes – congratulations. Let’s see – you know all week I’ve tried to give you fellows my references and credentials but every time you seem to get off the subject somehow. Now I have just what you want up in my hotel room – take me a second.
EWART
Sorry. ‘Fraid I’ll have to go along with you.
HAROLD
Yes – well, let’s see if I even got my key –
(Finds paper in pocket)
What’s this? – Oh yes – a testimonial from Madame Rini, the only female Bassoon player ever to appear on the Red Path Circuit. Her stage name, of course. Actually she was from Moline. Lida Rose Quackenbush.
EWART
(Men reaching for paper)
Could I see that for a minute?
HAROLD
(Hastily pocketing it)
Oh, you’ll never forget a name like that. Lida Rose. Same as the old song.
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THE MUSIC MAN
#35 – Lida Rose & Will I Ever Tell You (Harold, Quartet, Marian)
(Gets out pitch pipe and blows it)
LIDA ROSE,
I’M HOME AGAIN, ROSE,
EWART
TO GET THE
QUARTET
(Instantly jumping in) (As the Quartet starts,
Harold dusts off his hands,
SUN BACK IN THE SKY sneaks out the back and exits left)
LIDA ROSE, I’M HOME AGAIN, ROSE,
ABOUT A THOUSAND KISSES SHY.
DING, DONG, DING,
I CAN HEAR THE CHAPEL BELLS CHIME.
DING, DONG, DING,
AT THE LEAST SUGGESTION,
I’LL POP THE QUESTION.
QUARTET
LIDA ROSE, I’M HOME AGAIN, ROSE
WITHOUT A SWEETHEART TO MY NAME.
LIDA ROSE, NOW EV’RYONE KNOWS
THAT I AM HOPING YOU’RE THE SAME.
SO HERE IS MY LOVE SONG;
NOT FANCY OR FINE.
LIDA ROSE, OH, WON’T YOU BE MINE?
JACEY, EWART, OLIVER
LIDA ROSE,
OH, LIDA ROSE,
OH, LIDA ROSE.
(Lights fade out on Quartet as our attention is turned to Marian, on the porch stage left.
Marian is leaning against the banister; Mrs. Paroo is on the bench)
MARIAN
DREAM OF NOW.
DREAM OF THEN.
DREAM OF A LOVE SONG
THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN.
DO I LOVE YOU?
OH YES, I LOVE YOU,
AND I’LL BRAVELY TELL YOU,
BUT ONLY WHEN
WE DREAM AGAIN.
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THE MUSIC MAN
MARIAN
SWEET AND LOW,
SWEET AND LOW,
HOW SWEET THAT MEM’RY;
HOW LONG AGO.
FOREVER, OH YES, FOREVER.
WILL I EVER TELL YOU?
AH, NO.
(Lights come up on Quartet)
QUARTET
LIDA ROSE,
OH, LIDA ROSE,
OH…
MARIAN QUARTET
DREAM OF NOW. …LIDA ROSE,
I’M HOME AGAIN, ROSE,
DREAM OF THEN. TO GET THE SUN BACK IN MY SKY.
DREAM OF A LOVE SONG LIDA ROSE,
I’M HOME AGAIN, ROSE,
THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN ABOUT A THOUSAND KISSES SHY.
DO I LOVE YOU? DING, DONG, DING,
OH YES, I LOVE YOU, I CAN HEAR THE CHAPEL BELL CHIME.
AND I’LL BRAVELY TELL YOU, DING, DONG DING,
BUT ONLY WHEN AT THE LEAST SUGGESTION,
WE DREAM AGAIN. I’LL POP THE QUESTION.
SWEET AND LOW, LIDA ROSE,
I’M HOME AGAIN, ROSE,
SWEET AND LOW, WITHOUT A SWEETHEART TO MY NAME.
HOW SWEET THAT MEM’RY; LIDA ROSE,
NOW EV’RYONE KNOWS
HOW LONG AGO. THAT I AM HOPING YOU’RE THE SAME.
FOREVER.
OH YES, FOREVER. SO HERE IS MY LOVE SONG;
NOT FANCY OR FINE.
WILL I EVER TELL YOU?
LIDA ROSE,
AH, NO. OH, WON’T YOU BE MINE?
JACEY, EWART, OLIVER
LIDA ROSE,
OH, LIDA ROSE,
OH, LIDA ROSE.
(Quartet walks off down left in time, as Paroo sands to confront Marian)
END OF SCENE TWO
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THE MUSIC MAN
SCENE THREE
(TIME: Immediately following. The Paroo’s Porch)
MRS. PAROO
Will you ever stop arguin’ with yourself? Will you ever tell him – won’t you ever tell him – ah yes – ah no – ah fiddlesticks. Just open your mouth and let it come out.
MARIAN
Now Mama you know that I –
MRS. PAROO
Now nuthin’. If he ever comes to call again, you see him alone, and if you haven’t the gumption to tell him how you feel –
MARIAN
Tell him?
MRS. PAROO
Well, there’s nothing wrong with a ladylike hint…
(Winthrop enters from around house with can of worms)
WINTHROP
La de da de da de da de da, La de da.
MRS. PAROO