HEALING “The HURT”
1. Acknowledge the hurt, anger that I feel. Acknowledge any part I may have played.
2. Purposely STOP all thoughts of revenge toward that person
3. Examine the situation from the other person’s point of view. What were they thinking, feeling? What happened to them earlier (apart from me)?
4. Accept the hurt without feeling the need to tell others, beside God
5. Remember how I have offended a Holy God, and how He has forgiven me.
Father, forgive them. For they know not what they do…Jesus
6. Extend compassion to the offending party (either in my heart or in person)
Characteristics of UN-Forgiveness
· Retaliating Pr 24:29
· Destructive Pr 24:17
· Impatient Lk 18:3-4
· Unspiritual Gal 6:1
· PRIDE (Root) Gal 6:1
· Self-righteous 1 Cor10:12
· Disobedient Mt 18:21-22
· Rebellious, Stubborn
1 Sa 15:22
· Angry Eph 4:31
· Judgmental, Critical
Jas 4:11-12
· Unforgetting Eph 4:31
· Prayerless Mt 6:12-15
· Bitter, Hateful
· Tied in knots
· Non-penetrable “wall”
Consequences of Unforgiveness
· Loss of power and sense of God’s presence Eph 3:20; 2 Cor 4:7, Jas 3:14+, Mt 5:2
· Robs me of God’s blessing 1 Pet 3:8-9
· Brings me a self-inflicted unforgiveness from God Mt 5:7, 6:12-15,18:23-35, Mk 11:25
· Poison to one’s soul. Physical health problems Pr 11:17, 12:25,17:22, 14:30, 18:14; Ps 32, 38-40, 51
· Grieves the Spirit of God Eph 4:30
· Causes Satan to gain advantage of me (He moves into my “house”) 2 Cor 2:10, Eph 4:22+
· Brings with it the judgment of God on my life (I am paralyzed to change my future) Jas 5:9; Mt 18:28+
· Affects everyone around me Eccl 9:18b; Pr 27:17
Forgiveness is NOT Just…
· Forgetting the situation (“Holy Amnesia”)
· Pretending all is settled
· Feeling that things are better
· Bringing up the past, discussing it with the offender
· Demanding change before you forgive
· Consoling myself that God will deal with the other party in His own way, time
· Considering the offender “worthy” of forgiveness (as if I was “worthy” of God’s forgiveness)
Characteristics of Forgiveness
· Releasing an obligation from debt (sin).
· Releasing the prisoner and finding that the prisoner is ME! (Finally, FREE!)
· Returning to the offender his freedom, future
· Giving up the right to hurt the person who hurt me
· Self-giving, NOT self-seeking. Investing kindness in their life
· Keeping no records, Love where hatred is expected
· Giving understanding, when the enemy anticipates anger & revenge
· Refusing to seek the “advantage”
· Accepting the hurt, drops all charges, forgives 70 x 7
· Not allowing anything to hinder a relationship
· Giving mercy, as God has been merciful to me
Forgiveness IS…
The continuing process of treating others the same way God treats me. Col 3:13-15
The fragrance the violet sheds on the heel of the shoe that crushes it…George Remisch
PSALM 51
A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet came to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.
1 Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness;
According to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity And cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions, And my sin is ever before me.
4 Against You, You only, I have sinned And done what is evil in Your sight,
So that You are justified when You speak And blameless when You judge.
5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, And in sin my mother conceived me.
6 Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom.
7 Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Make me to hear joy and gladness, Let the bones which You have broken rejoice.
9 Hide Your face from my sins And blot out all my iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me away from Your presence And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation And sustain me with a willing spirit.
13 Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, And sinners will be converted to You.
14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, the God of my salvation;
Then my tongue will joyfully sing of Your righteousness.
15 O Lord, open my lips, That my mouth may declare Your praise.
16 For You do not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it;
You are not pleased with burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.
18 By Your favor do good to Zion; Build the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then You will delight in righteous sacrifices,
In burnt offering and whole burnt offering; Then young bulls will be offered on Your altar.